Kill This Venom

I wondered how we usually spent our nights. If we sat there silently, blocking out the sounds of the vampires, or if we talked so constantly and loudly that we could hear nothing but our own voices. I knew that when my brother was around there was definitely not a moment of silence. Even when he was sleeping, his snores could deafen a person. He must have made the nights bearable.

“You’re loud as hell, Nate,” I said out loud, pretending he was there with me.

I’m like an opera, loud but beautiful, he would say back to me.

“There’s nothing beautiful about your voice.”

You’re jealous because all the beauty was given to me. Mom’s body knew you were a mistake, so it didn’t waste our good genes on you.

“Hey I’m glad I don’t have a jewfro.”

These are luscious locks, not a jewfro!

My mom would interrupt, saying quiet down! You’re both loud, argument over.

Nate would easily get her on his side, though, by saying Mom! Shane was insulting our curly hair. I’m just defending us.

My mom would be won over just like that. Leave your brother and his hair alone, Shane!

“You’re only defending him ‘cause I insulted your hair, too,” I would argue with her. “God, I’m crazy.” I shook my head and shut my eyes. I had just had a conversation with my dead brother and mother. I hadn’t been alone that long and I was already losing it.

“No, you’re not,” Nessa’s voice said. “You would always say things like that to your mom and brother.”

“Great,” I sighed, rubbing my face. Nessa’s voice was too clear in my head. I really was going insane.

“Do I at least get a welcome back?” her voice spoke again.

I stopped rubbing my face and opened my eyes. Nessa was there. She was standing at the back door of the church, alive, limbs still intact. She was in the church and looked fine, which also meant she was still human.

“You’re alive?! You’re alive!”

I sprung from my seat and ran to her, embracing her, comforted by the presence of another life. Her skin was ice cold from the night air, but it didn’t bother me. She returned the embrace, wrapping her cold arms around me.

“I’m sorry, Nessa,” I said, my voice muffled by her hair. “I’m sorry I left. I should’ve come back for you. I was such a useless coward, I don’t know how the hell you think I can be a hero. I couldn’t even save you.”

“Hey, David, it’s ok,” she said, her usual confidence back in her voice. “I’m ok, see?”

I pulled her back by her shoulders and examined her. She really was. There wasn’t any sign of struggle. No blood, no scratches, no bites.

“How?”

“I have a lot to tell you,” she smiled. “First, let’s get some lights on in this place, it’s depressing.”

“I couldn’t find a lighter,” I shrugged, smiling right back at her. Having her there was enough. I didn’t care about the darkness that, earlier, felt suffocating.

She went over to the altar and picked up the candles I had tossed. There was a lighter in her pocket. She lit a few candles, spreading them randomly across the floor. She sat cross legged on the floor and beckoned me over. I sat across from her and stared at her in the candlelight. That girl that was crying and screaming was completely gone. I wished I was as strong as her.

“You don’t need to be sorry for two reasons,” she began. “First of all, I told you to leave me. I wouldn’t have told you to do it without expecting you to do it. If it was the other way around, I would have had to leave, too. There was no other way. So don’t feel bad, okay?”

I nodded. I felt like a child once again, being comforted for an innocent mistake that I had made. When did the vampire apocalypse turn me into such a kid?

“Second of all,” she continued, “I’m perfectly ok, because they didn’t hurt me.”

She spoke of the vampires casually. Before, she would grimace at the mere mention of them, but now she spoke of them naturally, like their existence wasn’t a big deal.

“They’re not as bad as we thought, David.”

“What? What do you mean they’re not that bad?! They killed our family, they ate that guy!” I instinctively scooted back, not wanting to be near her. What the hell was she talking about?

“Listen, listen, hear me out,” she said, placing a hand on my knee, but I flinched away from her touch. “Just listen, please?”

I stared at her, waiting for her to continue.

“They didn’t kill our family,” she said. “We did. All they did was turn them.”

My mouth dropped open at the statement. She said that so nonchalantly.

“Are you serious?” I mumbled, looking down at the ground, shaking my head.

“All the vampires did was turn them into one of them,” she repeated, disgusting me even more. “We decided to kill them because we didn’t want them to turn. But it’s not the vampires’ fault. It’s natural instinct, ya know?”

My head snapped up to look at her, expecting her to say she was just joking. She was serious, though, and nodding at her statement. The flames danced across her facial features, and I was hoping, waiting, for some sort of change. For anything. A look of insanity or grief. Maybe the pain of the situation had caused her to say these things, but no. She looked completely sane and confident in the things she was telling me.

“And yeah, they ate that guy,” she said, shrugging, “but they need some blood to survive. They can’t just turn everyone.”

I was still staring at her silently. So she continued.

“Look, I know you don’t fully get it, but you just need to be around them. Look at me, they didn’t kill me. They actually talked to me, like humans. They explained things to me and the way they live. It’s not that bad. You live forever, you’re fast and powerful, and everything is just made a million times better. They told me I should turn. They didn’t even force it on me or anything, they just suggested it. We always looked at it like it’s such a bad thing, but it isn’t.

“I’m gonna let them turn me, David. I decided not to do it tonight because I wanted to talk to you first, and I even told them I would try and convince you. They were okay with it. So I told them I would meet them tomorrow night and they could turn me then. Don’t you think it’s better to just take it, instead of living in fear of it all?”

I shook my head. That was all I could do. I had nothing to say to her. I may not have been able to remember all the events that had taken place before I woke up, and the full details of this “apocalypse,” but I knew enough to make me despise these creatures and never actually want to turn into one of them. They had been the cause of my family’s death. That was all I needed to know. I had seen what they did to a human body with no remorse, in order to keep themselves alive. They were soulless creatures.

“Come on, David,” she pushed, taking hold of my hand, but I snatched it out of her grip and stood up off the floor.

“We made a deal,” I said, looking down at her. All her beauty and assurance, the things I had admired about her, were gone. “We’d stake each other as soon as any of us turned.”

“That was before I knew more about them,” she defended. “I want this.”

“You’re letting them take your soul,” I spat at her. “They’ll take a bite or two out of your neck and take your soul from you just like that. And you’re letting them.”

“See, you’re looking at it in such a bad way! I’m not losing my soul, I get to live forever.”

“As soon as you turn into one, you lose your soul.”

She was about to shake her head and protest, but I put my hand forward for her to stop talking.

“I don’t wanna hear your reasons,” I sighed. “You’re over here justifying the things they do. You know what? They’re not gonna take your soul when they turn you. You already lost it.”

She continued looking up at me, her facial expression unreadable, as if she was already inhuman. I turned away from her and searched in the dim light for the duffel bag we’d filled with food earlier in the day. It lay on one of the pews and I rummaged through the canned foods, attempting to read the labels in the dark. I wasn’t sure which one I pulled out, unsure of how to open it, whatever it was.

“The can opener’s right here,” Nessa said, as if reading my mind.

I looked back at her and stared at the can opener in her hands. I didn’t even want to go near her anymore. She was a completely different person. As if reading my mind again, she sighed and laid it on the floor, across from her. I picked it up and popped the can open, noticing in the light of the candles that it was refried beans. Naturally, I’d be disgusted, but I was so hungry, it actually looked appealing. I left the can opener on the floor next to Nessa, who was holding a spoon out to me. I took it from her and went back to the pews, staying as far away as I could. I dug into the cold beans, disgusted by the taste at first, but forcing it down until it became bearable.

“So, are you gonna ignore me now?” she asked, still in the same position next to the candles.

“I have nothing to say,” I said in between mouthfuls.

“Can’t you just think about the things I’m telling you?” she continued persisting.

“I have,” I muttered, “and I’d like to stop because thinking about it while I’m eating is making me nauseous.”

“You’re being so dramatic!” she burst, finally showing a sign of emotion. She stood up off the floor and marched over to one of the pews, lying down so she was hidden from me.

All that could be heard was my chewing, the scraping of the spoon against the bottom of the can, and the occasional snarl from outside. When I was finished eating, I set the can on the floor and laid down on the bench, wanting to forget everything Nessa had said to me.

“I promised I would never let them hurt you,” I said, not sure if she was awake or not. “But you’re not the same person I made that promise to, so I’m letting it be forgotten.”

“Fine by me,” she replied. And that was it.

I didn’t know if she fell asleep. I did. When I woke up, the sun was shining, and I jumped out of the bench, cheered up by the sight of light and the silence outside. The darkness of the night before added a new level of depression to the situation. I stretched my arms high, popping my back, and shutting my eyes as I felt my body unwind. I welcomed the ringing in my ears as I stretched my arms higher and higher. When I opened my eyes, I found Nessa standing at the altar. I hadn’t noticed her before. She had her eyes locked onto a book.

For a brief moment, I convinced myself that the things Nessa had told me were part of a weird dream. They weren’t, though. The events of the night before had taken place. Nessa noticed that I was awake, taking a quick glance at me before returning her attention to the book in front of her.

The night before didn’t feel as awkward. I could hide from her in the darkness, but now we were both fully visible to each other in the sun’s brightness. And this would be the last time she saw the sun. I was staring at her, and I was sure she felt my gaze on her because she constantly shifted uncomfortably. I finally pulled my eyes off of her and went to the duffel bag of canned foods. Food was starting to serve as a temporary distraction. This time I was able to read the labels, and avoided the refried beans, going for canned corn instead. I picked the can opener up from in front of the altar, awkwardly avoiding Nessa as I did so.

I took the can back to my original seat and opened it there, staring at the ground as I ate.

“You’re gonna starve if you eat too much of it now,” Nessa scoffed, walking past me and out of the front doors of the church. I rolled my eyes and continued stuffing my mouth with corn. I didn’t care for anything she had to say, even if it was completely practical. I stopped halfway through the can, though, unfortunately seeing a point in her statement.

I spent the rest of the day wandering around aimlessly, familiarizing myself with the church and its contents since I would be left alone. Nessa had come back in, though, and was watching my every move, so I didn’t get to do that much exploring. All I discovered was that our stash of wooden stakes was in the farthest row of pews, closest to the front door. Our food and utensils were behind the altar. Everything else was scattered around in no particular place. There was no exact order and organization to anything. It felt like a home, familiar yet not perfectly organized.

I gave up on distracting myself at some point and just laid down on one of the uncomfortable benches that my body had grown used to. I shut my eyes and allowed sleep to take me over, wanting to get the day over with so that I could quickly get the night over with right after.

When my eyes opened, the sun was still out, but not for long. The sun was setting, lighting the church with a fiery red that made me want to shut my eyes again and sleep through the events that would be taking place soon. I sat up and looked around the church. Nessa was standing by the back door that was wide open. Her silhouette stood completely still for a few seconds that seemed to drag on forever. She finally shut the door and turned around, her eyes shut. A look of apprehension fell across her face. Was she having second thoughts?

When she opened her eyes and her gaze met my own, her face was rid of doubt and a dark mood covered the entire church, darker than before. It was time. We both knew it. She nodded and I nodded back. There was no turning back once she was out that door.

She walked down the aisle, away from the altar, and towards the front door. When she passed where I was sitting, it was obvious that she avoided my eyes completely. I opened my mouth to speak, and shut it right after, knowing she didn’t want to hear anything from me anymore. My words would be useless anyways. Her mind was set.

I didn’t turn to watch as she left. I just listened for her footsteps, the door to open, and close shut. She was gone. I looked up to the window and noticed that the sun was still slightly illuminating the church, which meant it would be a few more minutes before the vampires appeared. I felt the need to visit the graves of our families, both mine and hers.

I went to the stash of stakes and took one with me just in case. The mood outside seemed as tense as I was, anxiousness filling the air around me, or maybe it was just me filling the air with anxiousness. I definitely had enough to spare. I took a deep breath and walked over to the graves we had just filled the day before. They were close, so I knew if the vampires came out, I would have time to get in the church.

I knelt down by the grave that I knew belonged to my brother.

“Hey, Nate,” I sighed, patting the dirt, “I’m sorry I couldn’t protect you. I don’t remember what happened, but I’m sorry. I’m not the hero type, you’ve always known that. I’m more like the damsel in distress, and well, I’m in distress now. I don’t know what to do. Nessa is gone and I’m alone. I don’t even know who I’m more concerned for, her or me. Maybe death would be easier now…what’s the point?” A feeling of guilt washed over me. I was talking to my brother’s dead body, contemplating death. Everything about that situation felt completely wrong, so I shut myself up and looked to the rest of the graves. I whispered my apologies to all of them, for failing them, and then stood up to walk back inside. The sun was making its way to the other side of the church’s roof.

Black blurs emerged, but I was already safely past the church’s back door. I shut the door and stood there, taking deep breaths. It was almost time for Nessa to turn. Sneers and snarls taunted me from behind the door. Nessa would join them soon. I was about to turn away from the door, wanting to avoid all thoughts of her actually turning, when a human voice caught my attention.

“Why can’t we go yet?!” It was a woman’s voice. She sounded immature, like a child, but had the voice of a grown woman.

“Go ahead,” a voice replied. This voice belonged to a man, who spoke much more maturely than the woman did. “But you know what the sun will do to you.”

“But, I’m hungry!” she protested. “I can’t believe we had to wait a whole day!”

“We haven’t had a kill for a long time,” the man said, “we just wanted to make it fun.”

The girl laughed at this. “Imagine her face when she realizes what an idiot she’s been!”

“Exactly,” the man chuckled slightly; I could barely hear it. “We’ll make the most of it.”

“Is the other one with her?” the girl asked. “Do we get two??”

“No,” the man answered, “that one is still inside the church, I can smell him.”

I felt my heart beat increase in speed. He was talking about me. He could smell me. These two were vampires. They were talking about me…which had to mean that they were also talking about Nessa. My eyes widened as each thought processed through my mind. They would be feeding on Nessa, not turning her.

The sun was still slightly out, which meant I had time to warn Nessa.

“It’ll be easier to get him after,” I heard the girl giggle just before I turned away from the door.