Fool Like Me

I turned and faced him with a fake smile. In the moment of silence between us everything came rushing back and I realized how much I missed him. He was Alex. Alex my best friend, musician, and at one point I loved him. His unshaven face, and crooked grin. The sweetest brown eyes I had ever seen. The perfect hands and arms that fit around me perfectly. And his smell.

Alex Gaskarth smelled amazing. He smelled of home, and comfort, and all the good and bad memories he left behind. He gave me a small smile and waved. And for the first time that night I smiled a genuine smile. A twenty-three year old man had just waved at me like he was a child.

“What are you doing here?” I asked.

“Celebrating.”

I raised an eyebrow. “Oh right. Jack’s birthday.”

He rubbed the back of his neck. “Yeah. We’re doing a party this weekend but we had to celebrate the actual day.” He smiled.

“Makes sense. But why are you guys all the way out here?” I crossed my arms bracing myself against the cold.

“On the way home. We’ve been on our way back from the latest tour.”

“Ah. Well, I have to go.” Another fake smile. Tour was a touchy subject for me.

“Em, what are you doing here?”

I pursed my lips. “What did it look like, Alex?”

“Please don’t be serious.”

I looked toward the street and watched the taxi drive through the red light. “And if I am?”

“Em-”

“No. I don’t wanna hear it Alex. I need to go. I’ve got shit to do.”

“At least let me buy you a coffee or something.”

“I don’t have time.” I turned and started walking away but stopped at his next words.

“What about Jack?”

I turned to look at him. “What about him?”

“I know he misses you. So does Rian and Zack. We all do.”

I forced myself not to roll my eyes. “Your point?”

“Come to Jack’s birthday this Saturday. It would be the perfect surprise.” He half-heartedly smiled.

“I can’t.”

“Can’t or won’t?”

“Both.”

“Emily.”

“What do you want from me?”

“I’ve missed you.” He sighed. “I hate seeing you in a job like this. It isn’t you.”

“Alex-”

“Please? One night with us. Then you can disappear again. I don’t care.”

“You know I couldn’t do that.”

He tried to hide his smile. “Is that a yes.”

“No.”

“Please?”

He was biting his lip and I sighed a little. I did miss the guys. But what would they say about my current job? They were a well known, touring band and I was a stripper. I just couldn’t deal with my favorite people knowing that. I’m not proud to be a stripper. I’ll never be proud to be a stripper.

“What do the guys know?’

“What do you mean?”

“Do they know about my job? I saw them there tonight.”

“They don’t know. They were way too drunk.”

I felt the corner of my lip twitch. I should have expected that. “And why aren’t you?”

“Designated driver.” I raised my eyebrow. “I sent them all home in a cab so I could wait around for you.”

“I see.”

“I’ll buy you dinner before the party if you come.”

“Like a date?”

“It’s whatever you want to call it.”

I sighed. “Fine. I’ll go. I have one condition, though.”

“Okay?”

“If you tell any of the guys, I’ll leave. You knowing it’s embarrassing enough.”

“Em-”

“No. You don’t tell them and I will go to dinner and the party.”

He sighed and bit his lip. “Fine.” I gave him a small smile and turned to walk away. “Wait! Let me give you a ride!”

“No!” I said turning to him quickly.

“I need to know where to pick you up.”

“Here. At the club!”

“How do I get a hold of you?”

“I’ve got the same number!”

I quickly walked away before he could ask anymore questions or follow me to my apartment building. If he saw the shithole I was living in he would make me live with him and he would take pity on me. All of them would. I wasn’t going to have it. But I was going to need an outfit.

I distantly thought that Charlie might have a dress I could wear but nearly choked on my own spit when I saw the eviction notice on my door. I had a week until the landlord was going to kick me out.