Tell Me You Love Me

"Oh, come on, mom. This is insane." I said as we entered the Planned Parenthood. She felt the need to bring me here to see if we could "fix this problem". I tried talking and reasoning with her on the way here, but she wouldn't budge.

"It's not insane, Simonee. It's for the best, honey." she said, walking up to the counter to speak with the receptionist. After she signed my name on the waiting list, I went to sit down in the purple chairs. I looked around at all the young girls sitting in the chairs. They all kept staring at me, like I was the one in the wrong. I didn't know what they were looking at me for until this girl sat next to me.

"It's not you. It's just your belly. You're farther along than they are, meaning your partner of the opposite sex let you keep it for awhile." she said, shaking and trembling. She looked about my age. Her blonde hair was tangled and messy, like a bird's nest. She had bags under her big, red eyes, meaning she probably hasn't slept in a day or two. She had a pale face with red lipstick on.

"Oh..." I said, trying not to stare at her for too long.

"Don't be too afraid. They can smell fear. They enjoy doing this: going inside women, poking and probing them like aliens, taking their joy away and leaving them to suffer afterwards." she said, still shaking as she sniffled and took a sip of her coffee. She should stick to decaf.

"Look, um, not to be rude or anything, but isn't conspiracy illegal?" I said, pissing her off.

"IT'S NOT CONSPIRACY! ANNA PARIS NICOLE JOHNSON KNOWS WHAT SHE'S TALKING ABOUT!" she screamed, causing everyone to look at us. The receptionist glared at us, shushing us as she returned to her phone call. "Sorry if I'm making you nervous...the name's Anna."

"Cool. I'm Simonee. I was nervous when I got here. This your first time?" I asked, tapping my fingers on the armrest.

"Nope...5th time. They know my name. I know, I'm a freak in the sheets." she said, getting up to get another cup of coffee, but the receptionist stopped her.

"Mrs.Jonhson, sit down! You're cut off from the coffee machine." she said, making Anna sit back down.

"To be honest, I don't want to lose my baby. My mom does and my boyfriend does, but I can't do it." I said, tapping my foot. Suddenly, there was this big crashing sound and the screaming of a girl. The girl tried to run down the hallway, but the doctors caught her. She looked to be about 12 years old! They got her and brought her back to the room, locking the door. Suddenly, I didn't feel so good. My stomach started to hurt really bad. I rushed to the trashcan and threw up, holding both sides as it came rushing out.

"Sorry, I've got morning sickness." I said, wiping my mouth with a napkin. Anna looked at me and gave me a mint.

"We've all had it. But, if you want to keep your baby, do what's right...I mean, do what YOU think is right." she said, looking me in my eyes. Her eyes were filled with fear and sadness. Just then, a male doctor came into the room and called my name.

"Well, that's me. Guess I should go." I said, sniffling as I tried to keep myself from crying. Anna reached over and hugged me. I heard her sniffling, too. We exchanged numbers before I left with the doctor.

"GOOD LUCK!" she shouted before they closed the door. This is why I don't get attached to people: I get so damn emotional it's like I'm PMS'ing.
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"Okay, Mrs. Stallings. Now that we've discussed your options, talked about your medical history, done the laboratory tests, and done a physical exam, it's time to read and sign those papers. Any questions, comments, or concerns?" my male doctor said, I was laying on this bed in a paper sheet thing. It's really cold in here and I'm scared to death. What if something goes wrong? What if I can never have kids again? I instantly thought back to Anna's words: "do what YOU think is right." I looked up at my mom, who smiled at me and patted my hands.

"It's for the best, honey. Just think, you can live a normal life again. You won't have to be like those other girls." she said, making me uncomfortable.

"Can I go to the bathroom?" I asked, glancing at the tools and machines in the room. This looked more like a torture chamber than an abortion clinic.

"Yes, you may. But please hurry, miss. If you extend to continue the procedure, you have to sign the paper." he said, sighing heavily.

As soon as he finished talking, I bolted out of the room and ran into another hallway. I found the bathroom pretty easily, but it took me a while. When I got in the bathroom, I locked it and sat on the toilet, thinking of the pros and cons of going through with this procedure. In the end, the good outweighed the bad and I was stuck. If I walk out of here, they're gonna make me sign the papers. If I stay, they're gonna come look for me and make me sign the papers. Think, Simonee, think! There has to be a way out other than the door...the window! I looked up at the window, which was right above the counter that held all the sinks. It's snowing outside, I left my clothes in the room, and I left my phone in the room. I don't even have a bus pass! Suddenly, a girl walked in the bathroom.

"Oh! I'm sorry. I'll just-"

"Excuse me, can I borrow your phone?" I asked the girl.

"I don't know you very well, and-"

"JUST GIVE ME THE DAMN PHONE...please." I said, making the girl jump. She quickly opened her bag and tossed me her Blackberry. I dialed Jennifer's number and placed the phone to my ear.

"Hello?" Jenny said, her voice sounding groggy. I'd forgotten it was Saturday fucking morning.

"Jenny! I need you to come to Planned Parenthood and pick me up, please!" I cried into the phone. I have no idea as to how I'm going to get out of here, but I'm not gonna sign these stupid ass papers.

"Dude, I'm in for today. I have the flu." she said, but it came out sounding like 'I ab da fu'.

"Oh, well...okay. See you later then." I said, my voice beginning to crack as I motioned the girl over. I hung up the phone and sat it on the counter. "Hey, um, can you help me out of this window?"

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Well, here I am, walking down the sidewalk in a paper sheet in the frigid cold, with no coat, gloves, or shoes. I feel like a naked polar bear roaming in Iceland (do they actually live there?). But, hey, I'm only 3 blocks away from my apartment. I know what you're thinking, 'Why don't you just hitchhike?' and I have a logical explanation: Law Law & Order SVU. Yep. People end up dead like that sometimes and then there's this long case where the body's found frozen solid in the East River (no wonder my mom says I should stop watching television).

As I kept walking down the sidewalk, this stupid car decided to zoom into a puddle of water and splash water all over me! Great. Now I'm drenched in water and I'm freezing. As the cars keep passing, one car slows down when it gets next to me. I stop dead in my tracks and my legs turn into Jell-O. I know I should run, but I can't get my legs to move. Suddenly, the window rolled down and I start to panic.

"Simonee? What are you doing outside, wearing a hospital gown? Don't you know it's 22 degrees outside?” a familiar voice said. I slowly turned my head to see Chris, sitting in the driver’s seat. I feel totally embarrassed now, just standing in front of him in nothing but my bra, my boy shorts, and a paper gown.

“Well, don’t just stand there! Get in!” he said, opening the passenger side door. He didn’t have to tell me twice. I slowly slid into the car and placed my seatbelt on as he took off. It was pretty silent at first, but he started talking to me when he noticed that I’d lost a bit of color and I was shivering.

“Oh God, I’m so sorry!” he said as we drove to the red stoplight. He searched frantically for something to warm me up with, but all he had was a blanket, some sweatpants, and a shirt. He threw the blanket on me before the light changed to green. “By the way, what were you doing, walking in the cold with nothing on?” he asked as the heat kicked in.

“You don’t even want to know. It’s a long story and it’s hard to explain.” I chuckled, wrapping myself up in the blanket. God, I’d rather be sitting in a sauna rather than out in the cold. He just looked at me curiously, but when I caught him, he turned back to the road. When he did it again, he began to giggle.

“What?” I said, raising my eyebrow.

“I’m not sure if you’ll get angry when I say this, but are you crazy?” he said, trying not to laugh. I punched him in the arm while he continued to laugh

“NO! Why? Did someone tell you something?”

“Well, not exactly. It’s two things actually. One, it’s two rumors going around at school, and two, you don’t usually see someone walking around in hospital gown unless they’re crazy or it’s that random girl who’s the start of the zombie apocalypse.” he said, making me laugh a little.

“Um, let’s start off on the rumors. What did those awful, judgmental, mainstream homosapiens say about me?”

“Wow, that’s a very large vocabulary. I never would’ve expected you to say such large words.” Chris said jokingly as I punched him playfully in the arm repeatedly.

“Well, I did always ace my spelling tests in elementary school. Let’s not forget that I read the dictionary at recess when…you know.” I said, rolling my eyes at him. “Now, would you do me the honor of telling me the rumors?”

“I would be honored. I heard that you got pregnant by this dude that strongly looks like Aaron Carter, Nick Carter’s younger brother. I also heard that you got suspended for pulling Ashelynn off the table by her feet and then you tried to stab her in the eye with a spork.” Chris said, making me sigh and giggle.

“Okay, no one will ever have a face like the Carters except for the Carters, and I’m a little surprised that you know who Nick Carter and Aaron Carter are. Next, that wasn’t me. It was actually Jennifer. I was just suspended for being an “accomplice”. Wow, the way these kids think is just mind-blowing. I wonder if they’re actually smart enough to come up with this stuff on their own.” I said, making Chris snicker.

“They also said he was a life time carrier of HIV.” he said, nudging me in the arm.

“Oh God. Now they blew it. I think I should know if I was sleeping with someone like that. Where do these kids come up with crazy stuff like that?”

“Easily. They get it from Pretty Little Liars, the worst show to ever be produced in the history of America. Whenever I used to get in trouble, I’d always say ‘Damn you, Alison, although you’re still dead!’” Chris laughed and so did I. It got a little quiet after that until Chris turned on the radio and ‘Hollaback Girl’ came on. We both sung along to the song until it ended. I just looked at Chris the whole time. He caught me staring at him eventually.

“What?” he said, smiling at me. OMG, those pearly whites make me want to go bleach my teeth. It’s the one thing that keeps me looking at him…well, that and a whole list of other things. I find it weird that I like looking at him, but I don’t even want to look at my own boyfriend. That’s classified as cheating and I’d never cheat on Aaron, no matter how he acts. Yes, I know, he acts like a complete asshole and doesn’t care, but…it’s whatever.

“Nothing. It’s just…nothing.” I said before breaking down into tears. This is freaking insane! What am I crying for? I have no reason to cry, and I look like a big ass baby.

That’s probably what people think of me when they see me: a big ass baby. I hate this side-effect of being pregnant. I get so goddamn overemotional that I feel like I’m watching this super big chick flick 24/7 and it’s SO annoying.

“What’s wrong, Simonee?” Chris said, pulling over in front of my apartment complex. I’m not ready to go in there. Aaron’s gonna expect me to be non-pregnant and my mom might be home. I don't think I can deal with any of this right now.

"Chris, do you think that I could stay at your house for a while? I just really need someone right now to cry on!" I sobbed, throwing my arms around his neck as tears came trickling down my cheeks. Chris just sat there and patted me on the shoulder

"Um, sure...why not? I'm sure the rents won't mind." he said, putting the car into 'Drive' and placing his foot on the gas as we drove off to his house.