I'm All Yours

I haven’t seen or talked to Harry in a week and it was the worst time of my life. My pride however, wouldn’t let me go crawling back.

“Are you really just going to live on my couch?” Pete asked walking into his living room with 2 cups of tea.

After I left after the fight with Harry, I didn’t know where to go. All my other friends would have made me go back to Harry, but I knew Pete wouldn’t have. Mostly because I just never listen to him. That didn’t stop him from making side comments the entire time.

I took the cup of tea from him, “No. Just until you either kick me out, or I figure out my next move.”
He gave me a stern look, “I would never kick you out Emma, and your ‘next move’ should be to go back to your husband.”

“I told you, that wasn’t an option. He said he was done,” I said blowing on my hot tea before taking a sip.

He sighed and leaned back into the couch, “You two are the most stubborn pair I’ve ever met. You know he’s not serious, he was just mad. You both get mad at nothing, it’s what you do!”

“Well maybe I don’t want to do it anymore,” I snapped.

He snorted, “So you’re going to tell me that you’d be fine moving on with your life without him?” I looked down at my tea when he said that. He continued, “You’d be fine seeing him move on, be with someone else? Marry someone else? Have kids with someone else? Grow old with someone else?”

“Stop,” I mumbled. My chest hurt listening to him babble on about Harry living his life without me, and I was done listening. “Just shut up Pete, you don’t get it.”

“Oh no, I do actually. It sucks watching someone you love move on. You need to swallow your pride and fix this before you wind up old and alone wondering where it all went wrong,” I looked back and glared at him. He shrugged, “You know I’m right.”

“Whatever,” I said under my breath.

“You haven’t even cancelled the wedding, who are you trying to kid here?” He challenged.

I set my half empty cup on the table in front of me, “Shut up Pete. Just shut up alright? Please!”

“Fine,” he stood up, “I’ve got to go to work anyways boss, just figure your shit out yeah?”

As he was leaving Mayra called, “Why won’t you just go home. This has gotten way out of hand. Like all your fights seem too,” she said annoyed.

I sighed, “Isn’t that the point? Out fights always end up horribly? Maybe we aren’t a good fit okay?”

She groaned, “No, you’re prefect for each other, you’re just both insanely hot headed! You need to go home. Harry’s a mess.”

“Then why hasn’t he called me?” I challenged.

“The same reason you haven’t called him. We just went over this Em.”

I was quiet. I had no response for her because she was right.

“The press has started gossiping too. Harry hasn’t left the house much, and they’ve seen you at Pete’s. Just go home and fix this!” She pleaded.

“I can’t right now,” I snapped, “I’m still mad!”

“Oh so he wants to invite a few more people to your wedding, big fucking deal Emma! Yeah, more press would want in, but he’s Harry fucking Styles, you could invite 3 people and they’d still be all over it! You’re making excuses, admit it!” She was yelling now. She rarely yelled at me, so this was a big deal.

I sighed, “I- Mayra… I have to go,” I said hanging up. I was so sick of dealing with my friends right now.

To clear my head I started cleaning up Pete’s flat. It was the least I could do since he’s let me stay here. I know he said he wouldn’t just kick me out, but I knew he was getting tired of me cock blocking him and Ashley when she came over.

By the time I was done, the flat was spotless and it was dark out. I then took a shower and folded all my clothes and organized the few things I had brought with me in a nice pile in the corner of the living room. Pete had come home in the middle of me doing this and was foraging for something to eat in the kitchen.

“Do you want me to make something?” I offered.

“Uh, no,” He said into the cupboard, “I’m an adult, I can figure this out,” He laughed. Just then someone knocked on the door, “Can you get that?” He asked barely glancing at me.

I pushed off the kitchen doorway and headed to the door.

When I opened it I came face to face with Louis, “Uh, hey Lou,” I said awkwardly.

The look on his face was unreadable, but it wasn’t the usual carefree look he usually had. “I need you to come with me.”

“Why?”

“Don’t ask questions just come with me,” he said glaring a little.

I sighed, “I don’t want too, I’m-“

“I didn’t ask if you wanted too,” he snapped, “You either come with me willingly, or we can do this the hard way.” He glanced over my shoulder for a second to acknowledge Pete who had joined us in the doorway.

I glared at the boy in front of me, “The hard way? Really Lou?”

“Really,” he was full on glaring now.

I crossed my arms, “Well I’m not going.”

Without warning Louis came at me and threw me over his shoulder, “Louis!” I shrieked as he started carrying me away from Pete’s flat.

“I gave you a choice! Don’t cry about it now,” he said snidely.

“Where are you taking me? I’m not even wearing shoes!” I kicked my socked feet around.

“At least they match,” he commented, “One less this for the press to comment on, give them a wave.”

I looked up a pit and sure enough, there were a few guys with cameras around the flat parking lot. Before I could register anything I was thrown in the backseat of Louis car and he slammed the door on me. “Louis!” I yelled.

He jumped into the driver’s seat and sped out of the parking lot.

“What are you doing?” I demanded.

“What you should have done on your own! Taking you home! I’m so sick of you two being so immature about everything, and I’m sick of you hurting my best mate. I love you to death, but every time you walk out it breaks him.”

That shut me up. I knew I’ve hurt him when I run away from our fights, but hearing it from Louis just made it so much more real.

But I was stubborn, “You know, I’m not the only one in the wrong here! He said nasty things too! He called me a cunt if I remember right.”

“Well were you being one?” He glanced at me in the rearview mirror and I dropped my gaze, “That’s what I thought.”

I slid into an actual seat and put my seatbelt on and pouted.

“Look, Emma. I’ll be the first to admit that I never actually saw you two getting together. I thought Harry would just pine away while you were kept in the dark until one of you married someone else one day. But seeing you two together… well there are no two people more perfect for each other than you guys are. Yes you fight over the stupidest shit, and you run away and he’s an ass most of the time, but you’re married. The only way out of this is a divorce. Do you really want to be divorced at 19? Because if you do, Harry won’t be here anymore. He won’t be able to just go back to being your best friend, but you know this don’t you? Which is why you haven’t officially called off this wedding. Because you love him too and you know I’m making sense, I can see it in your face.”

I glanced back up to the lad in the driver’s seat. He met my stare for a moment before he focused back on the road. I sighed, but didn’t say anything.

“Harry’s a mess Em. He needs you. He may not be able to tell you that, but he does. I’ve never seen him this wrecked,” he said with a plea I’ve never heard in Lou’s voice before. It hurt to hear him tell me all this.

“But he told me he was done,” I whispered.

“Because he was angry,” Louis snapped making me jump. “God Emma, how daft are you?”

“You didn’t see his face Louis. The look in his eyes when he said it. You don’t know everything!” My voice broke, but I didn’t let a tear fall.

He sighed, “I know,” he voice was softer, “But I know that my best friend is in love with you and he needs you. No matter what he may have said, he didn’t mean it.”

I shut my eyes and leaned my head against the window and tried to collect myself. We were almost to the house Harry and I shared, and I wasn’t ready to face him.

When we pulled up to the house I just sat there and stared at it. Like I was afraid it was going to sprout legs and walk off.

“Go on then,” Louis said breaking me from my trance, “Get out!”

I bit my lip and glanced at him.

When I was about to step out his voice stopped me, “I’ll warn you, it’s not pretty.”

“What do you mean?”

He shrugged, “Just go see for yourself, yeah?”

I sighed and pulled myself out of the car. As soon as I shut the door Louis took off. I stood there, on the sidewalk in my socks, and watched him drive away.

Well I guess I had no choice but to go in now. I didn’t have my keys with me so it took me a moment to find the hide-a-key before I finally was able to walk in.

The first thing I noticed when I walked in was the odd smell. I couldn’t quite place it but it wasn’t the usual smell of our house.

That, and it was quiet. Dead silent.

Was he even home?

I walked through the front living room and into the kitchen. And the smell finally made sense. The kitchen was a mess; there were beer cans and dishes all over. Like someone had a mini party in the kitchen then though ‘fuck it’ and left. There were also two handles of tequila on the counter. One was empty while the other was only half gone.

I walked into the back living room, but it was more or less untouched. Like it usually was.

After I had walked through the entire downstairs, I decided to bite the bullet and head upstairs to try and find my estranged, and probably drunk, husband.

When I walked into our room I expected to find him on the bed, but it was empty. In fact, it didn’t look like anyone had touched the bed since I last made it before the night I left.

I walked out of our room and looked through the guest rooms.

I finally found him in the room with my old bed in it. He was on his stomach, laying half off the bed. I walked further into the room and stared down at him. The top half of his body was angled down towards the floor, and clutched in this right hand was another handle of tequila.

Curled in his left arm though was one of my sweaters. He was clutching onto it like it was a security blanket.

I walked over and tried to shake him awake, “Harry? Harry,” but there was no response. He was out cold in a tequila blackout.

I sighed and leaned over and grabbed the bottle out of his grasp and set it on the side table. I then pushed his body fully on the bed, the best I could against his dead weight. When I pushed him up he curled up on his side and hugged my sweater closer to him. Then I moved down and took his shoes off, and threw and throw blanket on him.

I sat on the bed and watched him for a moment. It made me sick that he was, apparently, ruining himself. Because I left.

It had only been a week!

I sighed and got up, grabbed the alcohol off the table and shut the door softly behind me before I went back down the stairs.

I sat the bottle down next to the other two on the kitchen counter and just stared at the scene before me.

This was bad. Really bad.

Now I understood what Mayra and Louis were saying.

I fought the urge to cry and got to work cleaning up the mess in the kitchen.

I bagged all the cans and bottles, and dumped the rest of the alcohol I found down the drain.
I washed the dishes and whipped down the counters and sprayed the entire downstairs with air freshener and opened a few windows to air out the house.

When I was done I went up to our master bedroom and showered. I changed into sweats and a t-shirt before I found myself walking back into the room Harry was passed out in.

It killed me to see him like this. He wasn’t a weak person. This wasn’t like him. Yes he drank, but not like this.

I curled up in the big chair in the corner of the room and pulled my knees up to my chest. I sat silently trying to contain my sobs as I watched him sleep.