Our Version of Events

The day seemed to just drag on and on, and come three o' clock I felt absolutely exhausted. All I could think of was how I was slowly but surely falling out of love with Shawn. I was kicking myself for ever letting my parents bully me into marrying him; I felt trapped and it was all my own doing, but I was looking for anyone, anyone, to blame but myself.
I snapped out of my day dream when my phone started to loudly vibrate on my desk, and I sighed heavily when I saw Shawn's number flash up on the screen.

"Hi Shawn."

My voice had come out wearier than I had intended, but he didn't seem to notice. Everything else appeared to be more important than me lately.

"Avery, I need to go out of town for a few days, I've just been handed a case last minute. Where's my passport."

Are you fucking kidding me? No "sorry it's late notice and I can't say goodbye properly", no "I know it's our wedding anniversary at the end of the week", just him asking where his goddamn passport is.
I grit my teeth together, counting to ten in my head before I replied.

"It's in the safe, Shawn, where it's always been."

"Thanks. I should be home on Thursday, I'll see you then. Love you."

I merely hummed in response before I hung up, his hollow I love you swirling around my head. Was he feeling as trapped as I was? Was he fucking someone else on the side?

Did I even care?

I ran my hands through my hair and let my gaze wonder out the window. From what I could see, all members of faculty had already gone home while I was sitting here trying to force myself to correct midterms, not wanting to go back to the large, empty house that I had to call a home.
I had to talk to someone about this, it was driving me insane, I couldn't even sit still anymore. I stood up and closed over the classroom door while simultaneously dialing my sister's number. It rang a few times before she answered.

"Hey Dianne."

"Avery, long time no speak," she laughed down the phone, making me close over my eyes as guilt washed over me.

I was close with my sister, but every time we spoke my parents always came up in conversation and I hated having to hear how they still considered me their "problem child."

"I know, I know, I'm sorry. I've been really busy with work and...stuff."

"Stuff?"

I heard a door close over on her end of the line, and I could tell she was sitting herself down and was about to grill me about it.

"What's wrong?"

I didn't respond straight away, I just chewed on my bottom lip and tried to formulate the words to reflect my feelings.

"I don't think I love Shawn anymore," I mumbled softly.

I felt like I was betraying him even by saying those words, and my stomach knotted with guilt as I waited for my sister to reply.

"What happened?" she finally responded, and I could practically hear the cogs of her brain grinding on the other end of the phone.

"Things have been going south for a while, Dianne," I sighed as I leaned back in my chair, pinching the bridge of my nose between my thumb and index in frustration,
"He is just obsessed with work. He is always in the office, he's forever canceling plans on me and he acts like he couldn't give a shit when it's obvious that it's upsetting me. And...We haven't had sex in months. I've initiated it numerous times but he's always too tired to do anything. At first I tried to understand it but now...it's getting kinda embarrassing that he doesn't want to even touch me."

She was quiet for a while before I heard her sighing.

"Avery, to me it sounds like you've hit the seven year itch. You've been married to him since you were eighteen, you were married all through college when usually girls use those years to experiment and basically get the slut out of their system, but you've always had a husband to come home to. Things have just gotten too routine for you both, it's normal. Try and spice things up a little."

"How?" I groaned,
"We used to have an amazing sex life and now every time I try to get back to that he shrugs off my advances."

"Insist he takes a weekend off work, that way he can't say he's too tired. You're his wife, tell him that you're starting to grow restless in the marriage. That's the last thing he'll want to hear."

I swallowed thickly, knowing I was an idiot for ever doing anything with Evan.

"Do you think that'll work?"

"Try it. See what happens."

We chatted for a while about our jobs and partners before we ended our conversation. I fiddled with the cover off my cell for a few minutes while I thought about everything she had said and finally figured that I should just bite the bullet with this one. I punched in Shawn's cell number and waited impatiently for him to answer.

"When are you home?" I asked the second he answered.

"I should be back by Thursday night. Why?"

"I'd really like it if you took a break from the office for the weekend."

I grimaced when I heard him laugh. Not a mocking laugh, not at all, but a genuine laugh, like it was so fucking funny that his wife would want him home for a weekend for once.

"Avery, I'm neck deep in paper work. Now is not a good time for me to take time off."

"It's our wedding anniversary this week, Shawn. I want you take at least one night off. We never do anything together anymore."

"I can't, I really can't. Besides, we'll have plenty more anniversaries."

"Will we?" I snapped before I could stop myself,
"Because I'm starting to grow pretty fucking tired of this. You're always in the office, we barely speak to one another, we haven't had sex in I don't know how long-"

"Avery," he spoke my name like it was a warning,
"I am not having this conversation over the phone."

"Well it's the only time I can ever get a hold of you these days. I didn't sign on for this shit when I married you."

"Well then, you should have probably been more careful with your birth control because then neither of us would be in this mess, would we?"

My mouth dropped open in shock at his words sunk in. He had never spoken to me like that before. not in all the years we were married. It took me a few moments to get my mouth working again, and I surprised even myself at how steady my voice was.

"Don't even bother coming home, Shawn. I'm done."