Never Say Goodbye

"Are you sure that you want to do this?" Kurt asked as the stood outside of the school. The bell had already rung, so there were no students around, which was a blessing in itself. Kurt wanted to take going through the halls slowly with Blaine, give him time to adjust and hopefully remember.

Blaine shifted nervously beside him, so Kurt reached out to take his hand, giving it a light, supportive squeeze.

"We don't have to do this if you're not ready," Kurt said softly.

"No, I'm ready," Blaine replied, taking a deep, calming breath.

"Ok," Kurt sighed, opening the door for them to pass through.

Being back in McKinley again felt weird. Though he had only left it months ago, it now felt foreign to him, like he didn't belong there anymore.

Because I don't, he thought subconsciously. I belong in New York.

Not without Blaine, he internally argued with himself. He needs me here with him. New York will have to wait.

Blaine was having an almost similar experience, though in a very different way. Everything around him felt foreign and new. Walking down the locker lined hallway brought back flashes of what had happened at his school, flashes of the attack...

Blaine breathing started to quicken, his heart racing as it pounded against his chest. He couldn't do this. He couldn't be back here, not in this environment, not where there were guys that would beat him up because he was different, because he was gay.

Blaine suddenly felt his hand being lightly squeezed and a part of the tension left his body. He smiled gratefully at Kurt, who was looking at him with big, concerned eyes, those beautiful, glasz eyes...

Blaine suddenly turned away, his heart pounding for a different reason now. Why did Kurt make him feel like this? Kurt had said that they had been boyfriends, but a piece of Blaine still couldn't believe that that was true. He had never had a boyfriend before. How could he know if Kurt was telling him the truth?

But Cooper said it was true, so it must be, right? he thought to himself. His brows furrowed with confusion as he tried to sort through his confusing thoughts.

"We can go if you're not ready yet," Kurt said softly, pulling Blaine out of his thoughts. "They will understand if you're not ready to see them yet." Blaine blinked with surprise for a second before he realized what Kurt was taking about. He thought that Blaine was nervous about meeting the Glee Club members. Kurt hadn't allowed any of them to come visit because he wanted Blaine to have the chance to settle in and get used to his situation before he started to reintroduce him to others.

At least, that's what Kurt told Blaine.

Secretly, Kurt had hoped that Blaine would remember everything before he had to bring him before the Glee Club. He was afraid of how Blaine was going to react to everyone, especially those who knew him so well like Artie, Sam, Tina, and Brittany. Kurt didn't want them to have to experience the same heartbreak that he went through when Blaine didn't recognize him.

Kurt also had a second reason.

He wanted to be the one to bring back Blaine's memory and he was kind of afraid that someone at the school would bring it back instead of him. Kurt knew that that was selfish of him to think, because he should be thankful for any way that would restore Blaine's memory, but yet he still couldn't help but hope that he would be the one to bring Blaine's memory back.

Since I'm the one who caused him to lose it, the thought unwillingly popped into his mind.

"I can do this," he heard Blaine mumble to himself as they continued their trek down the hallway.

Instead of taking Blaine straight to the choir room, where every Glee club member was most likely waiting for them, Kurt took him to the next place at the school where they had shared so many memories.

The auditorium.

Kurt heard Blaine gasp softly beside him as they entered the room. Blaine's eyes seemed to sparkle as he looked around, his lips parting with awe as he took in everything.

"Last year, you played Tony from West Side Story on that stage," Kurt said as they walked towards it. "You weren't going to take the part because I wanted it, but you were way better suited for the part. You wowed me with every performance."

Blaine opened his mouth to argue but Kurt quickly cut him off.

"I know that you don't believe that you can sing," Kurt sighed. "But you really can. Ask anyone in the Glee club. I've heard that you became the new Rachel when we left."

"Rachel... is the one living in New York, right?" Blaine asked, tilting his head slightly as he tried to remember what Kurt had told him. "You... lived together."

"Yes, that's her," Kurt smiled. "She really wants to come see you, whenever you feel ready. She said that she already has her bag packed and is waiting on the call." Kurt gently took Blaine's hand in both of his. "I know that this is going to be hard and confusing for you, but I'm going to be right here with you, every step of the way. I promise." Blaine just nodded, turning away slightly to look out over all of the empty seats.

"So I really sang in front of that many people?" Blaine asked hesitantly.

"Yes," Kurt nodded, smiling proudly. "And you were sensational."

"Huh," Blaine mused, turning back to Kurt. "Alright, I'm ready to see them."

"Okay," Kurt replied, slowly turning and leading Blaine back out of the auditorium. He didn't notice when Blaine glanced back with a thoughtful look on his face. Maybe those kids were wrong. Maybe his parents were wrong. Maybe he could sing.

It seemed that they arrived at the choir room all too soon. Blaine's heart started pounding madly again as they stopped outside the door.

"Ready?" Kurt asked, his hand on the doorknob.

"As I'll ever be," Blaine nodded, taking a deep breath. Kurt gave him one last hard look, debating whether or not they should just turn around and leave now, but then sighed and slowly opened the door.

A loud chorus of "Welcome back, Blaine!" met them in the doorway. Blaine blinked with surprise as he looked at all of the unfamiliar faces smiling at him from around the room. A short, Asian girl was instantly at his side, shooting her arms out as if to hug him, but stopped cold at the dark glare from Kurt.

"Blaine," Kurt said calmly, though his eyes stayed trained warily on the girl. "This is Tina Cohen-Chang."

"We've really missed you here, Blaine," Tina smiled brightly at him. "This place just seems a little bit duller without you here."

"Thank you?" Blaine replied, lifting a surprised eyebrow.

By now, more people were gathered around them, none of whom Blaine recognized. There was a guy with glasses in a wheelchair named Artie, a pretty, bright-eyed girl named Marley, someone named either Wade or Unique (this confused Blaine), a guy with dreads named Joe, a bubbly girl named Sugar, a snarky cheerleader named Kitty (really? Her parents named her Kitty?), another odd, blonde cheerleader named Brittany, and two guys who introduced themselves as Jake and Ryder. And last, but not least, was him.

He had light, blondish brown hair and larger-than-normal lips. His v-neck shirt dropped down to expose a tanned chest and his toned body etched into the fabric, revealing what Blaine guessed was some pretty sexy abs.

Hello there, Blaine grinned, his heartbeat quickening as he took in the blond's appearance.

Blaine couldn't help but stare in awe at him as he came over and, ignoring Kurt's glares, gave Blaine a tight hug.

"We've missed you, bro!" he exclaimed, smiling widely. "I'm missed having the other half of Team Blam around!"

"Team Blam?" Blaine laughed lightly.

"Yeah, Blaine and Sam," the blond, whom Blaine now assumed was Sam, grinned. "We won the Presidency Campaign together."

"Presidency Campaign?" this was becoming too much for Blaine to believe.

"Yep," Sam nodded eagerly. "You ran for School Class President and won and I became the Vice President. Team Blam, for the win!"

"You never told me about this," Blaine said, turning back to Kurt.

"I, umm," Kurt blushed. "I didn't know that it was that important to know right away."

"Not that important?" Tina exclaimed. "Why of course it's important! Blaine is the voice of power right now! He gets to make all the decisions for the school population, like, for instance, the theme for Prom... Or organizing another dance that could maybe possibly be Sadie Hawkins themed and-"

"Tina!" Kurt exclaimed, cutting her off as he watched Blaine's eyes widen with horror.

"What did I- Oh!" Tina's eyes widened as well as she realized what she had done. "Blaine, I'm so sorry! I forgot about what happened!"

Blaine had started to shake with fear and his hands were trembling. Kurt grabbed Blaine by the shoulders and spun him around so that Blaine was forced to look into his eyes.

"Blaine, it's okay," Kurt said softly but firmly. "No one is going to hurt you. You're safe here. Everyone here cares about you and loves you just the way you are."

"We're here for you, bro," Sam chipped in softly. "If anyone wants to mess with you, they'll have to go through all of us first!"

"T-Thanks," Blaine attempted a shaky smile. He slowly started to stop trembling, so Kurt let go of his shoulders.

"You okay, Blaine?" Finn asked. He had been standing off to the side while everyone was reintroduced to Blaine, allowing them the chance to catch up since he was able to see Blaine anytime at home.

"Y-Yeah, I think so," Blaine nodded slowly.

"Good," Finn grinned. "Because we've got a special surprise for you." He motioned to the Glee club members to take their positions as Kurt guided Blaine over to one of the red, plastic chairs lined up facing the front of the room.

"We wanted to express how we feel about you and to let you know that we are here for you," Finn told Blaine. "And we felt that this song really captured everything that we wanted to say." Finn nodded to the piano player, whom Kurt said was named Brad and like never spoke, to start the music. Blaine took a deep breath as he sat back and let the music fill him.

When your day is long and the night

The night is yours alone

When you're sure you've had enough of this life, well hang on

Don't let yourself go

Everybody cries and everybody hurts sometimes

Sometimes everything is wrong

Now it's time to sing along

When your day is night alone (hold on, hold on)

If you feel like letting go (hold on)

When you think you've had too much of this life, well hang on

Everybody hurts

Take comfort in your friends.

Everybody hurts

Don't throw your hand. Oh, no

Don't throw your hand

If you feel like you're alone, no, no, no, you are not alone

If you're on your own in this life

The days and nights are long

When you think you've had too much of this life to hang on

Well, everybody hurts sometimes

Everybody cries

And everybody hurts sometimes

And everybody hurts sometimes

So, hold on, hold on

Hold on, hold on

Hold on, hold on

(Hold on, hold on)

Everybody hurts

You are not alone

During the performance, some of the words hit Blaine really hard. When you think you've had too much of this life to hang on. That line hit Blaine particularly hard for some reason. He could feel his chest starting to tighten and it became harder to breathe. They say that when you die, you see your life flash before your eyes. That was what it felt like when the memory flashed before him like a vision. He was standing on a chair, his hand holding something to his ear... a phone. And he was talking.

"And honestly, Kurt? I can't live without you... I don't want to live without you." His voice cracked into a sob. "I really wish that you had picked up, Kurt. I need you. I need you so badly right now. Kurt, I'm alone. So alone. I can't do this anymore..."

The vision suddenly jumped to him looking at the phone, another sob slipping from his lips, before he ended the call and threw the phone across the room.

Then he stepped off the chair.

Blaine suddenly felt like he was suffocating. He couldn't breathe. His throat felt like it was closing in on itself. He was going to die. He was going to die.

"Blaine!" Kurt's voice was filled with alarm and panic. Blaine's eyes shot open to find himself staring up at Kurt. "Blaine, are you okay?" Worry etched through Kurt's beautiful eyes. They were so pretty. Blaine reached his hand up, wanting to touch them, but stopped himself before he did, quickly shaking his head to clear his thoughts.

"What happened?" he asked as he slowly sat up. He was on the floor in front of the chairs with Kurt kneeling by his side and all of the other Glee club members gathered around above them.

"You started gasping for breath like a madman before falling on your face," Kitty very bluntly told him, inspecting her nails as she did so as if they were far more interesting than what had just happened.

"I-I saw..." Blaine shook his head, trying to clear his thoughts.

"What?" Kurt persisted softly. "What did you see?"

"I-I was on a chair... and I-I was talking... to you," Blaine replied slowly, looking at Kurt. "I said I couldn't live with out... and then I stepped off the chair... and then I couldn't breathe and I felt like I was going to die... Kurt, I thought I was going to die!" Blaine clucked at the front of Kurt's shirt as tears started to stream down his cheeks. "I don't want to die, Kurt. I don't want to die."

"Shhh, it's okay, Blaine," Kurt whispered softly, pulling him closer as he stroked his hair. "It's okay. You're not going to die. You're okay. I'm here."

The other Glee club members stood around awkwardly as they watched Blaine's mental breakdown, not sure of what they should do.

"Kurt, I'm sorry," Finn said softly. "I didn't think that he would react like that..."

"It's okay, Finn," Kurt replied, still stroking Blaine's hair as he gently rocked them back and forth. "The Doctor said that anything could trigger a memory, whether it be a person, a place, or even just a word. You would have had no idea that he would react to that song like this."

"Trigger a memory?" Tina asked softly. "What do you mean?"

"What Blaine saw was a memory," Kurt sighed. "It was the last thing that he did before... you know."

"Before he tried to play a real life version of Hangman," Kitty stated, still inspecting her nails.

"Kitty!" Jake exclaimed. "You shouldn't say things like that!"

"What?" Kitty scoffed. "The truth? Because that's what he did. He strung himself up like a-"

"Kitty!" the entire room exclaimed.

"I think that you should leave," Finn said coldly.

"Whatever," she rolled her eyes before heading towards the door. "I have better things to be doing anyways."

"I think that I should probably just take Blaine home," Kurt said softly once Kitty was gone. "He's not really in a good state to be back here right now. I'm sorry, guys. We'll try to come visit again once he's feeling better."

"Can we come visit him?" Tina asked eagerly.

"Maybe," Kurt replied slowly. "It all depends on when and how he's feeling at that point in time."

"Alright," Tina sighed dejectedly.

"Do you need help taking him back out to you vehicle?" Sam asked softly. Kurt was about to tell him no, but stopped himself and nodded instead. Sam was close friends with Blaine. How could Kurt deny him the chance to help his friend?

"Okay," Kurt nodded. "Help me get him up."

Together, they carefully got Blaine back on his feet again. Blaine refused to let go of Kurt's shirt, still burying his face in the fabric. All of Blaine's weight was pressed against Kurt, making it hard for him to stay balanced, so Sam moved to Blaine's side, placing one gentle hand on the small of his back and the other under one of his arms, supporting him and attempting to bear some of Blaine's weight himself.

"I'm sorry, guys," Kurt said softly as they headed for the door. "This wasn't how I had hoped today would go."

"It's okay, Kurt," Finn spoke up. "We understand how fragile of a state Blaine is in right now. I'm sorry that we had to help bring back such an unpleasant memory."

"I'm not," Kurt shook his head. "Though it's not pleasant, it is necessary for Blaine to know the truth. Even though it may not feel like it right now, he did need this. So thank you." Kurt paused in the doorway. "I'll see you at home, Finn." And, with a final nod to the rest of the room, they left.

The walk back to Kurt's Navigator was mostly silent and very awkward. The only sounds were those coming from Blaine; small, short sobs.

"I know that you said that this was necessary and all," Sam finally spoke up. "But I still can't help but feel terrible. That song was supposed to be comforting, to let him know that he's not alone and that he's going to get through this. I had no idea that it'd have such a negative impact on him.

"Like I said, though it was negative, it was necessary," Kurt replied softly. "He needs to get his memories back. I just wish that his first memory was a more pleasant one."

"Me too," Sam sighed. Another awkward silence fell between them.

"Why did you push him away?" Sam asked suddenly, making Kurt stop to look at him.

"I pushed him away?" Kurt asked, baffled. "He's the one who cheated on me."

"Only because he felt so alone," Sam argued. "Look, I know that that's no excuse to cheat on anyone, but I was here with him. I saw how miserable he was. The first thing that he did, or tried to do after we won the election, was try to call you and tell you. I understand that you were busy with your new job in New York, but it almost felt like you were forgetting about Blaine, pushing him away, moving on to bigger and better things."

"We've both made our mistakes," Kurt said softly, stroking Blaine's hair again. "And we both deserve a chance to start over." Kurt could feel the tears starting to well up in his eyes as he looked up at Sam. "I can't even begin to describe the pain that I felt when I thought that Blaine was dead. Losing someone like that, it makes you realize just how special and important they are to you. I don't ever want to lose him again."

"Good," Sam smiled softly as he started them moving again. "Blaine is a great guy and so are you. You guys make a good team."

"Better than Team Blam?" Kurt joked, making Sam chuckle lightly.

"I don't know," he shrugged playfully. "It's pretty close..." A huge grin spread across his lips. Sam was a good friend. Blaine deserved to have such a good friend like Sam in his life.

"I think Blaine would like it if you came by and visited him sometime," Kurt said as they reached his vehicle. "Even though he doesn't remember you, I can already tell that he's made some sort of connection with you. I think that it would be good to have you around him."

"Really?" Sam's eyes lit up eagerly. He had missed hanging out with his friend.

"Yes," Kurt nodded, smiling at Sam's reaction. "I'll call you when Blaine is feeling better?"

"Sounds good," Sam smiled, helping to detach Blaine from Kurt and put him in the vehicle.

"Alright, well, we will see you later then," Kurt smiled as well as he hopped into the driver's seat. "Bye."

Sam stayed and watched them drive away until the vehicle was gone from sight. He couldn't help but feel completely terrible about what happened. Though Kurt had said it was necessary, Sam couldn't help but feel guilty. He had been the one to suggest the song. He had Googled comforting songs and that one had caught his eye, and he thought that it would have been perfect to sing to Blaine. Apparently, that wasn't the case.

I'll have to find a way to make it up to them, Sam decided as he headed back into the school. But how?