Status: Active
When Night Breaks
Samantha: Pain
It was just past midnight when my phone lit up. I was deep in a dream when my ringtone made me jerk awake suddenly. With sleep still visible in my voice, I answered with a weak hello. The shrill scream of Jolene snapped me back into full consciousness.
"Sam! Oh God, Sam. It's Rose. Oh my God," she screamed through obvious tears.
"Jo, what happened?!" I was sitting straight up in bed with my heart racing.
"Rose, she was in a car accident. Sam, it's bad."
"Where are you?!"
"We're at Laughlin Memorial Hospital. Sam!"
"Calm down, okay? I'll call Lacey and I'll meet you there. Wait on me, Jo."
I threw my pajamas bottoms off and grabbed the first pair of jeans in my closet. My university hoodie was laying in my desk chair and I pulled it over my head as I grabbed my keys and my phone.
I dialed Lacey's number and prayed she would pick up. It rang multiple times and went to voicemail. Psycho calling, I redialed her number time after time as I drove to her house. Finally, she answered with the same groggy hello that I knew I had answered Jolene's call with.
"Lace, I need you to get ready. I'm coming to get you. There's been an accident," I heard my voice crack.
I tried to tell myself to remain calm. After all, I was the calm one in our group; the one who stayed level headed in the face of stress. I cleared my throat and tried again.
"Rose was in an accident. Jo's at the hospital and we have to go meet her. I'm passing by the Quick Mart on the highway so I'll be at your house in a couple minutes."
"Oh my God. Is she okay?!"
"I don't know. Just be ready."
It was Rose's mom that screamed out first. Time and space seemed to move in slow motion. I saw Jolene drop to the floor and bury her face in her hands. Lacey bent down and wrapped her arms around her and joined her in the sobbing. I don't remember how, but we all ended up sitting on a waiting room couch crying tears of unimaginable pain.
"She didn't make it," the doctor said.
Rose's car had taken a curve too fast and slammed into a light pole. The force of the impact and the amount of combustible gasoline created a bomb; the car ignited into flames before Rose even knew what happened. A man walking the sidewalk just happened to see the accident and called 911 and they were able to pull Rose's body from the wreckage. She had no life in her then, but they rushed her to the hospital anyway.
The next few hours were a blur. Rose's parents had to identify her burned body and had to make the decision of which funeral home to use. Her death seemed like a tragic, fatal, accident involving a young girl driving too fast. But since drugs and alcohol had to be ruled out, an autopsy was ordered. I was certain that substance abuse was not a factor, but the doctors and police had to be certain as well.
None of us knew what to do, or where to go. Eventually, the hospital became a prison that we all had to escape. Lacey went with Jolene back to her apartment; I was to meet them there later so none of us were alone.
There was an urge inside of me to run to Jay. The common denominator between us was that we both had experienced great loss. I knew I needed to be with my friends but all I desperately wanted was to see Jay's face and hear his voice.
I left the hospital and drove toward the other end of town. It was almost 2:30 in the morning and I assumed that both Jay and Leo would be asleep, but I risked it anyway.
I pulled up to their hidden home and got out of my car. Normally, I would do a double check of my makeup in the fold down mirror, but at that moment I didn't care what I looked like. It wasn't until I was almost up to the house that I noticed Jay standing outside. It was as if he was waiting on me.
His eyes of pure ice and his prominent scar peaked out from the dark shadows of the winter night. As I stepped closer he spoke softly.
"Samantha. What happened?"
"It's Rose, she's gone," my voice cracked.
"Come here," he reached his arms out and embraced me.
I sobbed into his chest, trying desperately to contain myself. Jay simply held me, running his hand lightly down my back.
"I knew something had happened. I felt it. There was an intense pain deep inside me and I knew it was coming from you. I sensed you were going to come by. Leo's asleep so that's why I waited outside."
Jay's ability to not only empathize but to truly experience my pain was phenomenal. Science or reason could not explain it. We sought no expectation, though; we simply accepted it as fact. As amazing as it was, it was also tragic. Because of me he not only felt double the joy and happiness but also double the pain and heartbreak. And if anyone needed heartache to be taken away, and not added, it was Jay Reese.
"How did it happen?"
"Car accident. She hit a pole and the car caught on fire."
I felt Jay tense up and I looked up to see a look of dismay on his face.
When I asked him what was wrong he simply said, "Nothing. I just can't imagine."
We stood in the cold nighttime as he comforted me. Neither of us spoke but we knew we didn't have to. The tears would stop long enough to fool me into thinking I was okay. I had to get to Lacey and Jolene but I knew I was in no shape to drive; how I got to Jay's in the first place was a mystery.
"I'll take you to your friend's. You can leave your car here and I'll come get you in the morning," he spoke as if he could read my mind.
"You don't have to. But I do appreciate that a lot."
"Anything for you," he kissed my forehead and wiped a single tear that fell down onto my cheek.
We took Leo's SUV since we both knew he wouldn't care. The whole ride Jay held my hand while the other was fixed on the steering wheel. I wondered who had taught him to drive; a strange question to think in a situation I was in.
I had to give Jay turn by turn directions but eventually we made it to Jolene's apartment. He parked the car and shut off the engine.
"I'm so sorry for what happened. If you need me, at any point, you know I will be here."
"I know. Thank you so much for everything," I squeezed his hand that rested in mine.
"Go be with your friends. They're going to need you and you're going to need them. The pain will never go away but you all can try to heal each other."
Even when filled with such sadness, Jay's words always seemed to be so eloquent. I thanked him again and told him I would get a ride to my apartment tomorrow morning where he could meet me. I kissed him once on the lips and stepped out of the SUV. Before I reached Jolene's door, I looked back. I thought of the pain Jay spoke about and I knew one thing: every ounce of hurt and despair that I felt, he was feeling deep inside of his heart too.
"Sam! Oh God, Sam. It's Rose. Oh my God," she screamed through obvious tears.
"Jo, what happened?!" I was sitting straight up in bed with my heart racing.
"Rose, she was in a car accident. Sam, it's bad."
"Where are you?!"
"We're at Laughlin Memorial Hospital. Sam!"
"Calm down, okay? I'll call Lacey and I'll meet you there. Wait on me, Jo."
I threw my pajamas bottoms off and grabbed the first pair of jeans in my closet. My university hoodie was laying in my desk chair and I pulled it over my head as I grabbed my keys and my phone.
I dialed Lacey's number and prayed she would pick up. It rang multiple times and went to voicemail. Psycho calling, I redialed her number time after time as I drove to her house. Finally, she answered with the same groggy hello that I knew I had answered Jolene's call with.
"Lace, I need you to get ready. I'm coming to get you. There's been an accident," I heard my voice crack.
I tried to tell myself to remain calm. After all, I was the calm one in our group; the one who stayed level headed in the face of stress. I cleared my throat and tried again.
"Rose was in an accident. Jo's at the hospital and we have to go meet her. I'm passing by the Quick Mart on the highway so I'll be at your house in a couple minutes."
"Oh my God. Is she okay?!"
"I don't know. Just be ready."
It was Rose's mom that screamed out first. Time and space seemed to move in slow motion. I saw Jolene drop to the floor and bury her face in her hands. Lacey bent down and wrapped her arms around her and joined her in the sobbing. I don't remember how, but we all ended up sitting on a waiting room couch crying tears of unimaginable pain.
"She didn't make it," the doctor said.
Rose's car had taken a curve too fast and slammed into a light pole. The force of the impact and the amount of combustible gasoline created a bomb; the car ignited into flames before Rose even knew what happened. A man walking the sidewalk just happened to see the accident and called 911 and they were able to pull Rose's body from the wreckage. She had no life in her then, but they rushed her to the hospital anyway.
The next few hours were a blur. Rose's parents had to identify her burned body and had to make the decision of which funeral home to use. Her death seemed like a tragic, fatal, accident involving a young girl driving too fast. But since drugs and alcohol had to be ruled out, an autopsy was ordered. I was certain that substance abuse was not a factor, but the doctors and police had to be certain as well.
None of us knew what to do, or where to go. Eventually, the hospital became a prison that we all had to escape. Lacey went with Jolene back to her apartment; I was to meet them there later so none of us were alone.
There was an urge inside of me to run to Jay. The common denominator between us was that we both had experienced great loss. I knew I needed to be with my friends but all I desperately wanted was to see Jay's face and hear his voice.
I left the hospital and drove toward the other end of town. It was almost 2:30 in the morning and I assumed that both Jay and Leo would be asleep, but I risked it anyway.
I pulled up to their hidden home and got out of my car. Normally, I would do a double check of my makeup in the fold down mirror, but at that moment I didn't care what I looked like. It wasn't until I was almost up to the house that I noticed Jay standing outside. It was as if he was waiting on me.
His eyes of pure ice and his prominent scar peaked out from the dark shadows of the winter night. As I stepped closer he spoke softly.
"Samantha. What happened?"
"It's Rose, she's gone," my voice cracked.
"Come here," he reached his arms out and embraced me.
I sobbed into his chest, trying desperately to contain myself. Jay simply held me, running his hand lightly down my back.
"I knew something had happened. I felt it. There was an intense pain deep inside me and I knew it was coming from you. I sensed you were going to come by. Leo's asleep so that's why I waited outside."
Jay's ability to not only empathize but to truly experience my pain was phenomenal. Science or reason could not explain it. We sought no expectation, though; we simply accepted it as fact. As amazing as it was, it was also tragic. Because of me he not only felt double the joy and happiness but also double the pain and heartbreak. And if anyone needed heartache to be taken away, and not added, it was Jay Reese.
"How did it happen?"
"Car accident. She hit a pole and the car caught on fire."
I felt Jay tense up and I looked up to see a look of dismay on his face.
When I asked him what was wrong he simply said, "Nothing. I just can't imagine."
We stood in the cold nighttime as he comforted me. Neither of us spoke but we knew we didn't have to. The tears would stop long enough to fool me into thinking I was okay. I had to get to Lacey and Jolene but I knew I was in no shape to drive; how I got to Jay's in the first place was a mystery.
"I'll take you to your friend's. You can leave your car here and I'll come get you in the morning," he spoke as if he could read my mind.
"You don't have to. But I do appreciate that a lot."
"Anything for you," he kissed my forehead and wiped a single tear that fell down onto my cheek.
We took Leo's SUV since we both knew he wouldn't care. The whole ride Jay held my hand while the other was fixed on the steering wheel. I wondered who had taught him to drive; a strange question to think in a situation I was in.
I had to give Jay turn by turn directions but eventually we made it to Jolene's apartment. He parked the car and shut off the engine.
"I'm so sorry for what happened. If you need me, at any point, you know I will be here."
"I know. Thank you so much for everything," I squeezed his hand that rested in mine.
"Go be with your friends. They're going to need you and you're going to need them. The pain will never go away but you all can try to heal each other."
Even when filled with such sadness, Jay's words always seemed to be so eloquent. I thanked him again and told him I would get a ride to my apartment tomorrow morning where he could meet me. I kissed him once on the lips and stepped out of the SUV. Before I reached Jolene's door, I looked back. I thought of the pain Jay spoke about and I knew one thing: every ounce of hurt and despair that I felt, he was feeling deep inside of his heart too.