So On and So Forth

Self Esteem and Other Lies
In high school, everyone is always trying to sell you this idea of “self esteem.” I put it in quotes because I don't want to give that phrase any real power. Self esteem is a big myth created by guidance counselors and health teachers to make it seem like bullies are actually more afraid of you than you are of them. However, I, like hundreds of other previously bullied teens, know that bullies are not snakes or racoons or that man with the eye patch who lives in front of the library. They actually have more “self esteem” than anyone else. I can't believe I just used that phrase in a sentence. I can't even talk about it anymore. Moving on.
And I already know what you're thinking: “God ANOTHER story about bullying? I just finished The Misfits!” Well congratulations on finishing Misfits, it's one of my favorites, but don't use that tone with me! I will turn this story around! This isn't a book about bullying I swear. It just played such a major part in my life that I couldn't just leave it out. It's kind of like that aunt you don't want to invite to your wedding (you know, because of what happened last Christmas with the rum and the Bengay), but you really have to. This is why I must include bullying in my tale.
I think the first time I was bullied I was in the 7th grade. We were walking inside from gym class and 2 boys were behind me talking*. I heard very little of their conversation, but then I heard one of them call me a queer.
I was stunned. I would never have the nerve to say anything like that to anyone’s face. Behind their back is a different story.
I was so surprised I didn't even know what to say so I turned around, laughed like someone who just murdered his mailman, and kept walking.
From this point on, it was pretty much open season for me. Everyone and their mother thought I was the school boy version of Boo Radley. I wore jean shorts, Chuck Taylors, and witty T-Shirts that no one but I understood. I liked theater and poetry, and I was disgustingly fascinated with New York City, which I still am to this day.
I think those 2 boys in the hallway were the main reason that I didn't really open up to anyone in middle school. I really can't remember having more than 2 friends, and I wasn't even really close with them. I'm sorry guys. I hate getting this grim almost as much as I hate restaurants that have menus without pictures.
The following is a list of the worst things I've been told about bullies:
1. Their lives are probably really tough.
2. Out of all the people at school, they chose to make fun of you.
3. They'll probably go off into the world and fail.**
4. Their mothers obviously didn't love them. And the worst one of all...
5. They're probably just doing it because they like you.
There is no real excuse for bullying that I can think of without sounding like an enabler. So I won't think of one. People who have rough lives have no time to pick on their weaker peers. Bullies don’t usually pick just one victim. It's more like a tidal wave than a sniper. Bullying doesn't build character, it actually destroys it. I could sit here and disprove these myths all day but I won't. All I will say is this. It truly does get better. People like Dan Savage have been saying it for years, but now I'm saying it, so LISTEN UP. Take it from someone who has been bullied almost his whole life. I'm at a point now where I'm finally happy. I learned to surround my self with people who not only accept me, but embrace me for who I am. You're almost there too. Just hold on.
*Just so you know, one of those boys is now a teen father who everyone calls “foot” because he smells like a Honey Boo Boos “Frito feet.” Who would sleep with a guy named Foot? No clue. As for the other guy, he ended up going to CLASS with me and we actually became pretty good friends. JUST KIDDING! He was arrested and expelled for having weed in his locker. TO THE VICTOR GO THE SPOILS!
**I'm pretty sure that 85% of bullies end up playing for the NFL and the other 15% become politicians. These are just guesstimates...