Tell Me You Love Me

"Okay, little missy. You can close your legs now, put your clothes back on, and sit back up. I’ll be back with your results in a few minutes.” the lady told me. As soon as I watched the nurse leave the room and heard the door click, I jumped off the table, put my clothes on quickly, and rushed to find my boots. I just had them in this stupid clinic a few minutes ago and now they’re gone! Aaron just bought me those damn UGG’s yesterday and he told me, and I quote, to “come back with those boots off my feet and it’s my ass”. So, I guess I’ve got to sit here until this lady gets back here…now, that I think about it, these walls are SUPER BORING! I mean, these walls are white, with no decorations on them…no pink, no sparkles, nothing! Anyways, here comes the nurse-lady now.

“Well, miss, you have nothing to worry about. You’re as healthy as a horse. We’ll call you if we find anything wrong, okay?”

“ Ok. Umm, have you seen any silver sparkly boots lying around? Specifically some size 6 UGG’s?”

“Yes, I have. I think I saw some man walking out with them on his feet, mumbling something about sparkles.” AARRGG! Only in a fucking Bedford-Stuyvesant clinic can you get your stuff stolen.

***************

I turned the key inside the lock, opened up the door really quietly (I’m not trying to wake everybody else up…especially Aaron), and snuck inside the door real fast. Sadly, the TV was still on, Aaron was sprawled out on the couch, and he was awake.

“Simonee, where the hell did you go, girl?” he said groggily.

“I thought you were still here, but I guess not.”

“Umm, yeah. I had to go…handle some stuff.” I said, walking away as fast I could while Aaron looked me up and down. I swear to God, this boy can see right through me.

“What you looking at me like that for?” I said nervously.

“Nothing.” he said, laying his head down slowly. After our awkward silence, he jumped up and I ran into my room.

“TELL ME WHERE THE HELL YOU WENT, SIMONEE!” he said, twisting my arm, screaming in my ear, and pushing me onto my bed while I screamed and cried.

“Stop it, Aaron! You’re hurting me!” I cried.

“TELL ME WHERE THE FUCK YOU WENT!” he yelled again. When he saw that I wasn’t talking, he left me go. Then, he looked down at my feet and back up at my face. I was still holding my arm where he left a big purple bruise. I started to beg him to stop, but when he’s recovering from his hangovers, there’s no stopping him. He walked towards me, balled his fist up, and swung at my face! I curled up into a ball, bawling my eyes out.

“Didn’t I tell you that if you lost or damaged those boots that I would beat your ass, Simonee?!”

“Somebody stole them from me!”

“How did they get off your feet? And don’t lie to me either, Simonee or I will tear your ass apart, I swear to…”

“They’re at my sister’s house!” I lied. I haven’t spoken to my sister in two weeks due to our latest argument. He finally calmed down, picked me up (believe me, he’s really strong), sat me on my bed, and sat on my bed too. After he dried my tears, he finally talked to me.

“I’m sorry, Simonee. But sometimes, you just do these things to piss me off, you know? Like the boots… I love to spend money on you, girl, but those boots cost me $190. That shit was expensive and if you lose them, you won’t get anymore, ya hear me?” he said, talking to me like a child. I wanna say something smart, but I don’t wanna make him mad again, so I just nod my head. Then he tells me to stay put while he leaves.

Before we go any further, let me start off by saying that my name is Simonee Stallings. I’m 15 years old and I live with my mom, my sister, and my niece. We live in the neighborhood of Bedford-Stuyvesant in Brooklyn. Personally, I don’t understand why we live in the projects, due to the fact that my mom is a very successful lawyer. It still amazes to this day, but I guess she doesn’t mind it, so I don’t bring it up. I also don’t understand why my sister lives with us even though she clearly shares a place with her man. Anyways, back to me. Aaron Warrner is my boyfriend and 2 years my senior. My mom doesn’t really approve of him, mainly because of his age, his hobbies, and she doesn’t really like many black people. My sister always calls her “The Uncle Ruckus Of Bed-Stuy” and my mom hates that. But, back to the topic of Aaron. When we met, I was just starting of as a freshman in high school. I was walking to my class and he just bumped into me, knocking my books out my hand and knocking the wind out of me. After I got up, I told him to pick my shit up. He told me that I had two working arms and that I could do it my damn self. Then I said that he was the one who knocked me over and he should do it. Then he called me a cunt and said to do it my damn self. And then we argued for about 5 minutes until we went to class. In third period, I found out that we had the SAME class and the ONLY seat left was next to him. What the fuck? Anyways, we didn’t talk to each other for the 1st two months of school, until one day in particular. He had done something really stupid and gotten himself into trouble…HUGE trouble. I can’t exactly remember what he did, but they were thinking about expelling him or something like that. You see, I had secretly been attracted to him but never said anything. And I don’t know why then I did it, but I took the fall for him. Anyways, he thanked me and we got to talking. But, yeah, that’s how we met. I love Antoneo with all my heart, but there are sometimes I wonder why I stay with him. He likes to drink…a lot…and he likes to smoke…a lot. But it’s worse when he does both, because he always thinks he controls me and shit, and I hate that. Then he gets mad and likes to hit me and boy, is he strong. But besides that, he’s really nice to me and would hate to lose me over something stupid and I feel the same way, which is why I can’t tell him that I’m 3 months pregnant.

“Simonee, you in here? I tried to call you but you didn’t answer!” my sister called out to me as she entered the apartment door. Janaé is my older sister that somewhat lives here. She is the most loyal, dumbest person I know…and I know a lot of people. She has a baby of her own (Chenille Aaliyah Renee Jackson), although sometimes it seems like she needs parenting most of the time. Anyways, she just came bursting in on me, in my own room!
“Simonee! Get up, you lazy bum! You’re supposed to be watching Chenille, and…what the fuck happened to you? It looks like Mike Tyson punched you in your arm and in you eye!” She can be so rude sometimes. No hi, no hello, no how was your day, nothing.

“Nothing. Just a little bruise, that’s all. I, umm…gave myself a huge hickey on my arm and ran into the wall?” I said questionably. “You do realize that you’re a terrible liar, right?”

“Shmee-shmee-shmee-shmee-shmee-shmu-shmee. Oh, jump off a cliff.”

“I would, but you’d miss me too much.”

“Missing you would be an understatement.”

“Give it a rest, Simonee. I know he hit you.”

“Who did? The Cool Robber?”

“Simonee, I might be stupid at times, but I’m smart enough to know when you get your ass kicked by a boy or a girl. Normally, you’re the one to kick a girl’s ass and there’s only one boy I know who can bruise you up like that, and that’s Aaron.”

“What are you talking about?” I lied again.

“Oh, come on, Simonee! It’s totally obvious! No boy has ever hit you except for him! I know he’s hit you because I can smell alcohol, and where there’s alcohol, there’s Aaron. And when those two mix, he gets to hitting on you and I’ve seen it, so either tell me now or I can tell mom that...”

“Shush! Do you hear that?” I whisper-screamed, covering her mouth with my small hands. We sat there for a minute, until I heard the downstairs door slam and heard somebody stomping up the stairs…big footsteps coming towards the apartment.

“You have to go into your room and get Chenille, because last time I checked, she was wet.” I told her. I don’t want to hear her bullshit right now. All I want to do is eat.

“Why didn’t you change her then, stupid?” she yelled at me.

“I did…about five hours ago.”

“We’ll finish our talk later.” She said as soon as she saw Aaron walking into the living room. They just sat there, staring each other down like wolves.

“Janaé.” he said rudely.

“Aaron.” she retorted back. Then, she just turned her nose up and walked into her room.

“Where did you go?” I asked Aaron. He just looked at me like he was really confused, raising one eyebrow.

“Oh, so now I’m being questioned now? Why does it matter where I went? If it doesn't concern you, don’t worry about it.” Did this boy really just try to get salty with me? Then he got up and walked back to the room and locked the door, with me hot on his trail.

“Why do I have to tell you where I go but when I ask you where you go, you get all mad and shit?” I asked, but he just turned on the radio.

“Nigga, don’t you try to drown me out! Answer me.”, I said again, but he just turned it up louder.

“I’m trying to talk to you, but you’re just acting like a little bitch!”, I screamed. I guess he heard me, because he shut it off completely.

“That’s right! I called you a bitch! You a dumb ass bitch, who does nothing but drink and smoke all the time! You don’t do shit! You just eat, sleep, shit, and act like a bitch! So that’s why I’m leaving your ass!” I screamed. Then he stomped to the door, unlocked it, and backed me up into a corner.

“You better get the hell outta my way or imma…” I didn't get to finish because he squeezed my cheeks together.

“What the hell did you just call me?” he said, 10 inches away from my face.

“I called you a bitch, Nigga! That’s what you are!” I said.

“You leaving me, Simonee?” he said with a smirk on his face. I tried to get away, but he just squeezed my shoulders. Then he pushed me on the couch and got on top of me, kissing me roughly as he pinned me down.

“Tell me you’re leaving me, Simonee. I want you to tell me, face to face. Tell me you’re leaving me.”

*2 HOURS LATER*

I woke up and everything was dark: my room, the hallway, and majority of outside. The only lights that were on were the orange streetlights gleaming in the window, the lights from the oven, and the bathroom light. I tried to lift myself up by moving my feet but one thing blocked me: Aaron. He must’ve fallen asleep on me. I have to pee really badly from earlier today and my mouth feels watery inside. I checked my phone to see what time it was…3:45 in the morning. I lifted up Aaron’s hand and slowly tried to raise up his arm, but it was no use. He woke up and was looking down upon me.

“I’m sorry, Simonee. Did I scare you?” he said softly. I don’t know what it was, the fact that it was dark and scary and Aaron was drunk, which meant that I was in trouble, or the fact that it sounded creepy, but I started to cry really softly.

“What’s wrong, Simonee? Did you have a bad dream?” he said as he wiped the tears off my face.

“I need to go pee.” I plead, but he wouldn't get off of me.

“Say the magic word and your wish is my command.” he said softly. I knew those words too well; he’d say that to me when I asked him for stuff, but usually he said it when I wanted to stop having sex.

“Can I please go to the bathroom to go pee?” I cried. Then he jumped off of me and I ran to the bathroom as fast as I could. As soon as I lifted up the toilet seat, everything I ate from yesterday came hurling out my mouth at the speed of lightning, from potato skins to wings. It felt really gross, and after I went pee, my throat felt slimy, which meant I had to throw up again.

“Simonee, you okay in there?” Aaron asked as he knocked on the door.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Don’t come in here!” I cried. After I cleaned up, I tried to leave the bathroom but was knocked down onto my ass by Aaron’s chest.

“Ouch!” I cried, “I didn't see you standing there.” I said very quietly. He didn't even say sorry or ask if I was okay, He just pointed to the couch, which meant that he wanted me to lie down.

“Can I go change my clothes first?” I said through tears. He nodded and told me to hurry back. I ran to the room, changed my clothes, hid under my blankets, and cried myself to sleep. The last thing I remember was hearing my bedroom door shut and feeling Aaron wrapping his huge arms around me.