Pretty Girls Make Graves

My stomach was in knots as people started to arrive to the house that night. I could sense that my friends were getting annoyed with me, every time we spoke I kept looking over to the door over their shoulders, waiting to see her walk in. Come midnight I just wanted to go to bed, my body wracked with disappointment. I told everyone that I had a migraine but that they should stay; Gerard was still up and was keeping the flow of alcohol going.
I was at the stairs when the front door slowly creaked open, and I looked over my shoulder to see who it was. My heart raced when I saw Allegra walk in, her auburn hair tied back in a messy bun. All I wanted to do was pull out the bobbin and let it tumble down her back. I smiled as I turned around and started to walk down the stairs, before I froze when I noticed how her eyes were darting back and forth. Common sense was telling me that she was frightened or nervous, but I shrugged the notion away. As I got closer to her, though, I saw that under her eyes were slightly puffy.
She had been crying.

"Allegra," I called out to her as I approached her, gaging her attention.

She turned and smiled when she saw me, advancing towards me with her normal confidence radiating off of her.

"You're upset," I found myself muttering.

I didn't care how overbearing or weird I seemed in front of her, she always made me feel like it was okay for me to be myself.

"Allergies," she smiled, but it didn't quite reach her eyes.

"Is everything okay?"

"Mikes, I'm fine."

I bit back the urge to smile when she called me Mikes, relishing in the fact that she had her own personal nickname for me.

"Is everything okay?" I repeated, my tone firmer this time.

She swallowed hard and brought her arms up to her chest as she hugged herself.

"Can I have a drink?" she asked softly.

I didn't press her for any answers, I just went off and got her a beer. I returned to her side and handed her the red plastic cup. She gave me a half smile as she took it from me and instantly brought it to her lips, her eyes nervously scanning the room.

"Do you want to go upstairs to a quieter room?" I asked, praying that she saw that I was just trying to be nice and that I wasn't going to try any funny business.

"Yeah."

I knew she had whispered the word, I couldn't hear her over the music, but once I read the word on her lips, I took her hand and brought her up to my room. I closed the door over behind me and sat down on my computer chair while she sat on the edge of the bed, nervously drinking from her cup.

"What happened?" I asked after a good few minutes of silence.

She didn't reply, just stared off into the distance. Eventually, she straightened her shoulders and shot a wide smile my way.

"It's nothing. Just family stuff," she shrugged.

I stayed quiet as I watched her and then decided that I wouldn't ask her anymore questions about it. I hated it when people kept trying to get me to talk to them after my parents got divorced. Some days you want to talk about it, and other days you don't, and I silently watched her as she downed the rest of her beer.

"Do you ever feel completely unloved?" she asked quietly.

My stomach twisted when I saw that her usual confidence and obnoxiousness was gone.
The great Allegra Adams was now sitting on my bed, looking tiny and fragile.
I swallowed convulsively and moved onto the bed beside her. In a sick way, I was storing this memory away in my mind, wanting to remember it forever. I felt like I was the only person on the planet that she was opening up to.
I opened my mouth to try and reassure her that of course somebody loved her, but then I clamped it shut. I knew that no amount of words could comfort her, so in the end I brought my mouth down onto hers. She didn't move at first, she just sat there with her lips barely touching mine, before she moved her hand up to my shoulder. I gently pressed my hand against her cheek and applied more pressure to the kiss. She was almost unresponsive at first and I was beginning to freak out a little, but then she pulled me close to her. I brought my hand around to the back of her head and tugged her hair out of her bun, sighing into the kiss when her sweet scent engulfed me, and tangled my hand in her thick waves.
She shocked me slightly by suddenly shifting herself so that she was straddling me, but I wasn't complaining. I firmly gripped her hips as I tilted my head up slightly so that I could continue kissing her. She moaned lightly into the kiss, it vibrating against my lips, as my hands stole around and grabbed her butt. I was growing hard and I was certain that she could feel me sitting against her. She pulled her mouth away from mine and gently gripped the sides of my face as she stared at me. I was mesmerized by her eyes, noticing that she had a ring of gold around her irises.

"You're not going to leave me again, are you?"

I shook my head no, my heart beating all the faster as her hands dropped to my shoulders and she asked me if I had a condom.
Seriously, where did this girl come from?
I gently moved her off my lap and told her I'd be right back. I quickly scurried into Gerard's messy room and began rummaging through his presses, looking for some condoms. My hands were shaking slightly as I looked under his bed and pulled out a shoe box. I opened the box and found Gerard's stash of pot and some condoms. I grabbed one and was about to push the box back under the bed before I grabbed the small bottle of lube that was in there too.
Allegra was sitting Indian style on the bed, shadows from the dim lighting in the room dancing across her face. I closed the door behind me and locked it, before sitting back down beside her. We said nothing as we both looked down at the condom, and I was praying that she was feeling as nervous as I was. After a few minutes of silence, Allegra leaned over and gently kissed my cheek. Desire and lust replaced my anxiety, and after another quick make-out session we both were naked under the covers.

"Are you nervous?" she asked me softly as we lay side by side, looking up at the ceiling.

"I guess..." I replied bashfully.

"Me too."

"I don't want to hurt you," I turned my head to face her.

She looked back at me, a soft smile on her face.

"You could never hurt me, Mikes," she softly touched my cheek.

I frowned slightly at her comment. She didn't even know me, yet she was placing all her trust in me. I shook my head and cleared my throat.

"Do you still wanna?"

She nodded, looking anxious. I sat up and tore open the foil of the condom wrapper before I rolled it on. I knew she was looking at me, and I could feel my cheeks reddening slightly. No one had ever seen me naked before, and I was feeling a little embarrassed. Once I had it on, she sat up slightly and moved her mouth onto mine. I cupped her face as we kissed before we both lay back down, me positioned at her entrance.

"If you want to stop at all, just tell me and I will, okay?" I said as I gently brushed a strand of hair out of her face.

I wanted to remember her face perfectly for the rest of my life. I wanted to see and record every little expression she made during this.
I wanted to know if she liked me as much as I liked her.

"I'll tell you," she replied just as softly.

I pushed all of my weight onto my elbows and pushed forward. My heart was racing as I slipped into her, my entire body tensing with pleasure as I felt her tight around me. This was pure fucking bliss, and we hadn't even started moving yet.
Her breathing was slightly erratic as I pushed all the way into her. She was tight, but I don't think she felt any pain. I remembered Ellie telling me that some girls found it painful and other girls didn't. Some girls even had orgasms during their first time.
As if she could sense me staring at her, she opened her large eyes and locked them with mine.

"Are you okay?"

"It's just different," she whispered with a small smile.

"I'll move slow."

I gritted my teeth as I slowly began to move in and out of her, wanting to do nothing more than get my release, but I wanted this to be good for her too. It had to be good for her.
I couldn't help but groan and close my eyes over when she sighed lightly, the sound of her enjoying this turning me on all the more, if possible. I moved a little faster and opened my eyes when she gripped my shoulders. Her eyes were closed and her heart-shaped mouth was parted, small sounds of pleasure dancing from it every now and then. I wanted to watch her face the entire time, but I could already feel my body tensing and my muscles clenching in pleasure, and all I could do was rest my head beside hers and squeeze my eyes shut as my thrusts became more forceful.

"I can't h-hold on," I managed to stammer into her ear, and she let out a little cry of protest, telling me that she was close.

I forced myself to slow down and concentrate on her, sweat sheeting my body as I tried to control myself. And fuck me, it was worth it. Feeling her muscles clench around me, having her cry out my name and pull me close as her body stiffened and her back arched was the best thing in the world. I finally let myself pick up my pace, and soon I was pouring my seed into her, my chest heaving as my lungs tried to get enough air into them.
I slowly pulled out of her and got rid of the condom before I lay back down on the bed beside her, pulling the covers back up over us.
I pulled her closer to me and gently kissed her cheek, wanting her to look at me instead of the ceiling. When she turned to face me she wasn't smiling, but her eyes were soft.

"Can you stay the night?" I mumbled sleepily, post-orgasm exhaustion washing over me.

"I guess," she whispered.

I didn't want her to do another disappearing act, like she always did.
But I guess some things are just inevitable.