Peace, Love, and Manson

We make our way to the party after we clean Ramona up from vomiting on herself and the cabin floor. She’s sober now but she swears she’s not drinking tonight. As for me, I don’t know what will happen. I’ve never had a drink or smoking anything or have done anything remotely rebellious. I guess tonight will be the night to change that.

When we get in the cabin, everyone is sitting in a circle. A smell of something unknown but extremely pungent fills the air. People are passing around a bong.

A few of the kids at my school smoked marijuana, but just a select few. They were known as the rebels and everyone kind of stayed away from them. One of them ended up going to jail and I think a few of them got expelled for other reasons. One girl got pregnant and had to leave school. She’s had the baby now. Rumor is that the parents have full custody and she ran away to some camp similar to this.

“Clementine!” Phoenix gets up from the circle, looking too excited to see me. He realizes this and clears this throat, straightening himself out, “Sit down.”

I sit down next to him and see that the bong is getting closer, dangerously close to me. I start freaking out just a little bit. I’m going to look so stupid, not knowing what to do. I look across the circle and see Arthur hitting it with no problem, so I should be fine. I’m a little bit uncomfortable watching my brother get high, but I guess I should get used to it.

Ramona sits a few people away from me and it’s comforting to see her freaking out slightly also. She keeps biting her lip and pushing her hair back. But I don’t know if those are nervous twitches or she’s flirting with the guy with the dread locks sitting next to her.

“You’re nervous?” Phoenix asks as the person next to me hands me the bong and pats me on the back.

I nod. It’s definitely obvious.

“Don’t be,” He smiles his smile that makes me melt. He shows me how to use it and I take a few hits reluctantly. It doesn’t do much for me but I decide to give it a few minutes. I sit there and listen to the music for a few minutes, looking around at all the people with closed eyes and swaying heads, including my brother and Ramona.

Phoenix passes me a beer and I crack it open. The sound is so clear. I can hear each individual oxygen bubble popping and fizzing and spewing the cold brew. I swish the beer around in the bottle and I can feel it through the glass.

“Woah,” I turn to Phoenix. I feel like I’m in a movie. I’m moving in slow motion. The vowels melt together into the most beautiful word.

I’m suddenly hearing, seeing, and feeling what everyone else in the room is feeling, seeing, and hearing. I can feel my eyes closing and my head begins to sway in time to the music, the most beautiful music in the world. I can feel it reverberating in my veins and through my forearms. I pass the bong to Phoenix.

The bong travels slowly around the circle again and the people within it become more and more familiar and similar to me. I feel like I’m connected to everyone in the room and we’re all connected to this higher being. I feel like I can do anything. The bong gets to me again and I melt into this delicious state even farther, becoming one with everything around me.

I’m on my seventh beer when the bong gets passed to me a fourth time. I skip my turn and pass it over to Phoenix, who passes it along to the next person. We’re both what you would call “shitfaced” but he’s still a bit more stable than me. I know I’m going to get sick and pay for this in the morning, so I ask him to take me back to my cabin.

The cool night air hits my skin and I sigh, letting the clean air clear out my lungs and head. I feel like I’m coming down a little from my high, but the beer is just starting to kick in, making me stumble and blurring my vision. I don’t like it.

“So, how was your initiation?” Phoenix asks.

“Lovely. How is babysitting me going so far?” I can hear my words slurring and I hate it. I think my father has ruined the whole fun of alcohol for me. It just brings back bad and uncomfortable reminders.

“Tell me more about yourself, Clementine.”

“Why?”

“Because I like you and I think you’re interesting. And I think you’re different than any other hippie chick here.”

“Well. I’m sixteen physically but much older mentally. I guess I’m what you’d call a nerd at my school and everyone thinks I’m annoying but it doesn’t bother me because I know I’m much more mature and intelligent than them. I’m named after the kind of orange because it was my grandma’s favorite. I’m still afraid of the dark.”

“I’m twenty. I just graduated from some super prestigious college. I majored in English. I don’t like birds, they scare me. I guess I was in the kind of rebel group in high school, but I never did drugs until I came here. I’ve never had a girlfriend. I like tea, and I know that’s such a British poser thing to say. I’d like to think I won’t die alone.”

By this time we’re sitting down on my bunk, sitting Indian style and looking at each other. I smile at him and he smiles at me. God, I really like him. Don’t mess this up, Tiney, don’t mess this up. We press our foreheads together.

“I want to fuck you so badly right now, but I don’t think this is a good time,” Phoenix whispers slowly, “You’re drunk and I’m drunk and I like you too much to see this go down the toilet.”

All I can say is “okay”.

He kisses me on the forehead and I hit the pillow in a sickly sleep.