Life As We Know It

The first week with Austin was pretty good other than not sleeping and stinky diapers. But I was going by the books I read and nothing horrible has happened yet. Most of the week has been consumed of funeral plans, picking out things like caskets, and headstones. I have never been so grateful for my mother’s Type A personality until now. She has everything planned out and all I have to do is check off on it and sign forms. It was Saturday night and the Penguins game was about to start. I was settled on the couch with Austin propped up in my lap facing the TV too.

“You will grow up to be a sports fan if I have anything to say about it” I told him with a smile and he gurgled back. Most of the game I spent talking and explaining everything to him. I talked all about Sidney Crosby getting hurt, getting James and Matt in a trade, how James just got a huge contract, and Evgeni Malkin and his scoring ability. I fed him during the second intermission and he fell asleep with ten minutes left in the game. I couldn’t celebrate too hard at the end of the game with him in my arms but I did do a little fist pump before taking him upstairs to his crib. I went back downstairs just in time to see the stars of the game, Third star- Flower, Second star- Geno, and First star- James.
After the game James was interviewed by the local station.

“Damn that boy is hot” I said to myself as I watched him talk and flashing that smile. When he was first traded here I thought he was cute but since then that cuteness has turned into undeniable sexiness.

All the books I read say that when the baby is sleeping then you should too. That thought made me get up off the couch, turn everything off, check the doors, and climb the stairs to bed.

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Sundays are lazy days but when the baby formula is running out it means a grocery run. I got ready, got Austin ready, and we made our way to the store. I have always loved grocery shopping; it is so peaceful to me, wandering up and down the aisles. I picked up some diapers and baby formula for him while I got some food for me. I was in the freezer aisle when Austin started to cry. I picked him up and bounced him for a few seconds while searching for a binky in the diaper bag. I pulled one out and a toy came out with it and fell on the ground.

“Shit” I said as I tried to calm him down and bend down but I was beat to the toy giraffe. “Thanks” I said to the stranger as I looked down at Austin.

“You’re welcome” he said and froze because I knew that voice; because I was listening to him talk just last night on TV. I looked up to find a pair blue-green eyes and a warm smile looking back at me.

I didn’t want to be one of those annoying fan girls so I just gave him a polite smile and said “Hi”

“Hi, cute kid” he said and looked down at Austin. I noticed he has stopped crying and is staring at James like he a piece of art work. ‘I know how you feel buddy’ I said in my head.

“Oh, he’s not…um…” I didn’t know what to say so I just accepted it “Thanks, I like him”

“Well I would hope so, mom’s usually like their kids” he said with a chuckle

“I’m not his mother, his sister actually”

“Oh” he said as he looked between the two of us, I know he was trying to figure it out.

“Well it was nice meeting you, but I have to get him home soon” I said as I put him back into the car seat. I grabbed a few frozen dinners and pizzas and was on my way.

By the time I was done shopping James was too and we checked out at the same time. On the way home I noticed a car behind me and when it turned into the same gated suburb I started to get nervous. When I pulled into the driveway it pulled into the driveway next to me and I relaxed a little until the driver stepped out of the car.

“No Fucking Way” I said to myself as I watched James start to unload his groceries and take them inside. I got out and got Austin inside before going back for my groceries. He must have seen me because the next thing I know he is walking across the icy yard to me.

“Well isn’t this an unexpected surprise?” he says grabbing four bags and taking them inside like it was an everyday occurrence. I got the rest of the bags, closed the trunk, and followed him inside still dazed. “Wow, nice house. Your parents?” he asked as he set the bags on the counter in the kitchen.

I know he didn’t know anything but it brought tears to my eyes. I have been so caught up with Austin I haven’t cried since that first night. When I am planning the funeral I somehow shut off my emotions and get it done.

“Are you okay? Did I say something?” he asked

“You couldn’t have know” I choked out “I’m fine” I say and wipe my tears away, willing them away. He tries to say something else but Austin interrupts him with a cry.

“What’s wrong?” he says like the world is ending while looking at Austin.

“He is just hungry” I say as I pick him up and go into the kitchen for a bottle. I rock him while the bottle is heating up. He does what is natural to him and tried to grab onto my boob for milk. “Sorry buddy, nothing is going to come out of there” I say forgetting I have a visitor until he laughs. I blush deep red “Sorry I forgot you were here”

“Its fine” he says as I grab the bottle and test the temperature.

“Here you go buddy” I say and he greedily takes it. I make my way into the living room so I can sit down and get comfortable. I sit on the couch and grab the Boppy and put it under my arm to support me. “Ah, that’s better” I say to him. James comes over and sits next to me and looks down at Austin as he eats.

“He really is adorable” he says as he strokes he cheek with a finger.

“Yeah he is” I say looking down at him. There is kind of a uncomfortable silence so I say the first thing that comes to mind. “Do you want to feel him?”

“No I would probably screw it up” he said

“It is pretty impossible to screw up” I said as I moved the boppy from my lap to his. “Hold your arms like this,” showing him how to do it and setting Austin in his arms “support his head,” moving his arm to get a better angle “and look at that, you are doing it” I said looking over at him holding him.
“This isn’t so bad” he said to Austin then looked up at me “But I bet your aunt is much better” I blushed at the comment and looked away.

“You look good with a baby” I said and wanted to shoot myself after.

“Thanks but you looks better” he said with a wink. I couldn’t tell if he was flirting or if this was just his personality. I decided not to comment on it and let it go. “He is done” he said after a minute.

I went to get a burp rag then burped him and I bounced him. after that he started to fall asleep “I need to put him down” I said and made my way upstairs and heard James follow. I rocked him until I knew he was fully asleep then laid him down in the crib. I turned on the monitor and we went back downstairs.

“You know I never got your name”

“Alexis but my friends call me Lex”

“James” he said and held out his hand

“I know” I said as I shook his hand.

“You never said anything” he said but didn’t let go of my hand.

“I was respecting your privacy” I said with a shrug.

“I appreciate that, and now that we are neighbors we will be seeing a lot of each other I guess”

“Yeah I guess” I noticed we were still holding hands but I wasn’t going to say anything until he did.

Only when his phone rang did he let go and my hand felt instantly cold.

“Hey man” he said into the phone and since I could only hear one side it didn’t really make sense. “Yeah, I’ll be over in like an hour” he said “Yeah see you then” then hung up the phone. “I have to go; friend invited me to hang out. I guess I will see you later” he said and made his way to the door.

“Yeah, it was nice to meet you today” I said and walked him out “If you ever need anything, you know where to find me”

“Yeah, back at you” he said and started to make his way across the lawn.

“And James” I yelled out, he turned around “Good game last night, bye” I said and shut the door before he could say anything back.

I made my way to the stairs and sat down thinking over the day. “This has to be a dream” I say to myself but when I pinch myself I don’t wake up. “Holy shit” I said and put my head in my hands.