When Night Breaks

I watched as he prayed; although, I couldn’t make out the words he said. I knew what was going through his mind and the blame that he placed upon himself. Jay Reese was a man who carried the weight of the entire world on his shoulders even when there were others around to help carry the load.

Julia and Cole’s accident -- in Jay’s mind -- was a direct effect of his surviving all these years. Rose’s death was because of the DNA that existed inside of him. And even Ian’s murder, no matter how evil Ian Westbrook was, happened because Jay exposed me to his true self.

But I knew better than Jay; I knew that none of these things happening were his fault. Evil existed in the world and it had worked its way into our small town. And even if Jay was at the center of the wrongdoers actions, he still was not the cause. The cause of tragedy, at least these tragedies, was that the McKenzies had long since traded their humanity in for immorality.

Jay stood up and slowly walked back to me. He smiled, weakly, and took my hand in his.

“You alright?” I asked.

“I will be,” he answered. I hadn’t expected him to be okay. Not yet.

“Do you want to go back and see them?”

“We should probably go home. The longer I’m in public, the more likely my chances of turning.”

It was a constant far of Jay’s that he would be out somewhere and the darker side of him take over. Although a gentle man by nature, when his anger was triggered he transformed into something else entirely.

I nodded in agreement; truthfully, I wanted out of the sterile hospital. They always made me nervous and feel cold and dirty. When Sawyer was killed, me and my family sat in the very chapel where Jay prayed. The doctor sat us down up front, and tried his hardest to break the news easily. But losing someone is never easy.

Shaking the memory, I walked out into the hallway behind Jay. In silence, we made our way out of the emergency room exit and back to the parking lot. Opening my door for me, Jay kept a stoic look on his face.

“What’s wrong?” I asked. A stupid question, given the circumstances.

“I’m just trying to figure out what all to take with me.”

“Take with you?” I asked as Jay walked around the SUV and got in.

“Leo and I have to change locations. If Alice is in on everything that’s happened, then her knowing where we live compromises our safety. We keep a to-go bag ready, in emergencies like these but there’s still so much I don’t want to leave behind.”

I could see the gears turning in his mind, his thoughts filling his brain in one constant stream. I reached out and touched his hand, trying to soothe the panic inside of him.

“Where will you go?”

“We have another house we got when we moved here. Haven’t set foot in it since but it’s our backup plan.”

“Where is it?” I asked, curious if maybe it was a place I had passed by a million times, never knowing who it truly belonged to.

“It’s in the next county over. A small house out in the country, away from everything. Samantha…” he began, but then paused.

“What?”

“You know that I would never ask you to give up your life, even for a day, to be with me. I wouldn’t want you to sacrifice or have to hide like I have. Right?” He looked up at me, his eyes showing pain.

“Jay, what are you getting at?”

“Something major is happening, people are getting killed. And I don’t know if it’s safe for you. So, I think it’s best you not know exactly where we’re going. Because if you come see me and you get followed back home, then I would never forgive myself,” he said.

“But…”

“No. The only other option is for you to stay with us. To pack a bag, leave your cell phone behind, leave your friends, your family, and not look back. And that’s not something I could ever ask you to do. The McKenzies are out there. It’s only a matter of time before they either catch up to me or destroy everything around me, and maybe even both. There is no telling how long it will take or if it will ever end.”

I weighed my options on how to respond. A part of me was angry that I was given a dilemma, although Jay made it clear he wasn’t wanting me to choose.

“Jay, I knew the risks I was taking with being with you. And if that means I have to hole up in some farmhouse with you until this blows over, then so be it.”

I was shocked at my own words. Never had I thought of myself as the girl who would just throw everything away for a guy. There were too many movies where the teenage girl begs the beast or monster to let her into his world. She cries that she loves him too much to let him go; that she would risk everything to live with him forever. I always laughed at those girls.

“No, Samantha. You can’t. I love you more than anything, but I cannot ask you to come with me. And I am so sorry for dragging you into all this, bringing you -- bringing us -- this far to just walk away. But you saw what they’re capable of. I can’t let them get to you, too.”

I felt a wave of anger wash over me; anger directed towards Jay because of what he was saying.

“Are you serious?” I raised my voice. His eyes widened, and I knew he was shocked at my tone. “You want to keep me safe, right? But you want to just drop me off at my apartment -- which, let’s be real, the McKenzies probably already know about -- and just leave me? To defend myself while you’re out hiding?”

“Samantha…I…”

“Jay, don’t you realize the safest place for me is with you?” He lowered his head, and I instantly regretted raising my voice at him. I knew he was only trying to do what was best. I placed my hand on his face, trailing my fingers down his cheek. He looked back up at me and I could see how torn he was inside.

“Samantha, are you sure?” he asked, his voice quiet.

“I promise.”

“Okay,” he looked away, starting the car.

We drove in silence until we were at my apartment. Shutting off the car, Jay got out and I followed suit. Quickly, we made our way up to my door and walked inside.

“Grab a suitcase or a duffel bag, or whatever. Take with you all the clothes you can fit in, any photo albums or things that mean a lot to you. Throw any makeup or beauty products or whatever in and leave your cell phone and your laptop.”

Jay spoke fast and with purpose. I was seeing a new side of him; one that was panicked and rushed. It finally hit me at how serious the situation was. I began rummaging through my things, trying to sort out the things I wanted to take and leave behind.

Pulling two suitcases -- one large and the other one smaller -- from under my bed, I unzipped them and guessed at how much each would hold. I went to my closest and pulled out the majority of my clothes. I folded t-shirts, tank tops, sweaters, jeans, leggings, plaid button ups and everything else I thought I might wear and stuffed them in the larger case. It filled quickly, but I prayed I could squeeze in a portion of my shoes.

The smaller bag was reserved for my more personal items of clothes: panties, bras, pajamas, all of which I was embarrassed for Jay to see. I threw in the stuff from my bathroom, deciding that all my eye shadow wasn’t necessary for such a trip. I walked back into my room and pulled out an old photo album and a box of keep sakes that I had collected from my parents and friends over the years.

“Okay, I’ll carry these down and put them in the car,” Jay said. “Get a trash bag and throw away anything in your refrigerator that might spoil. Drop it off in the dumpster and meet me out front.”

I nodded, and he was out the door. I did as I was asked and emptied the food into the garbage bag. Stepping out into the hallway, I took one last look at my apartment. I felt tears swell up in my eyes but I quickly wiped them away. Shutting and locking the door behind me, I breathed in deep.

Soon I made my way to the big green dumpster and tossed the bag inside. Jay pulled the car up beside me and I opened the door.

“You ready?” he asked as I climbed in and fastened my seatbelt.

“Ready,” I answered. I stole one last glance at my apartment building before turning back around in my seat. A single tear emerged from eye and I turned my head so Jay wouldn’t see it fall down onto my cheek.