Save Yourself, I'll Hold Them Back

It was a week later when they heard the banging on the front door and the knob turning. Gerard sprinted to the door, in hopes that it was Mikey on the other side. He almost ripped the wood blocking the door off but stopped himself and looked through the peep hole only to see one of the more gruesome walkers in the bunch. He sighed and knew they had to relocate, and fast.

“Everyone up! Get up! We gotta scram!” Gerard announced desperately as he ran through the large flat banging on walls and collecting his things.

Gerard opened the door to the bedroom he left Frank in that morning and blew out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. He knew Frank was safe and sound, but seeing him curled around the messy blankets was reassuring. He had let himself get close to the man he met almost a month prior, he cared deeply for him and it was because of him he hadn’t blown his head off in the past week. Things in the apartment hadn’t been going so well lately. Bob had taken it upon himself to name himself second in charge, or more accurately co-leader. The two disagreed on almost everything and it was rather tense in the house, but when a walker climbed the fire escape and nearly made a meal out of the seven renegades, they finally agreed that they needed to get the fuck out. Gerard was beginning to feel trapped in his safe haven as more and more walkers encased them in the four walls, and suicide was almost the only way out. Almost.

Frank had convinced him to carry on one night about three days ago when he was found in the bathroom with a pistol in his mouth. Frank instilled in him just enough hope to hold out for a few more days. Frank admitted to him that he needed Gerard to live. He needed someone he could trust, someone who knew almost everything there was to know about this world, someone who could get him through this hell in one piece and that someone was Gerard. He wasn’t sure what his feelings for Gerard were at that moment, he wasn’t sure if it was heard of to feel anything but fear in a zombie apocalypse, but he knew he cared far too much for the man with the raven hair.

“Gerard, what’s wrong what is it? Did a walker get in?” Frank bolted up in bed as soon as he heard the door slam into the wall. He scrambled to grab his clothing that was in a pile on the ground near the foot of the bed as he prepared himself for the worst.

“No but they will if we wait too long! God fuck, what did I tell you about being prepared at all times! Jesus. Get your damn clothes on!” Gerard growled frustrated as he pulled his hair and walked out of the room to make sure everyone was preparing to leave.

“It wouldn’t have fucking happened if you hadn’t fucked my brains out last night!” Frank retorted, in a frustrated tone, out the door and heard Gerard growl in frustration as he banged on the walls again.

Once everyone had packed as much as they could and the banging on the door had subsided, they all congregated in the front room to listen to the plan Gerard was supposed to have. He didn’t though, and he was a frantic mess as he pulled his hair and paced back and forth in front of them. He knew, as their only hope, that he needed to be on top of this. He needed to have an escape route, a new place to hide, anything. And yet he had nothing.

“So, what’s the plan, Stan?” Cass drawled out as she bit absent mindedly on her fingernail.

“I don’t fucking have one, fuck.” Gerard spat back as he plopped down on the couch next to Frank and looked up to Bob in hopes that he had one. He only shrugged and shook his head. Frank tried hard to soothe Gerard by rubbing small circles on his back, but it didn’t help much. Gerard shrugged him off and continued to pull out his beautiful locks of hair as he rested his head in his hands. Frank was only slightly hurt by his actions, and tried his hardest to understand how Gerard was feeling.

“Well, there’s a deserted Wal Mart down a few blocks, it’s far enough out of the hot zone that we’ll be safe for awhile.” Johnny suggested after a moment of all of them pondering.

“That’ll work.” Gerard perked up at the thought. A Wal Mart. Wal Marts had everything! Food, water, clothes, guns, knives, everything. “That’ll be perfect actually.”

“Yeah but how do we get out of here, Einstein.” Bob said in an annoyed tone. He was unimpressed with the way Gerard had been running things lately. He knew what had happened three days ago in the bathroom, but no one else did, and he was certain Gerard was a ticking bomb and it was only a matter of time before he blew his brains out and Bob could run this congregation the right way.

“How many are in the hallway?” Gerard questioned quickly and pointed to the door. He jumped up ready to check himself, but Penny beat him to it.

“There’s uh… There’s a lot, Gee.” She sighed and took a step back from the door. Obviously just walking out of the building was too good to be true.

“What’s a lot, give me a goddamn number, fuck.” Gerard growled out as he took two big strides to the door to look out the peephole himself, pushing Penny out of his way angrily in the process.

“I don’t know Gerard, like fifty! Fuck, don’t be a dick right now! We’re all scared we fucking get it okay!” Penny snapped as she shoved Gerard back, feeling the anger and frustration of the situation building in her chest.

“Shit, I’m sorry. Goddamnit! There are at least thirty walkers on this floor alone.” Gerard sighed, the guilt of actually laying his hands on his friend settling in his stomach. She was only trying to help and he let his dissatisfaction get the best of him.

“I have an idea,” Jenny piped up from her spot in the corner of the room, “But I’m sure none of you are going to like it.”

“At least it’s an idea.” Bob grumbled and sent a glare in Gerard’s direction.

“Let’s hear it, Jen.” Gerard said encouragingly as he kneeled down next to her to goad the words out of her mouth.

“We need something to get them out of the area for a few minutes. A distraction…” She trailed off, hoping they’d understand where she was going.

“No, Jenny. No one is going to risk their life by leading those monsters off.” Johnny almost shouted as he stood up to make his point.

He strode over to his sister and put a hand on her shoulder. Call it twin telepathy, or just being able to read expressions well, but John knew exactly what his sister was thinking. She wanted out. She didn’t want to live this life anymore, and she’d subject herself to turning into a walker or being eaten alive just so she’d die, but die with the cause of helping the others escape. Jenny was the kind of person who wanted to die with dignity, and even if it meant turning into one of the undead, at least she’d die with the knowledge that she’d ultimately helped someone else survive.

“Jenny… God no, please don’t… I can’t lose my sister, please.” Johnny begged once he saw the first tear escape her eye. He embraced her quickly and let a sob rack his body.

“I have to John. I’ve made up my mind; any way we get out of here I’m ending it. I might as well go out with a cause.” Jenny whimpered out as she hugged her twin and let the tears flow freely.

“Jenny, you don’t have to do this.” Gerard declared, though he knew she did if they wanted to get out alive.

“Yes I do Gerard. I’ve made up my mind.” She snapped and wiped the tears from her eyes with the back of her hand.

The next few minutes were used to devise a plan and an escape route. Johnny suggested they go to the roof and jump a few buildings over, where the mass of walkers was not as dense. Jenny would stay behind and go out the fire escape and draw the attention away from them by making as much noise as possible. She was offered a gun to use in case she didn’t want to die by the hands of the walkers, but she declined saying she might as well become one of those who ruled the ending world. They all made their way up to the roof and examined the crowd, the route in which they should take, and how far the jumps were, which, at most, were ten feet. That was where they said their final goodbyes to their mousy haired friend. Tears were shed, jokes to lighten the mood were made (mostly by Cass,) and embraces lasted longer than necessary, but it was important to the group as over the past few months they had come to love each other as if they were all family. Even Bob was spotted with a few tears streaking his face.

Johnny jumped first, landing with about three feet to spare and shrugged like it was nothing. Gerard encouraged Cass to go next because she was feeling really apprehensive about the whole idea. She wasn’t fit enough to live in this world, she knew, and she hated heights with a passion. She said she’d go after Bob, just so there was someone stronger on the other side (flirt intended) in case she only grazed the edge. Bob flew over with ease, then Frank just because he wanted to get it over with. Then it was Cass’s turn. She took a deep breath and stepped back a couple feet to get a good running start. She propelled herself across the alley and felt herself fall rather rapidly. She was scared and screaming and barely hanging onto the ledge of the building with her fingertips.

“Cass!!” She heard Penny screech from the other side and tried as hard as she could to hoist herself up the brick wall a little.

“Cassie, I’ve got you, I’ve fucking got you, just hold the fuck on.” Bob bellowed to her as she felt thick fingers clasp around her wrists.

Bob used all his strength to pull Cass up and over the ledge. The force of his pulls and the way he distributed his weight sent them falling backwards, Cass landing on top of the blonde haired man. She allowed herself to let out a sob of relief into his shoulder and gripped onto him with all her strength, feeling like if she were to let go she’d still be plummeting to her death. It shocked everyone who saw when Bob wrapped his arms around Cassie and held her as close to him as possible. He never showed that kind of affection, especially after risking himself to save another.

“I’ve got you, Cass. I won’t let go. I’ve got you.” He whispered reassuringly as he stroked her hair and kissed her head comfortingly.

Cass broke down his walls and she didn’t even realize it until that moment.