Wretches & Kings

Name after name had been etched into the towering wall that was once BigBang's home. Out of the thirty thousand that once resided there, three hundred and seventy-seven bodies had been accounted for after the Dakeu's raid. Nearly a hundred more had been lost when BigBang had executed their rescue mission. Among those names, those signs that was all that was left of identities was Daesung and T.O.P..

People stepped up to the wall, left trinkets or anything as a sign of honor for those that had fallen, some their loved ones. Hyun Ae stood amongst the crowd, eyes only picking up on the movements, blurred colors in motion.

Two tiny hands grasped her arm. Appendages of the tongueless girl, Yeon Hee. She had become Hyun Ae's eyes, took the position without word or persuasion. She had simply materialized at Hyun Ae's side and that was where she stayed.

The two handicaps stayed in front of that wall like they were made of stone themselves. The crowd had disintegrated after saying their farewells and the two women were all that was left. Yeon Hee led Hyun Ae up to the wall. She took the older girl's hand and rested it over the characters of her lover's name. Yeon Hee stepped away, but not before letting her fingers trial over her own name to mourn.

Hyun Ae stood, tracing her fingertips over his name again and again as if that would bring him back. It was all her fault. If she hadn't entered the sanctuary of BigBang maybe Daesung would still be alive. Maybe if she would have died things would be better. Perhaps, she wasn't meant to have survived. She was supposed to die. She'd caused so much suffering amongst everyone that surrounded her. In return, her heart cracked and splintered. Daesung, the only person ever truly reach her heart, the one that had stolen it, was dead. Her sight, something she dearly needed to participate in the actions that made her feel whole, was disrupted.

And the memories. The disturbing, brutal imagery that flashed through her mind like broken film at the violation that had been forced upon her. It left her unable to sleep because of the flashbacks; closing her eyes brought on the memories, the feelings, the thoughts. She couldn't get away from it.

Hyun Ae couldn't take it.

--

What was left of BigBang had migrated farther into the tunnels, leaving the ruins of their old home. Where they were relocating was more crudely set up, simply supposed to be a temporary location. However, it would be their home until their superiors could think of something different.

It'd taken a decade to build BigBang into what it was. Another would have to go into rebuilding it. However, everyone was scattered and worn, the heavy burdens of who and what they had lost was weighting on their forms.

Especially G-Dragon's.

He'd spent the nights after the Dakeu's invasion thinking about what could be done. The thoughts of how helpless Hyun Ae was kept getting in the way.

He traveled towards the barracks of his people, wanting to see if Hyun Ae had any improvement. He saw Yeon Hee hurrying towards him, face blanched. His stomach knotted.

“What is it?” he demanded. “Where's Hyun Ae?” The mute hadn't left her side since it was revealed Hyun Ae's sight had been damaged. Yeon Hee shrugged, shook her head, and signed to him in an attempt to communicate. “You don't know where she is.”

Harsh sounds left her mouth and she shook her head, severe worry in her eyes. “Alright, I'll help you look. We'll split up.” Yeon Hee nodded and rushed off.

Something was wrong; GD could feel it in the tightening of his gut. He asked around, but no one had seen her. Searching, wandering, beginning to panic. He was going down a narrow crevice, an old hallway with broking, hanging fixtures. The tile on the walls and floors had been tore up. An echoing chorus of consuming sobs rang off the walls. G-Dragon crept inward, eyes adjusting to the darkness.

Hidden in a doorway was Hyun Ae, doubled over and sucking in breathes. Hearing her approach, she jolted her head up and GD saw the scalpel blade clenched in a hand, pressed to the opposite wrist. She was contemplating, fighting with herself. However, the presence of GD seemed to trigger the decision and by the look on her face, he knew she was going to do it.

“Hyun Ae...you don't have to do this...” Her hands trembled, the blade already piercing the skin of her pale wrist. “Hyun Ae, listen to me.”

“I can't—I can't do this,” she whimpered. “I've lost my sight...Daesung...” a sob tore from her throat, “and...him...what—what he did...”

GD's guy twisted with disgust, pity. “I can't even imagine what he did to you, but you don't have to hurt yourself.”

“I'm not going to hurt myself,” she said after taking a gulp of air. “I'm going to end—”

“No.” His voice was firm. “You will not.”

“I—I can't live...this way...” Her shoulders were heaving with sobs. “I'm alone...”

“No, you're not,” G-Dragon said, drawing closer. “You have me. You have Seungri. You have Mi Hee and everyone else you've cared for and saved. We're all here for you. I'll help you.” The blade dug in deeper and Hyun Ae winced. GD tried a different angle. “Do you think this is what Daesung would want?” His words startled her and he continued. “Daesung would want you to keep living, keep loving others the way he did. He wouldn't want you to do this to yourself. And you want Doh-Chang to win? You want him to succeed in ending another life to early? Hyun Ae, think about what Daesung would want. He wouldn't want you to do this. He...loved you too much for it.”

Hyun Ae's shoulders shook harder until the sobs that tore free were painful and rasping. “Drop the scalpel, Hyun Ae.” GD was nearly in front of her. “Just drop it. Its okay; I'll help you.”

The cold blade rose from her wrist, crimson trailing down against stark white. The scalpel dropped to the floor with a clang. GD caught her in his arms; she clung to him, sobbing into his shoulder. He held her that way for long, tense moments. His heart being ripped from his chest. He gathered her in his arms after her wails diminished slightly and took her away from prying eyes.

She was always shaking now. Always clenched muscles and frightened eyes and trembling bones. GD couldn't take it. She was so broken now, more than before when she'd first arrived from the pits of slavery. It would take an abundance of time to grasp her sanity again. But at least she trusted him enough for him touch her, hold her. Though she shook and whimpered against him, a sense of safety washed over her.

Going to his own little hole that he'd occupied, isolated from the rest, GD set her down amongst the blankets that made his bed. She curled into herself. GD watched her as he grabbed an old shirt of his and tore at it, biceps clenching as he took his anger out on the piece of cloth. He knelt beside the shaking form and carefully took her wrist, which she allowed. Blood was drying in a trail along her arm, something he'd worry about cleaning up later. For now, he wrapped the cloth around the slice that was so clean and pure against porcelain canvas. He pressed his lips to the cotton binding slowly, eyes locked on her.

Hyun Ae wouldn't look at him. Her eyes were fastened to the wall. She felt wretched. Dirty. Her conscious howled at her cowardliness. But what was she to do? She would do anything to step into Daesung's place, but she couldn't. Not with her sight the way it was.

She became aware of the body that laid down next to her. G-Dragon's hand slid from her side to her arm to shoulder, easing her into his touch. Muscles relaxed slightly and his arm encircled her around the waist. She was frightened, yet heartened by his actions. Confused. She turned around in his embrace so she was facing him and, still not looking him in the eye, culled closer. He was her only support in that moment, the only thing she could grasp onto and keep herself from sinking into her own despair and wretchedness. For once, she needed human contact, yearned for it because it made her feel more attached again. Near someone who wouldn't hurt her.

“Try to sleep,” GD whispered, warm breathe against her crown.

He knew by the dulling of her eyes, the black half moons underneath those dying orbs, that she slept little. The shaking had ceased and she felt lax and subtle in his arms though and he wondered if she could rest. Physically, mentally, and emotionally. Calloused fingers traveled down her arm, the other set stroking her hair, as GD closed his own eyes, wanting her to do the same. The frame beside him relaxed more and he knew that it would be a bigger battle than he thought.