Cut Short

Out of the darkness my eyes open and adjust to the light.
It's tour day.
Damn tour day.
It always comes way to soon, one minute I had just told Jolie I would be leaving, next I was leaving.
I jump out of bed and drag myself to the kitchen turning on the coffee.
I make my way to Kenadee's room.
The sihlouette of her baby bed is all I see through the curtained window.
I pick up and cradle her sleeping body and sit myself down in the rocking chair Jolie had bought when she had decided to read to Kenadee to get her to sleep easier.
I look over her face just to register and memorize everything about her.
I don't want to forget my own baby girl while I'm gone.
Not her bright blonde hair.
Not her ivory skin so soft.
Not her pout little lips.
Not her big wandering eyes.
Not the sound of little subtle breaths she did when sleeping.
Not anything at all.

I don't know why but I start singing to her.
Just so she won't forget me as well.
"Goodnight my angel, time to close your eyes
And save these questions for another day.
I think I know what you've been asking me.
I think you know what I've been trying to say.
I promised I would never leave you.
And you should always know
Wherever you may go, no matter where you are
I never will be far away."

From the doorway I hear Jolie cough a little like she always does when she wants to make her precense known.
I slowly turn my attention to her.
"What are you doing Mitch?" She says sweetly, gazing at me almost like.
I shrug.
"You're singing to her babe," Jolie says admiring, more like she is telling herself this.
"Yeah.." I question.
"You never sing to her," she chuckles and makes her way to my side, running her hand through my hair and stares down at Kenadee sleeping in my arms.
I shrug.
"I guess I didn't want her to forget my voice while I was away," I say hushily.
Jolie is qiuet.
She's still running her hand through my hair, but this time more absentmindedly.
Then she starts singing herself.
"Goodnight my angel, now it's time to sleep
And still so many things I want to say.
Remember all the songs you sang for me
When we went sailing on an Emerald Bay.
And like a boat out on the ocean
I'm rocking you to sleep.
The water's dark and deep inside this ancient heart
You'll always be a part of me."

I take hold of the moment.
Both Jolie and I singing to Kenadee.
It'd be the perfect Kodac moment if we took pictures often so instead I just take mental ones.
Of Jolie, staring down at Kenadee, at me.
Ones of Kenadee sleeping softly, with a small smile on her little lips because maybe she liked our voices.
Ones of myself caught up in the moment for once because I have such a life and finally appreciate it.

"Jolie," I hum to her, still staring down at Kenadee.
"Hmm?" she says, still running her hand through my hair, probably staring at Kenadee as well.
"I don't want to leave," I say.
And maybe it's just me getting caught up in the moment or maybe it's me finally realizing what I have but at this moment I don't want to leave what I have right here at home.
But I know either way, come this after noon I will still find myself on that bus leaving all this behind.