A Hero Can Save Us

San Diego Marriott Marquis & Marina
9:16 AM

My first instinct was to slam the door in his face as I followed his tired eyes to the discoloration on my neck. I quickly raised my hand to cover it, stepping outside the room, closing the door over gently.
“What the hell are you doing?” I hissed at him as he stood still dazed by my appearance, though looking worse for wear himself.
“A-Autumn told me you were here,” he stuttered, “and I saw you on the internet.”
I placed a hand on my hip, “And?”
Guilt took over his round face, his ocean blue eyes widening with sadness.
“I needed to explain myself,” he said with surprising boldness, “I needed to fix my mistake.”
I scoffed at him, throwing my hands up in exasperation, no longer caring about the hickeys on my neck.
“You’ve got some nerve,” I told him, venom in my voice, “It’s too late for that.”
He ran a hand through his dark brown hair before bursting, “I was scared okay?!”
I laughed at his excuse, “I was scared of elevators but I’ve ridden one at least three times a day since I’ve been here.”
This time there was anger in his voice as he stared me in the face, “that’s not the same and you know it!”
“That’s not the point,” I said placing my hand on the doorknob, “and you need to leave, I don’t want to hear another word.”
I left it at that, going inside and closing the door behind me. I turned to see Milo quite awake, staring at me, his forehead wrinkled with concern as he sat on the bed. I rushed over to him, quietly but profusely apologizing as tears prickled in my eyes.
“Hey,” he said to me, taking my hands in his, “don’t apologize just tell me what happened.”
“It’s Travis,” I cried, tears freeing themselves on my cheeks, “he’s here!”
“In San Diego?” he asked incredulously.
I nodded, “that was him outside.”
Without warning Milo was on his feet, in nothing but a pair of black briefs.
Even under the circumstances, tears still stinging, I felt my cheeks burning as I asked, “what are you doing?”
He turned to me, anger glowing in his usually kind eyes, “I’m going to kick his ass.”
My breath caught in my throat.
“Milo!” I shouted as he reached the door.
He ran his fingers through his short hair as he looked to me.
I shook my head desperately, “please don’t, come lay back down a while.”
He sighed before nodding, hesitantly coming back to me.
He slid back under the covers, beckoning me to do the same. I crawled to the top of the bed before slipping in beside him. He smiled crookedly at me, his hazel eyes tired as he placed a gentle kiss on my forehead. I began stroking his cheek with the backside of my hand and within minutes his eyes fluttered closed once again.
I lay watching him sleep as one billion conflicting thoughts crossed my mind, such as the fleeting moment of joy I felt when I saw Travis again, along with images of the confusing dream I had about them, the fear of harm coming to either of them. I softly stroked the graying hair at Milo’s temples as I thought, ‘You’re so easy to love, it’s almost unfair.’ I was reminded of the times when I felt such deep love for Travis; I thought I would die without him. I was stronger now, I had more life experience but yet I had no idea what to do next, with that realization I surrendered to emotional exhaustion.

11:24 AM

I woke with a start the images from my eight years with Travis and these three wonderful days with Milo plaguing my sleep. My stomach growled loudly reacting to the smell of bacon wafting through the sunny room.
“Bacon?” I called out, as I sat up quickly, in bed. Milo turned and laughed at me from the couch.
“Room service,” he told me with a grin, “I know how you carnivores love your pig.”
I thanked him profusely, heading to the kitchen and grabbing the covered plate off of the counter. I dug in right then realizing just how famished I was having not eaten since the previous evening. I cleared the plate in minutes, dropping it in the sink with a clatter.
I joined Milo on the couch as he scanned the channels. I took this brief moment of calm to bury my face in the crook of his neck, inhaling the smell of aftershave on his skin, knowing it was only a matter of time before conflict arose once again. He planted a kiss on the top of my head before pulling back to look me in the eyes. Preoccupation and worry were evident as he gazed at me unsmiling.
“What are you going to do?” he finally asked.
It was a question I had been asking myself as well.
“I guess the only thing to do is enjoy the last day of Comic-con,” I told him, forcing a smile on my face.
He nodded put the worry never left his face as he said, “Russ will be here soon.”
I had no doubt that Russ was already aware of the events that had occurred last night and this morning.
As if summoned, there was a knock at the door. Milo reluctantly opened the door it to find Russ looking concerned. As he came inside, I grabbed my book bag from the floor and headed toward the bathroom. Once inside, I began pulling a brush through my curly hair, once finished I paused to look at myself in the mirror thinking, ‘Am I a different person than I was before?’ I knew within the day a choice would have to be made.
I pulled my last black Hanes T-shirt from the bag, quickly changing and heading back out where I found Milo and Russ whispering back and forth on the couch.
“Secrets don’t make friends,” I said, startling them both.
Russ gave me the old familiar look of suspicion, while Milo looked apologetic.
I squeezed the bridge of my nose, “let’s just go.”
For the umpteenth time we stepped on the elevator. Milo took my hand in a comforting way, but despite it as the elevator descended a queasy feeling settled in my stomach, which I didn’t know whether to attribute it to the fear of elevators I thought had been assuaged or the inevitable events to come. Russ hummed absently, tapping his toes to the muzak playing in the background. Milo squeezed my hand gently as the elevator opened to the lobby.
It was gratefully empty besides two attendants behind the desk. I breathed a sigh of relief thinking, ‘perhaps he’s given up and just gone home.’ Though as realized my luck wasn’t that good as we reached the entrance of the Convention Center. Not far behind us Travis began calling out my name. I pressed a palm to my forehead as I sped up, Milo still holding my hand tightly, a look of recognition in his eyes.
I pushed through the buzzing crowds, Milo still in tow and Russ following just looking thoroughly pissed. I figured the anger was directed at me, rightfully so. I had brought conflict into their lives that had been seemingly perfect before me. Travis never let up as we made it to the end of the Convention Center. In a moment of recognition, I saw the exit which brought me to an alley the fateful day I met Milo four days before.
I shoved through it, Milo panting as we made it outside. I sighed with relief believing I had lost him. I noticed Russ was nowhere to be seen with in the long alley way, so I was only mildly concerned as the door beside us opened.
Travis stepped through, his face red with both anger and exertion. I hardly noticed as Milo’s grasp on my hand disappeared as he began toward Travis his fist clenched.
Travis seemed to have a similar intention as he shouted, “you?! Go fucking figure!”
“Me?!” Milo yelled incredulously, “you’re the fuck up here.”
I stood helplessly as Milo grabbed the collar of Travis’s T-shirt, shoving him into the wall knocking down a row of metal garbage cans.
“Why couldn’t you just leave her alone?!” Milo screamed at him, fury evident both on his face and in the trembling of his body, “She was fine without you!”
“Why do you even care?” Travis spat back at him, shoving Milo away, nearly causing him to trip over a tipped trash can, “she’s nothing to you!”
Milo shook his head, his hazel eyes narrowed in anger. He lunged forward, throwing a right hook hitting Travis in the mouth. Travis howled in anguish before tackling Milo, throwing him to the ground and hitting him in the jaw.
At that moment, the dreams made sense to me. It hit me for the first time; I knew what had to be done. I never had a choice. Fate had brought us together to change both us and our lives.
“STOP!” I shouted at top of my lungs, starting towards them, “Stop it, both of you!”
They both looked almost innocently at me from the ground. As I met them, I pulled them both to their feet by their shirt collars.
“I can’t do this,” I cried tears streaming down my cheeks, my face burning.
Their eyes softened and they both stepped forward as if to protect me from the other. I stopped them at arm’s length. I shook my head with despair.
I first turned to Travis. I grabbed his wrist and pulled him into my arms, crying for a moment into his Nirvana T-shirt, before pushing him back and pecking him on his swollen lips.
“Travis, I will always love you,” I told him gazing into his blue eyes, squeezing his hand, trying to find the courage to tell him what I had known all along, “but the moment you left me, it was over, I was never going to be the same and I can’t just forget that you decided that you were too afraid to spend your life with me.”
I pulled the necklace bearing my engagement ring over my neck, before thrusting it into his hand. Dejection over took his face.
His blue eyes swam with tears, “but I-“
I just shook my head, a sob escaping me.
“I’m sorry but I’ve got to move on with my life,” I told him as he stared down at the ring put on my finger that fateful day 5 years ago, the first tears dripping down his pale cheeks, “I’ll never forget those years with you.”
It took all I had not to try to comfort him as a look of hurt overtook him and his shoulders wracked with sobs, a drop of blood dripping from his busted lip.
Just then Russ came through the exit, confusion evident on his face.
I looked from him to Milo, who was waiting patiently, a bruise already beginning to bloom on his cheek.
I gazed back to Russ, before mouthing the words, “I’m sorry.”
I couldn’t keep the unspoken promise. His forehead crinkled before he shook his head in disgust.
I turned to Milo, beckoning him toward me. He obliged, pulling me into his arms. I deeply breathed in his scent knowing this would be the last time I was close enough to do so. I drew his lips to mine, kissing him once last time. I broke away after a second, turning to see Travis still in tears, his pain radiating around me.
“Milo?” I asked, peering deeply into his hazel eyes.
“Yes,” he whispered breathlessly.
“You are so easy to love,” I admitted stroking his dark hair.
He sighed deeply, before asking, “But?”
“You deserve better,” I told him, tears flowing relentless down my cheeks as I placed a hand on his cheek.
I thought I heard his voice break as he cried, “Don’t tell me what I deserve!”
I simply shook my head, “you deserve a fresh start, someone without so much baggage.”
His hazel eyes swam and I felt a spite for myself that I found extremely painful but necessary.
I forced a laugh, “face it, dear. I’m damaged goods.”
Milo shook his head profusely, stealing a glance a Travis, who now sat on the concrete his head in his hands, “I don’t care.”
I grabbed his hand and gave it a gentle squeeze.
“Yes you do,” I told him gazing up at him, “and someday soon, someone will change your life the way that you’ve changed mine.”
I squeezed his hand once more before stepping away. Russ glared at me before placing his hand on Milo’s shoulder protectively.
I stepped away looking over my shoulder to the two men who would each always have a piece of my heart. The two watched me go tearfully, Travis sitting on ground his eyes wide, Milo standing with Russ, a sad longing in his hazel eyes and I adored them both in that moment. Using all the emotional strength I had left, I continued down the alley to the open street before me. I knew now, that I had to go it alone but I would never truly be alone, Travis and Milo’s love would last me a lifetime.