Take Me Dancing

7 Years Before -

Work is stressful. Home-life is stressful. Everything is stressful.

I've been promoted again at work. Working until late in the night, bringing paperwork home...the only thing keeping me from quitting is the money, we need it.

Sometimes when I'm lying in bed, tracing circles into Dana's neck as she dreams. I think about the amount of unhappiness and stress I'm bringing onto her. I'm always on edge, always working, always snappy. It's enough to make me just give up and maybe accept Dana's idea she made years ago about living in a cardboard box. But then I think about how when she graduates, gets a good job and I get my workload under control, how it's all going to be worth it in the end. We'll look back when we're happily married with 2 kids and say "the hard times are what makes us or breaks us".

And it's going to make us. I'm sure of it.

*****

I set my bag with all my paperwork in it onto the table with a huff. I was so tried, so drained. Thank God it was Friday.
"Take your bag off the table." Dana shouted from the sofa a few feet away. I scowled in her direction but obliged. I wan't in the mood tonight. With my bag trailing across the floor I stormed into the bedroom to hopefully, never return.

"What are you doing?" I heard Dana call from the hallway. With a groan I got up from the bed and opened the door.
"Ducking for apples! What does it look like!" I watched as Dana's face fell and her eyes burned with fire.
"Don't talk to me like that Peter Johnson." Her voice was low and menacing. My insides went cold.
"I've had a bad day and you're not making it any better. Now leave me alone!" I was turning to get back into the room when she caught hold of my arm with surprising grip.
"Do you know what day it is today?" I spun around to face her. Does she honestly think I'm retarded?
"It's Friday..?" I growled. As I said it her grey eyes instantly lost their sparkle and started to swim with tears. Something inside me tore in two at the sight of her. I could feel something twinge in my mind trying to tell me something but I wan't listening, I never do nowadays.

I pushed her out of my way and sat rigid on the sofa. I tried to block out the sound of her sniffing, failing to keep the tears at bay. I could feel her sit down softly, hesitant a if I was a wild animal.
"I don't know who you are any more Peter. It kills me everyday to watch you go off to work and come home and never, not once, acknowledge me with any form of compassion. I love you Peter, the real you, not the workaholic you." Her voice was little over a whisper. I turned to face her. I noticed things I'd not noticed before. She looked more pale, more tired, her eyes had lost their sparkle. She looked like a mere shell of the old Dana.
"What do you expect me to do Dana?! If I quit my job we're broke, we're homeless. I'm pretty sure you won't be jumping for joy then." Something inside her broke. The tears she was trying to hide broke the barrier and were running down her cheek shamelessly.

"Take me dancing." It was like a wind blew me back in time as she whispered those three words. The rain, the kiss, the tears, the vow...fuck. I looked up to meet Dana's stare. I'd broken it, broken my vow I'd made so many years ago. I made Dana cry. My soul ripped into a million pieces. I choked back a sob of my own. The lake, the park, the guitar, happy anniversary...

The fire was back in her eyes again.
"I was stupid to hang on so long Peter." I heard her storm into our bedroom. A few minute later the door slammed making the whole flat shake in it's wake.

Happy Anniversary.

A cloud of realisation filled my mind. I jumped off the sofa and ran to the front door. Swinging it nearly off it's hinge in the rush to open it I ran out the flat and into the inky black night.
"Dana! Dana! DANA!" I called desperately into the dark in vein.

Our Anniversary.

I was on my knees. Begging the sky to give her back to me. Give me back Dana. I called out again. Again. Again.

Nothing.

The sobs shook my whole being. I pounded lamely at the pavement with white fists. My chest felt like someone had ripped out my soul, my heart, my Dana.

I reached into my pocket to reveal the velvet box. The ring. With a cry I remembered. I was going to ask her. Ask her on our anniversary. I clutched the box to my chest a if it would heal my broken heart.

Hardships make or break someone. They broke me.

They broke us.