I'm Low on Gas and You Need a Jacket

Somewhere in between the drive to Jaime’s house – I fell asleep. Well, I didn’t even know I was asleep until I felt myself being nudged softly.

“Lil. We’re here. Wake up.” He says into my ear, and my eyes flutter open. I rub the sleep from my eyes, and clamber out of the car, grabbing two bags in the process.

“Don’t worry. I got it. Just take the key and go inside. Make yourself at home.” Jaime says, giving me his keys. “The house key is the one with mickey mouse on it” He gives me a cheeky grin and I can’t help but smile at him.

When I let myself into the house, I go right over to lie on the couch, as I wait for him to come in with the bags. A few minutes later along with some trips back and forth upstairs and some shuffling and grunting from Jaime, he finally tells me he’s done bringing everything in, and putting it in what will be my bedroom.

He picks my legs up, and takes a seat on the couch, placing my legs over top of his, and words are falling out of my mouth before I can stop them.

“Hime. I feel like such a burden to you. I’m so sorry. I’ll be out of your hair as soon as I can find a new place an—“

“Lil. We are not about to start this. You’re not a burden – I’m completely fine with you living here for as long as you want. Don’t feel compelled to move out. You’re family, you know I love you, and that’s that.” He says with a very serious tone. I know not to argue with him.

“Alright Jaime. Calm down. Whatever you say.” I tell him dryly, rolling my eyes.

“Good. Now that that’s squared away, would you like something to eat, drink?” He ask me, starting to get up, all smiles again.

“If I ask you for a bottle of whiskey so I can drown my feelings, would you give it to me?” I ask him in a very much serious voice and he widens his eyes.

“No Lil, that’s not an option.” He says while rolling his eyes, looking at me un amused.

“Oh calm down Jaime, I was only kidding… kind of” I say grinning and he can’t help but to grin back at me, even though he’s still shaking his head.

“Alright, if I can’t drink myself into a stupor, can I just go back to sleep? I’m really tired. Today was really emotionally draining.” I say, my voice almost giving out on that last sentence.

“Of course, here I’ll take you to your room.” He says holding my hand as we walk upstairs.

When we get to the second floor of the house, there is a big long hallway, and Jaime takes me to the second door on the right side. He opens the door and I’m in awe of how big the room is. I have my own bathroom and everything.
“I hope this is okay. If you don’t like it – we can go get some paint or something and redecorate later this week.” He says, watching me intake the room.

“Jaime it’s fine, don’t worry. Thank you for being so amazing to me. I love you so much. You’re really the best.” I turn and give him the biggest hug ever and a kiss on the cheek, and he smiles really big, both of his dimples popping out.

“You’re welcome Lil. I love you too, get some sleep, I’ll see you in the morning?” He says as I get into the bed, and he pulls the covers around me tight, and turns off the light.

About twenty minutes later, I fall into a deep sleep filled with vivid dreams of Cam and I, and what we used to be.

______

When I wake up, it’s 10:30 am according to my clock. I roll out of bed and decided that I’m in need of a shower. I grab my bag filled with toiletries and take it into the bathroom with me, since I haven’t bothered to unpack my things yet.

I get in the shower and start to lather my body, I stand under the practically scalding water and just think about how everything is going to change in my life, how I’ll need to get a job so I can help Jaime with the bills and such. I never had to keep a job when I was with Cam. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to. I tried to find work on multiple occasions. Cam just insisted that he wanted to take care of me and didn’t want me to work. I couldn’t fight him, so I just took some online classes, hung out with Rosie, and that was really about it.

I’ve been in the shower for quite a while, and I don’t want to use all the hot water in case Jaime hasn’t gotten up yet, so I go ahead and get out. I towel myself off and put on a black tank top with some grey sweat pants, and I pile my wet hair atop my head in a very high bun.

I make my way downstairs and I see Jaime downstairs on the phone with someone, sitting on the living room sofa. He mouths “Hi” to me and I wave back, going into the fridge to get something small to eat. I settle on an apple, and sit in the love seat diagonal from the couch Jaime is on.

I’m in my own zone just thinking about everything and Jaime is waving a hand frantically in my face.

“What’s up?” I ask blinking rapidly and looking up at him.

“I was wondering if you wanted to hang out with me and a few of my friends?” He’s looking at me hopefully and I make a face.

“Jaime – I don’t mean to seem like a Debbie downer but I don’t really want to meet any people. I just want to keep to myself, and go on living my miserable life.” I grumble, getting up to throw the apple core into the trash. He’s hot on my heels following me.

“Please Lil, I’m begging – they’re really nice guys, and honestly you could use some new people to be around. I won’t have you living here with me, and you’re all alone. The guys will love you. I know it. What do you have to loose?”

He’s looking at me so sternly. I don’t understand why it’s so imperative that I have friends. I clearly can’t trust anyone. The one friend I actually had, look what she did to me.

Maybe I can just go and play nice, a few false grins, and it will be over and done with, right?

“Fine Jaime. Fine. I’ll meet your friends.” I groan and he picks me up in an embrace and spins me around.

“It will be a lot of fun I promise Lil! You’re going to fit right in perfectly.” He’s all but shouting as he’s spinning me around.

“So what time are we leaving or whatever?” I ask, as he starts to put me down.

“Not until later tonight. Uh, it’s actually kind of a small get together at my friend Tony’s house.” He says still bounding with excitement.

“Well, since we clearly have a lot of time to kill, what did you want to do?” I ask him.

“Let’s go to Disneyland!”

________

We left for Disney around 2:00pm and didn’t get back until around 8:30 and I can honestly say in that time, I didn’t think about Cam or anything once. I didn’t scowl or pout. I was genuinely happy and in a good mood, and I was actually kind of excited for this little party thing.

When we got back to Jaime’s, we both went to our respective rooms to get ready. I didn’t want to keep him waiting, so I just quickly showered, and blew my hair out. I was having trouble on deciding on an outfit, until I saw the Pantera shirt that Mike had given me folded in a basket along with some other things. I guess Jaime did some laundry early this morning. He always was an early bird for as long as I’ve known him.

I picked up the shirt and held it up in front of me, smiling fondly at how long it was on me, and I got a great idea. I opened up one of my toiletry bags and got a pair of scissors and went to work on the shirt.

I cut out the neckline, and cut a little bit of the sleeves to make it shorter. I also did one little cut underneath the armholes to make it look less awkward. I put on a bra, and slipped the shirt on, and it looked absolutely perfect. You could tell I altered it my self, but it looked so nice. It wasn’t too short or anything. I looked respectable.

I put on a pair of tights, that had the London Skyline across the thigh, and a pair of faux leather boots that I scored at Forever 21 on a clearance sale.
I finger-combed my hair one last time, put on my glasses, and went downstairs to find Jaime sitting at the island, eating a banana.

He looked up at me and his eyes widened as he gave me the once over.

“Lil you’re so pretty.” He gushes as he throws away the rest of his banana and gives me a hug.

I hug him back tightly. “Thank you Jaime. Thank you for everything.” I say feeling so goddamned happy for the first time in the past three days or so.

“You’re so welcome.” He says pulling away from me. Are you ready to go? He asks, getting his car keys.

“As ready as I’ll ever be.” I smile and we link arms and walk towards his car.