Life As We Know It

James is back in town and we have plans to hang out tonight at my house. I’m not really sure what tonight entails so I am dressed in jeans and an off the shoulder sweater, casual but still cute. I have one of the many dinners that take up my freezer in the over cooking and Austin is sleeping for the time being. I hear a knock at the door and I know it is James; he is considerate enough to not ring the doorbell and wake Austin.

“Hey Lex” he says and gives me a kiss on the cheek. He does this now when he sees me and I am not sure if that is his personality or he likes me.

“Hey James, I have Lasagna in the oven and it is almost ready” I say and walk back to the kitchen with him following. “Can I get you something to drink?”

“What do you have?” he asks and I open a pretty packed fridge. “I’ll take a beer” he says “Lasagna smells delicious, I didn’t know you could cook”

“I can’t” I say with a laugh “This is from Mrs. Williams down the street; it has been in my freezer since she brought it to me”

“Oh” he says and gets quiet “How is Austin? I didn’t want to ring the doorbell in case he was sleeping”

“He is good and good call on the doorbell because he is sleeping at the moment and I would like to keep it that way”

“Trouble?” he asks

“No I just like the quiet, I don’t get it very often anymore.” I say and the timer goes off for dinner. Once we settle down for dinner we start asking questions about one another.

“So have you lived here your whole life?” he asked

“Yeah, I am a born and raised Pittsburgher” I say proudly “And where are you from originally?”

“Ontario” he says with a smile.

“Do you miss it?” I ask

“Yeah, I miss my family but I love being here and living my dream”

“Who is all in your family?”

“My mom, dad, two brothers, and my sister” he says with a soft smile.

“I can see you miss them; it’s in your eyes when you talk about them”

“Yeah, it’s hard but so worth it”

“So honestly, how do you like it here?” I ask

“Well, at first it was really hard coming in halfway through a season and trying to get to know 20 guys in 2 months; but I really like it here now that I have bonded with the guys and I know the city better.”

“That’s good, I would hate to see you unhappy” I said quietly then changed the conversation quickly

“So can you give me any dirty secrets of your teammates?” I ask with a smirk.

“Hmm, this is a tough one. Are you going to post all of the conversation on twitter?”

“I would never do that to you or anyone on that team” I say “Unless I had your consent”

“Let’s see, who do you want to know about?” he asks with a sly smile

“Hmm, let’s start with the golden boy himself”

“Sid, he likes to sing but is super tone deaf” he says and laughs

“Geno”

“He likes to dance and it is so bad”

“Flower”

“He always wears the same shirt while working out on game days and never washes it, it reeks so bad”

“Oh my gosh that is disgusting”

“I know, it’s bad”

“How about that Neal guy?”

“Well I don’t know him very well but I hear he is flawless” he says playing along

“Flawless? Well I have met him a few times and I have to say he can’t decorate a house to save his life”

“Hey! I just moved in”

“What a couple of months ago? You can’t honestly tell me you have had no free time to at least paint a wall?”

“I am working on it” I says and crosses his arms.

“Fine, I won’t make fun of you” I say with a smile and I finish off my food. I get up and set the plates in the sink to wash later then get a bottle ready for Austin when he wakes up any minute.

“You may not see it but you really are good at this” he says as he watches me

“What?” I ask as I check the temperature of the milk

“Being a mom”

“I’m not a mom” I say and turn away from him

“Hey” he says from right behind me “I didn’t mean to upset you”

“I know but I just don’t see myself as a mom”

“I see a woman caring for a baby and doing a kick ass job at it. Making sure he has everything he needs and loving him like no other, if that isn’t a mom then I don’t know what is”

As I am about to answer Austin starts crying. I get him from his pack-n-play and get situated on the couch to feel him.

“I’m just scared” I say in a whispered voice to James who is sitting next to me.

“Scared of what?”

“What if I am not good enough?”

“I think you are plenty good enough”

I digest his words for a few minutes before thinking of the future.

“What do you think is going to happen in a few months when he starts talking? He is going to call me mommy and I can’t explain to him that I’m not his mom but his sister”

“Can’t you like adopt him and then you will be his mom?” he asked

“Yeah but I wouldn’t do that to my mom or my brother, he deserves to know who his mom is”

“Well I say when he gets old enough you tell him but he will be super confused if you never let him call you mom, it will happen eventually so why not let it happen naturally”

“Yeah I guess you are right I just don’t feel right about it” I say and lift Austin to burp him.

“No offense to you or your mother but I think who raises a child is the parent” he says is a small voice not wanting to upset me.

“Thank you James, for believing in me so much” I say and lean over and give him a kiss on the cheek.

“You’re welcome” he says “And my door is always open if you need anything”

“I’ll keep that in mind” I say and pull Austin away from my shoulder. “Do you want to see James?” I ask Austin and turn to James.

“Come her big guy” James says and takes him away from me. He bounces him on his knee and makes funny faces, Austin is giggling and I think it is one of my favorite sounds in the world.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

It is Wednesday night and I am about to pull my hair out. Austin has been crying for the past half hour and won’t stop. He isn’t hungry, doesn’t need to be changed, wont sleep…I have tried everything. Well everything except one….

Walking across the lawn with Austin I didn’t notice the cars in the driveway until the door opened and it was not James.

“Can I help you?” the big forward for the Pittsburgh Penguins, Jordan Staal asked me as he eyed Austin.

“Can I talk to James?” I asked and tried to look around him.

“If you are here trying to tell James he is a father,”

“No, I live next door” I say exasperated “Can I please come in?” I ask and try to soothe the still crying baby.

“Whatever” he says and moves out of my way. I move towards the living room to find it filled with many of the Pittsburgh Penguins. If it were any other time I would be embarrassed and blushing but I am at my wits end and don’t care.

I walk towards James and he meets me half way and takes Austin out of my arms without a single word. I know in the back of my mind everyone’s eyes are on us but I don’t care as of right now. I watch as James calms him down and bounces him to sleep.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” I whisper yell at him but all he does is shrug his shoulders.

“Do you have something you need to tell us?” Kris Letang asks as he looks between us and everyone else is too.

“Everyone this is Lex, my neighbor and this is her brother Austin” he says and looks at me “Lex, this is everyone but I don’t need to introduce you to anyone” he says with a smirk.

“No I don’t think that is necessary” I say and look around the room.

“And why is that?” Jordan asks

“I have lived in Pittsburgh my whole life and I can name every single one of you and your numbers” I say proudly. I am met with silence and staring.

“You girl who James call on bus?” I hear and look over to Evgeni Malkin sitting on the couch.

“Yes” I say

“I like you” he says with a nod

“Thanks” I say with a blush

“Well if Geno likes you then I guess you are okay” Pascal Dupuis says with his French accent and a shrug. Everyone else turns back to the TV and leaves us alone.

“How long was he crying?” he asks me as we move to the kitchen.

“About half an hour” I say and run a hand through my hair.

“You could have come over sooner”

“I thought he would tire himself out” I say and run a hand over his growing hair. “Jordan thought I was here to tell you that you had a kid” I say with a laugh

He laughed “That would be horrible”

“Having a kid?” I ask as my heart sinks

“No! I meant having a kid with some random woman and having her show up out of nowhere.” He said “I do want kids some day with hopefully my wife”

“Oh that’s a good plan” I say with a nod

"Do you?" he asks

“Want kids?” I ask and he nods “I think so, but not for a couple of years. I want to wait for Austin to grow up a little”

“That makes sense” he says with a nod “Do you want me to come over and put him down?”

“I think I can take him” I say and try to take him out of James’ arms but he whimpers. “Well maybe not” I say

“Hang on let me tell the guys real quick” he says and disappears to the living room. I wait by the door for him and he joins me soon.

We are making our way to my house but something is off. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine” he says with a tight smile.

I waited until we had Austin in his crib and were walking down the stairs to ask again.

“Are you sure you are okay? You seem angry” I say

“I’m fine, my teammates are just idiots” he says shaking his head

“What did they say? Was it about Austin?”

“No it wasn’t about Austin”

“Was it about me?” I ask

“It was nothing”

“So it was about me. What did they say?” I ask

“Some of them wanted your number” he says angrily

“And the problem with that is?”

“They shouldn’t talk about you like you are some piece of meat” he says

“It’s not like I am taken” I say with a shrug

“I don’t want you going out with any of them” he says and takes a step closer to me.

“And why not James?” I ask

Instead of answering me he takes that last step cornering me against the door and we are now chest to chest. He slowly puts a hand on my neck and brushes his thumb across my cheek.

“I can’t get you out of my head, you are slowly taking over my mind, and it would kill me to see you with one of them” he says in a whisper.

“I don’t want to go out with any of them” I whisper back

“And why not?” he ask as he stares at my lips

“Because they aren’t you” I barely got out before he is kissing me.