In the End

I doesn't use to look back. it's pretty hard to look back. but in this situation I feel like I have to do it. it's my plight to look back for me and my other half laying in the hospital bed. I'm holding his hand tight. I'm waiting for the end.
I looked down at his face. his eyes were closed. it hasn't happened yet. somehow it was good.... somehow I just wanted this painful moment to leave me.

the first time I saw him was at a party home at Jinxx and Sammi. somehow Sammi had got to know him somehow. he was dancing around with almost every girl at the party. even Sandra got her turn with him on the dance floor.
that night I didn't got to talk to him... at the party. but when I went to go home and walked down and outside the block I saw him leaned against the wall with a cigarette in his hand.
"you know it's unhealthy to smoke?" I asked.
"I've seen you smoke too don't say anything" he said "but yes I do and I'm trying to stop" he sighed and looked up at me with his adorable big brown eyes.
"I can't stop" I said. "and I don't see a reason."
"why?" he asked
"it calms me when I smoke" I said. "why do you smoke?"
"I've got addicted to it. I can't stop" he sighed and I saw sadness in his eyes. I promised myself I won't let that sadness come back on his face again.
"don't worry. I can help you. even if I don't wanna stop then I know how to do it" I said smiling.
"great!" he smiled. "I think I'm going home now. then you can tell me about it it seams like you're going home too?"
"I am" I said.
we walked home together and I told him how to stop smoking. and when we saw each other again he was almost done. I was glad I'd helped him. that was when he joined Black Veil Brides.

how long have I been here now? about half an hour?
the doctors told me they couldn't do anything. it was too late. they couldn't save him.
I thought of all these times he'd been there for me

"what's wrong Andy?" Ashley asked.
"it's... it's my grandpa" I sniffed.
"what's wrong with him?" he asked placing his hand on my sholder.
"well... mom just called me... she told that... he is... dead" I cried.
"oh Andy" Ashley pulled me into a tight hug "it's okay... do you wanna go home?"
"no... I can't go home... all these countries we haven't been in yet..." I cried.
"we can always continue the tour later. you have to go home Andy" he said looking into my eyes.
"o-okay..." I sniffed and he hugged me again.
he was with me at the funeral too. I couldn't pick Juliet. she doesn't understand me as well as Ashley.J Juliet was there too but I didn't kept her by my side. she was free to walk around which she did alot. she was always talking to someone. she is not good at understand people's feelings. but Ashley always stayed by my side, he was calm, he was talking to me about everything that could calm me and make it easier. he fully understood me. and when another sad person came to us he always comforted them.

half a year after, about christmas I got a call from Matt.
"hi Andy ehm... I don't know how to say this but... you remember that Juliet went over at me last night?" he asked.
"yeah. why?" I asked nervously. has something happened to my Dragonfly?
"well... she got drunk and then... we... fucked" he admit.
"how do you know?" I asked.
"well... we were both naked and later on I found the condom... I'm sorry Andy" he sighed. Matt knew me just as well as Ashley. and he know that so many girls has cheated on me. and now it has happened once again.
I sighed "it's okay Matt. just go on ahead" I hung up and started crying.
shortly after Ashley called me.
"h-hello?" I cried.
"hey Andy... what's wrong?" Ashley asked.
"well... Juliet... ha-has cheated o-on me... w-with Matt" I cried.
"okay I'm coming" he said.
"no it's okay" I cried.
"it's ont Andy I can hear that now I'm coming and you can't stop me" he hung up and 20 minutes after he knocked on the door. he spend 3 days staying in the apartment just for comforting me. then my parents arived and took over. but that was when I realize I was in love with Ashley.

then the time came when Ashley couldn't be there for me anymore. when I had to be there for him for once in our life.
we were on tour again and it was night after a show. Ashley had been out the city for a while and hasn't come back yet. I started to worry but din't thought much about it. he used to handle everything. he was probably just home at some slut for sleeping.
I got to sleep but I woke up early in the morning by hearing my phone calling.
"Andy Biersack?" I asked answering the call.
"Andy... come and get me" I heard Ashley cry.
"where are you and what's wrong?" I asked.
"I don't know. an old building somewhere... I've got kidnapped... there is a man... he has tied me to the bed... and... I think... he's gona... rape me..." he cried
"how can you call me then?" I asked
"I got one of my hands free..." Andy please come and get me" he cried.
"okay I'm coming" I hung up, got out of bed, got dressed quickly and ran out to try to find Ashley. I ran to the poor part of the town and I was lucky. I ran passed a huge gray building and when I did that I heard a loud scream.
"NO PLEASE STOP!!!" it was Ashley I knew it. only he could scream THAT much like a girl.
I ran inside the guilding and inside the room where they were. I saw a huge blonde man lay on top of Ashley who was tied to the bed. now with both of his hands.
"YOU DARE TO DO THAT! LET HIM GO!" I growled.
the blondie looked up at me and smirked. "well another to fuck..."
"hell no!" I growled, ran over to him and pushed him away from (my) Ashley. I got Ashley free, picked up his clothes and ran out. carrying him to the hotel.
"are you okay?" I asked the crying Ashley in my arms.
"no... I'll never be... I want to die..." he cried.
"no please don't die. I loves you Ashley trust me. I loves you you're my everything I swear" did I just said that? it wasn't ment to come out but there the words was and I'm sure he has heard them.
"d-do you really?" he looked up at me surprised.
"I'm sorry it wasn't ment to come out like that" I said quickly
"sadly" he sighed. "I was about to say that I feel the same way" he sniffed.
"do you? I thought you didn't I thought you were straight?" I said.
"no I've always loved you. since we met the first time" he said.
then I leaned down and kissed his lips gently. it was so nice. I loved him and he loved me back it couldn't be better.

then we were together and we've been until now. this day. now when Ashley, my Ashley, was dying on the hospital and no-one could do anything to help it.
now to what made him end up here like this.

Ashley and I were driving home from Ohio from visiting my parents. we were already in the city and close to be home but when we drived around the last corner I didn't saw the other car... or he didn't saw me. anyway the car his ours in Ashley's side and he end up unconscious almost on my lap. he was bleeding from everywhere and his eyes were closed.
what felt like hours but were only 10 minutes came the ambulance. they took Ashley in and I got with them.
"we can't save him" the doctor said.
"isn't there any way?" I asked.
"no I'm sorry. he will not survive this" the doctor said.
so now we end up here. I was sitting next to my dying boyfriend and looking back at good and bad. the bad and sad things the rape that leaded to our relation ship.
suddenly I felt something move by my hand. I looked down. wasn't Ashley's hand laying by his side becore?. now it was laying on his hip?
I looked at his face. wasn't his cheeks a little red? they'd been white like the snow a few secents ago.
then he sighed and the brown eyes I'd never thought I'd see again opened.
"A-A-Andy?" he whispered.
"shh sweetheart don't speak. use your strenght to get better" I said placing a hand on his mouth.
a nurse and a docter came inside.
"is he dead now?" the doctor asked.
I looked down at Ashley who looked confused at me. "no I don't think he's gonna die. he has just woke up" I told them. they looked down at Ashley and smiled.
"well then it seams like we can do something. he's gonna survive" the doctor said.
I guess I was the most happy guy right now. I thought I was about to lose my true love forever but now he was alive.
"I love you Ashley" I smiled
"I love you too" he whispered