Animal Instinct

Two weeks after the mate conversation, Mr. Fuller asks Adam and I to meet with him. I’m as clueless as Adam as to the purpose for the meeting. My Alpha speaks to Adam in order to set it up. It makes sense as my schedule is fairly set. I work everyday from 8 am to 6 pm. I have training with my Alpha from 7:30 until he decides to end it—which is usually around 10pm—on Monday, Wednesday, and Thursday. Adam reserved the weekend, 6 pm Friday evening until 7 am Monday morning, for himself now that I have an office job. He also takes me to lunch when he’s in town. I’m a little nervous about the meeting. I told Mr. Fuller the day after our claiming about the conversation. He said he was expecting it to happen soon and left it at that.

Popping my knuckles, I look myself over in the mirror. We have to be at the pack house in twenty minutes and I’m waiting for Adam to pick me up. I don’t know why I’m so off-kilter over this. Mr. Fuller is extremely vocal when I’ve done something wrong. But some of that scared and confused pup still exists in me, despite how far I’ve come in my training. My first reaction is to cower and beg my Alpha not to kick me out of the pack. Thankfully, my wolf calms me in that respect. If I was going to be ostracized, my wolf instincts would pick up on the negativity of the pack toward me. Which there is none. Everyone is as nice as ever. Some are even more friendly now than they used to be.

“No teal and white today?” I jump slightly at the sound of Adam’s voice before turning to give him the stink eye. Two days after our conversation, Adam suggested we trade keys. I was a little hesitant to give him a key to my apartment, but he pulled out the wife card and didn’t stop until I agreed. I’ve only used mine to bring his mail in while he’s gone. Adam, on the other hand, takes full advantage of having a key to my place. I’ve come home from work to find him resting on my couch or cooking me dinner. The new dynamic to our relationship was slightly unsettling at first, but I’ve adjusted to him simply walking into my home whenever he feels like it.

His mischievous smile sparks my arousal. He crosses the room toward me, pulling me into a tight hug. All the work I did straightening my outfit and fixing my hair is undone as Adam practically wraps himself about me. His hand slips into my curls at the base of my head and gently presses my face into the center of his chest. On instinct, I inhale deeply and can feel the tension leaving my shoulders. Part of me wants to be upset that I’m basically putty when Adam holds me like this. I’m a top predator, a fierce hunter. But in the arms of my boyfriend, I’m no better than an oversized lapdog. I press myself closer to him, sniffing him again. That ever present underlying scent of ice has to be a natural pheromone. I wonder if every hockey player exudes that scent. I doubt Adam will let me get close enough to his teammates to find out. Recalling how much Niemi seemed to enjoy picking on Adam, I think he’d let me sniff him.

Adam tilts my head up gently before kissing me. The scent of my own arousal is almost overwhelming at this point so I don’t let the kiss linger for too long. If we stay like this for much longer, I’m afraid the Hills will smell it from four floors down.

“No. My Rangers are playing tonight down in LA. I can’t be there, but I can still show my support.” Adam scowls, turning toward my closet. Since we’ve met, he’s been trying to convince me that my favorite team is whichever one he’s playing on. The first time he told me that, I told him to shove it and that I would always bleed blue. Rather than let him rummage through my clothes, I pull Adam out of my room. “We don’t have time for your hissy fit. We have a meeting with my Alpha, who is not someone to be kept waiting.”

“Yeah. Yeah.” He laces our fingers together as I grab my purse off the side table near my door and slip on my flip flops. Mr. Hill is just getting home when we get downstairs. He gives me a pointed look before smiling at Adam. I can’t stop the flush that rises into my cheeks. There’s a lingering scent of arousal following us. I’m a little confused by it because it’s never lasted this long. The trek down the stairs should have worked it out of me since I was focusing on not tripping as Adam picked on me.

Adam helps me into his truck, stealing a kiss as he does. Which is something he’s been doing more often these past two weeks. I’m not complaining about it, but I never thought of Adam as being one half of an over-affectionate couple. Public displays of affection haven’t been an issue in our relationship. Sure, Adam has an issue with personal space when it comes to me, but it’s never been borderline inappropriate until this last two weeks. When we’re out at lunch, his hand rests higher on my thigh than socially acceptable. When we’re sitting on the couch after dinner, he’ll pull me to straddle him so we can cuddle. At night when he sleeps over, his body completely wraps around mine. His touches aren’t sexual. I feel nothing but claimed when he does it. I cherish that feeling because it’s more intense than the pack feeling that constantly surrounds me. My relationship with Adam is something that’s mine alone; no one else can feel what we feel. It does make me wonder what it would be like to be mated to another were, but the enveloping sense of Adam’s dominance is a comfort I wouldn’t trade.

The ride to Mr. Fuller’s is spent discussing the Rangers/Kings match up. Adam rolls his eyes when my phone sends an ESPN alert about the game starting so I read that and the subsequent NHL GameCenter update aloud. He isn’t amused by it. My nerves return when we park in the driveway. As I wait for Adam to come open my door, I count seven cars. I recognize Alec’s and Mrs. Hill’s.

“Are you sure Mr. Fuller agreed to today? It seems like he’s already got something going on.”

Adam shrugs, “He’s your Alpha. I just know this is one of the times I said I was free and it’s the one he chose.” He grins at me before leading the way up the walkway. I pop my knuckles as I follow. Adam takes my hand in his. “That’s a nasty habit. You’re joints are going to swell and you’ll get arthritis.” I look him in the eyes while popping the knuckles on my other hand. “You’re such a brat.” I smirk as I dig out my key and open the door. Adam crowds me in the doorway and I elbow him in the ribs gently.

“And I’m the brat….” His hand traces up my spine before tangling in my curls. This is another new touch Adam’s added to our relationship. Part of me wants to point out how bad it looks for him to hold me by the back of the neck. But the other side of me realizes that he does it when he’s feeling especially territorial. Since the mate talk, the territorial tinge to his dominance has increased. If Adam had a wolf, I’m sure it would be growling right now—something low and warning to let people know that I’m his mate. Because that possessiveness shows itself around guys Adam knows or believes I find attractive, I’ve gotten the sense that he’s growling a few times. I lean into him as we walk toward the dining room. His hand slips down to encircle my waist.

When we enter the dining room, I frown in confusion. Other than Mr. Fuller, Alec, Mrs. Hill, and a couple of my pack friends, I don’t know anyone milling about. It’s clear to see who are the couples though. A tall, tan man with obsidian hair steals sporadic glances at a petite red head who is talking with Alec, while he is in conversation with a Viking look alike. The Viking has his body angled toward the slender African American woman standing by Mrs. Hill. The couple talking with Mr. Fuller have to be of Scottish decent as the man is wearing a kilt. A few of my other pack friends are gathered and spread around the room. I even spot Marhysole as she takes a drink to Mr. Fuller. My wolf recognizes the people I don’t know as pack, but I’m not sure what to do with that information. I don’t know what reason they have for being here and I’m beginning to think Adam got the days mixed up. Before I can suggest to Adam that we leave, Mr. Fuller is heading toward us.

“Gracie. Adam. Good of you to join us. Even if you’re a few minutes late.” He smiles, pulling me into a hug. I hug back, surprised. This is most certainly a new development in our relationship. I can also feel Adam’s dominance roll over both of us and I’m once again struck with the notion that he’s growling. When I look at him, he’s nothing but smiles. Regardless, I’m sure Mr. Fuller can feel Adam’s dominance and territorial emotions broiling. My Alpha surprises me further by pulling Adam into a side hug and clapping him on the back once he’s released me. As Adam chuckles, I feel his surprise.

“Sorry for our lateness, Alpha.” Mr. Fuller waves off my apology. This convinces me that something is wrong. “Alpha…are you alright?” He’s smiling, hugging me, and calling me Gracie in front of other people. Something has to be wrong. Maybe he’s sick? Which would be strange in itself as it’s difficult for weres to get human illnesses, or animal ones for that matter. The wolf and human immune systems mesh in a weird way which makes it challenging for us to suffer from an illness for more than an hour.

“I’m fine, Gracelyn.” Mr. Fuller’s tone is light and teasing as he says this. “Though I do believe I have some introductions to make…” He leads Adam and I over to the Scottish looking couple he had been talking to. “This is Greyson and Abigail Finley. I believe you’ve spoken to them once or twice.” I nod, shaking hands with both of them. They’re one of the human-were mate pairs that I got in touch with when trying to figure out how to talk to Adam. Greyson’s eyes are the most striking thing about him. They’re a bright cobalt blue. Abby’s comment about his eyes pulling her in makes sense now.

“It’s nice to meet you in person.” Well, his eyes were the most striking thing about him. His accent is hardly noticeable, but his speech has a different cadence than the average American’s. I didn’t hear it when talking to him on the phone, but he wasn’t excited the few times I spoke with him prior to today. Now, his pent up energy has him bouncing on his toes slightly. Abby has an amused air about her as she stands calmly next to her husband.

“Sorry about him. He’s still a pup when it comes to this stuff.” Her soft voice reminds me of a breeze drifting through green leaves. Greyson snorts but doesn’t comment on his wife’s jab. Before we can really start a conversation, Mr. Fuller directs our attention to another couple: the obsidian haired man and petite red head. Standing closer, the man seems to be Latin American. Nothing about his clothing gives a clue as he’s in dress slacks and a fitted light green button down shirt. His wife’s dress is the same pastel green. Mr. Fuller introduces them as the LeValles, Michael and Katrina. Another human-were mate pair I’ve spoken to. At this point, I take a second to fill Adam in. I’m not sure why they’re here, but I think it’d be nice for Adam to know that humans marrying werewolves isn’t abnormal. I don’t think he honestly ever gave it a second thought, but now he knows he has someone who can relate.

The third couple we meet spark a familiar feeling in me as they approach us. The man is tall, blonde, and broad of shoulder. He even has a braid peeking out of the underside of his slightly unruly hair. He’s the picture of a Norseman. The woman at his side is his complete opposite. Where he is all Northern winter, she is summer at the equator. Her dark skin if offset by her hazel eyes. I have to admit that I’m a little jealous of how tame her curly hair seems to be. The up-do she manages would leave my hair in knots. Before Mr. Fuller can introduce them, the man is lifting me into a hug. I return the gesture out of reflex and because he’s lifted me off the ground. Adam’s dominance spikes dangerously and my wolf hums. I can feel my cheeks heat up as my own scent hits my nose. I can also hear Alec make the noise in the back of his throat meaning every wolf in the room can smell it. The man holding me carefully sets me down, but the smile never leaves his face. As soon as I’m steady on my feet, Adam pulls me back into his chest.

Mr. Fuller’s amusement is clear on his face as he introduces the pair. “Gracie, Adam, this is Marco and Stacey Halvorson.”

“What?” I give Marco a once over. “How did your parent’s pick Marco? Can I be completely racist for a second and say you should be name like Leif or Sven or something.”

The laugh that leaves Marco is one I’ve heard over the phone a lot the last week. “I get that a lot. My mother is a full-blooded Spanish woman. Marco is a family name.” He grins. “I’m the only one that got zero of the physical genetics from her. Imagine family portraits.”

“Oh…Well now that I’ve stuck my foot in it.”

“No worries, I think Marco did that when he set off your mate’s protectiveness.” Stacey grins, slipping her arm through Marco’s. “I’m not even a wolf and I could feel the tension rise.”

“Yet. You’re not a wolf yet.” Marco stresses the word ‘yet’ dramatically causing Stacey to rolls her eyes. This is why they felt familiar. After the initial questioning and awkwardness, the three of us became friends. Stacey once told me that everyone Marco meets is a friend after five minutes. In the same breath she told me that she was his girlfriend after ten—even though he denies this. They remind me so much of Adam and I.

“Adam…” I turn in his arms, forcing him to look down at me. “Play nice.” He hasn’t said a word to either of them and his dominance hasn’t settled back down. I trail my hand over his bicep, keeping eye contact. I want him to get along with Marco. I want him to get along with my pack. He can’t do that if he’s challenging people for even glancing at me. Adam’s hand slips into my curls as he massages the base of my neck. I drop my head to his chest as he hugs me. It takes a few minutes, but once I feel his emotions settling down, I lean back to regain eye contact.

He smiles at me before shaking hands with Marco and Stacey. “Nice to meet both of you.” I move to his side as he greets them. Apparently Adam and I still have things to talk about. Like his dominance. I’ll have to talk to Mr. Fuller about it. Adam needs lessons on controlling it. He’s human and if it spikes at the wrong time, it could get him in trouble. But how do you quiet the growls of a man who has no inner wolf?

“Now that introductions have been made, let us come to the reason we’re all here.” Mr. Fuller raises his voice slightly, catching the attention of everyone in the room. “Today, we are here to celebrate the union of one of our own.” My eyes widen slightly. Mr. Fuller smiles at me as he continues speaking. “Today we celebrate Gracelyn King’s mateship to Adam Burish.”

Adam pulls me closer, leaning slightly to whisper, “Is this a wedding reception?” From the way Marco laughs, I can tell he heard. I pop my knuckles as I nod. That’s essentially what this is. There’s been one bonding since I joined this pack and I was the babysitter for the night. It hadn’t crossed my mind that Mr. Fuller might plan a party for me and Adam.

Adam grins for the first time since we arrived and I can tell it means I’m in for it. I’ve spent the last two weeks ignoring him when he calls me his wife or fiancée. My pack throwing a party to celebrate our mateship is just going to encourage him. Something tells me that I’ll be planning a normal wedding in less than a year. Adam’s already been hinting at us living together because—in his words—we’re already married. I’ve been able to hold him off by reminding him that my lease isn’t up for another six months. Despite realizing that moving so fast with our relationship is fairly normal, I’m still holding out hope that Adam will slow it down. He knows he’s my mate. He knows I’m not leaving him. So there’s no reason for him to continue to be so intense when it comes to settling things between us. The comment I made to Mrs. Hill about having an entire relationship in a hockey season comes to mind. If Adam gets his way, part of me thinks we’ll manage it.

Shaking myself out of my serious thoughts, I lead Adam around the room, introducing him to some of my other pack friends. They all give me a look when they experience his rolling dominance and I remain at a loss on how to explain it. Adam is completely human, but there’s something about him that isn’t. While Adam is preoccupied with Alec, Michael, Greyson, and Mr. Hill—who arrived shortly after us— Marco pulls me aside to discuss this dominance thing with Mr. Fuller.

“It’s not that I don’t like Adam. I do. He’s personable and obviously cares about Gracelyn. I just… I don’t know that turning him will ever be a good idea.” Marco’s eyebrows pull closer together as he speaks.

“Whoa. What? Turning—I’m not going to turn him. He’s a professional athlete.” I scowl when Marco looks surprised. “That would be an unfair advantage for him.”

“It’s not his job that surprises Marco, Gracie.” Mr. Fuller smiles at me. “It’s more the level of conviction with which you made your claim. Is Adam’s job the only reason you have no plans to turn him?”

“Why would I?” I look between them.

“Because he’s your mate. Because this is something we all want to share with the one we’re in love with.” Marco goes on but I don’t hear any of it. For some reason the room is tilting to the left and I have the immediate need to sit down. I can also feel beads of sweat forming on my forehead. I think I’m getting sick. I have to be. Which makes no sense because I’m werewolf and we don’t get sick. Just as my vision starts to black out, I’m overwhelmed by Adam’s scent. As I burry my head into his chest, I focus on the feel of his hand in my curls and his scent. I can feel my wolf laughing at me for the ten minutes it takes me to feel normal again. I inhale his scent deeply once before finally pulling away from him. His concern rolls off him in waves.

“I’m alright Adam.” I smile to reassure him. Instead of responding, he moves toward one of the tables and makes me sit. Once he’s sure I’m not going to fall out of the chair if he lets me go, he moves toward the kitchen. Alec plops down in the seat across from me.

“Do you always have to be so dramatic? Did you get an update about the Rangers game that you didn’t like?”

I roll my eyes. “No, you butt-face. I just…got dizzy.”

“Are you pregnant?” He winks at me.

I give him a dark look, “Currently not possible.” Adam comes back with a cup of juice and a plate of fries. I smile at him as he sets both in front of me. “I don’t know why I got dizzy. But I did. And now I’m not dizzy so I’m fine. So you can both stop fussing over me.” I can feel Alec’s worry. In fact I can feel the worry from pretty much everyone in the room. I sigh as I sip my juice and eat a few fries. I don’t know what happened or why, but I feel perfectly fine. Hopefully the wolves around me start picking up on that and relax.

Mr. Fuller strides over to us when I’m nearly done with my fries. His expression is set to serious so I sit up a little straighter. But it’s not me he comes to talk to. He asks Adam if they can talk in his office. I guess Adam sees the same thing in Mr. Fuller’s face that I did because he agrees immediately. After kissing me gently, he asks Alec to make sure I don’t get overstimulated and follows my Alpha out of the room.

Stacey and Marco join my table as they leave. “So…are you pregnant?” Stacey wiggles her eyebrows.

I growl. “No. It’s hard to be pregnant when you haven’t had sex.”

Marco starts laughing. “That’s rich.” I look at him. “Oh come on. There’s no way you two haven’t sealed the deal.”

I raise an eyebrow, “And why do you say that?”

“Um, hello. He’s treating you like you’re well into a pregnancy,” Marco rolls his eyes while his tone implies I’m an idiot.

“Um, hello. We’ve only been together a little under four months. And two of those months have been spent letting Adam adjust to the fact that I’m a werewolf. And he travels a lot with the team. And it just hasn’t come up. We barely even spend the night together.”

“Okay, I’m going to get rid of one of those reason right now,” Alec leans on the table. “It took Adam less than a week to get used to you being a werewolf.” I start to argue with him but have to stop myself. Sure, Adam spent a whole month asking me all sorts of questions, but he wasn’t freaking out over it. After the initial shock wore off, he was treating me much like he had those first two weeks of us knowing each other. And it only took a couple weeks for us to settle back into the comfort of dating. The truth was, I spent two month arguing with my wolf over wanting to claim him as a mate. She refused to call him anything but our mate and I struggled with even calling him my boyfriend.

I sigh, “Okay…it honestly hasn’t come into our conversations.”

Alec snorts. “Conversations? Who has a conversation about that? With the way your hormones spark around him, I thought it would have happened as soon as you didn’t need a chaperone.”

“Even more so now with you being in heat. I smelled it as soon as you walked in.” Marco makes a face.

“Um, what?” I look between both men confused.

“Gracelyn, seriously?” Alec stares at me. When I return his blank look, he groans. “What do you know about mates?”

“What’s that have to do—”

“Just answer the question, Gracelyn.” Marco cuts me off.

I scowl at both of them as I think for a few minutes. “Being mated means your wolf has recognized in someone else the right mixture of traits most likely to produce viable offspring.”

Marco snorts. “My wife is the most beautiful woman I have or will ever see. But I did not marry her just because she has good ‘birthing hips.’ She’s my mate because she is the best person for me as a whole.”

I make a face. “If you start in on that ‘she completes me’ crap, I might just throw up.”

He rolls his eyes. “I am a complete person apart from my relationship with Stacey. I don’t need her to complete my soul or any of that bullshit people try to pass off as love. That is unhealthy codependency and emotional leeching.” Stacey laughs, kissing his cheek. Apparently they’ve had this discussion before. The way he smiles at her makes my stomach twist slightly. The emotion surrounding both of them is something I feel whenever I’m in the room with the Hills. I never gave it much thought before, but if I had to label it, I would call it love. It feels like desire. But not lustful—though that is present in the emotion. There’s a lot of emotions rolled into what they’re feeling. Maybe that’s why I never tried to figure it out or label it. Each facet of the emotion leads down another trail of positive emotions, but they’re all linked to the thought, sight, or scent of one person.

“What else do you know about mates?” Alec brings us all back to the conversation.

“Uh…I don’t know. Being mated is basically being married. Our wolves chose one person to mate with.”

Alec shares a look with Marco before shaking his head, “You really don’t know anything.”

Marco sighs, “I see we still have a lot to talk about.” I glare at him. “We do. But I think I should tell you about this part first. You’re in heat. For our full wolf counterparts, the she-wolf goes into heat before being mated—letting off pheromones that tell male wolves she’s ready to find a mate. For us, it can happen before or after. But being in heat means you’re ready to sex it up.”

I feel my face scrunch up. “So you’re telling me that I’m horny and you can all smell it.” Alec starts coughing while Stacey just laughs. Marco shrugs, nodding. “Well I knew that. I mean, I’ve had a physical reaction to Adam since our first meeting. He’s attractive.”

“It intensifies once you’ve claimed a mate. So that scent won’t go away until you two have sex. Lots of it.” I feel my face heat up. I think I just found something I don’t like about being a werewolf. Everyone’s going to know when Adam and I finally have sex. Awkward. Though they all seem to think Adam and I have been intimate so maybe it won’t be so bad.

I pop my knuckles as I finish my juice. I don’t know why they’re having this conversation with me and decide to say so. The only seemingly new information they’ve told me is about going into heat.

“Gracelyn, you talk about mates in such a cold, logical way. There’s no passion when you say the word. That’s why we’re having this conversation. I guess it’s just hard to explain the love that’s involved in a mating or to make someone show it.”There’s a lot of passion in Marco’s voice right now but I can’t focus on it. I feel the room tilting again and drop my head to the table. “Gracelyn?” Worry rolls off all three of them.

“I’m fine. I just got a little dizzy again.”

I feel someone shift closer to me and from the smell, I can tell it’s Stacey. “Girl, I think I know what you’re problem is.”

“Please let me in on the secret. Because I have no clue why I keep getting dizzy.”

“I need you to answer a couple questions about your relationship with Adam first.” I move my head slightly so I can look at her. The wolf in me is baring her teeth. Marco starts to pulls Stacey back toward him, but she swats him away. “I am a happily mated woman. So whatever your wolf is thinking, she can stop. I just want to help.” I put my head back down and take a few minutes to sooth my wolf. Apparently being mated is going to increase the protectiveness, not decrease it like I had hoped.

“Alright. What do you want to know?”

“How often do you two talk about your feelings for each other?”

I look at her confused. “We don’t. Not really. I think it’s happened two or three times.”

“Why?” Stacey leans a little closer, narrowing her eyes.

“We just don’t.”

She sighs. “Tell me about the times you have spoken about it.”

Before I can answer, Adam and Mr. Fuller come back. Adam sits in the chair next to me, scooting it so close that the line of our bodies is touching. His hand initially goes into my curls before he moves it to rest high on my thigh. I turn my head enough so that I can smile at him and he leans over to kiss my temple. Feeling a little better, I sit up fully. Mr. Fuller has also taken a seat at the table with us. He’s sitting slightly apart from us though. The distance isn’t cold, but a reminder that he is our Alpha.

“What are you four talking about?” Mr. Fuller raises an eyebrow.

“Stacey here thinks she knows why I’m randomly getting dizzy.”

Adam pulls me into his side, “It happened again?” The worry in his tone is tinged with fear.

“I’m fine.” I can feel that he doesn’t believe me but he’s not going to push it. I look back at Stacey, “To answer your question, we’ve discussed it once about two weeks after we met and mentioned it the couple times we had serious conversations about being mates.” Alec, Marco, and Stacey all stare at Adam and I. Their disbelief is palpable but I don’t know why their so shocked. “Why does it seem like this is a bigger deal than I think it is?”

“You two literally don’t talk about your feelings for each other?” Marco looks between me and Adam with slight disgust on his face. “How is that even possible?”

“He told me he likes me and his actions have more than proved that. Why would we have to keep talking about something we already know?”

Mr. Fuller and Adam share a look and I frown. Whatever conversation they had seemed to settle something between them because Adam’s usual underlying hostility toward him isn’t drowning all of us.

“Thank you for trying to help Stacey, but I think this is conversation Gracelyn and I need to have in private.” Adam smiles at her. She shrugs, shifting back so she’s seated by her husband. Why does everyone know what’s going on except me?

The rest of the party is actually fun. Once we move past my dizzy spells, Mrs. Hill sets up games for us all. One of them is a shoddy version of The Newlywed Game. Even though the other human-were mate pairs have been mated longer than Adam and I, they play too. The shocker is that Adam and I hold our own against them. I find myself slightly surprised at just how much Adam and I know about each other after three months of dating. After the games, everyone gives Adam and I presents. It’s not lost on me that most of what we receive could double as housewarming gifts. The smugness radiating off Adam tells me we’ll be having a fairly lengthy conversation later tonight centered around living together.

Though I genuinely enjoy the night, I can’t help but to see the other side to all this. My life, the life I built for myself, is crumbling. It’s not just me anymore. It hasn’t been just me for the last three months, but before the mate conversation with Adam, I could pretend that it was. I realize that I’ve been holding onto the fear that Adam would change his mind. I’ve been so worried about giving him a choice that my mind has been lagging behind my heart. I should have caught on when he wanted a firm commitment after two weeks, but I guess I didn’t want to see reality.

It seems reality is tired of being ignored, because our conversation starts as soon as we finish packing our gifts into Adam’s truck. Adam lifts me onto the edge of the trunk, standing between my legs. I raise an eyebrow at his actions, but get comfortable anyway. The tension his body holds makes his muscles warm. Before he says anything, Adam kisses me. It catches me a little off guard. Our kisses prior have been fairly tame. Yes, I’ve been overcome by the scent of my own arousal each time he’s kissed me and I’ve been left breathless, but this one has more emotion flowing through it than the others. One of his hands moves to the base of my neck while the other rests on my hip. My senses start to short circuit as he kisses me. I don’t know what to focus on—the feel of his hands on my body or his lips. Or do I give more attention to the emotions he’s letting show? I have to pull away from him to ground myself. I scoot back into his truck slightly so our bodies aren’t touching.

“Gracelyn.” Adam pulls me back toward him. His voice is laced with lust and that part of me that always reacts to him clenches. My lower back tingles and my stomach feels like it’s sitting at my knees. “Grace, look at me.”

I lift my eyes to meet his even though I’m not ready. He’s scent is still a mix of emotions. I try to calm myself though I know it’s not going to work. “Shouldn’t we head to yours to drop this stuff off?” I want to stall this conversation as long as possible. I can feel my wolf’s disapproval as I tramp down all the emotions rolling through me.

“I think we should go to yours to get some of your clothes. Then we’ll go to my place.” Something has Adam disgruntled, but I’m not sure what.

“You kind of have to let me get into the passenger seat, Adam.” He doesn’t move. “Adam?” I poke his bicep. He pulls me against him, making sure our bodies touch as much as possible. One of his hands slips under my shirt, pressing against my back and I gasp. That part of me never loosened but somehow manages to clench tighter and I’m hug Adam closer. I’ve had a physical reaction to Adam since day one, but I’ve never felt so out of control. I’m starting to really understand what being in heat means and I don’t know if I’ll make it through the next hour let alone a night in Adam’s bed. Because with the way he’s touching me, I can tell he’s not going to let me go back to my apartment tonight.

“Gracelyn…” Rather than finish his sentence, Adam lifts me out of the truck. One of his arms goes under my butt while the other stays wrapped around my back. I have to wrap my legs around his hips as he walks toward the passenger side of his truck. He carefully opens the door before setting me in my seat. Once we lose body contact, my mind clears a little. I don’t know why he’s doing this to me. This is beyond the flirty and playful touches and gazes we’ve shared since we met. I know he’s physically attracted to me, but he’s never been so straightforward about it. Especially after I told him about my being a werewolf. He’s always been careful to help me maintain my emotional control so I wouldn’t shift unexpectedly. But now I feel like he’s teasing me and trying to elicit a shift.

The sound of the trunk shutting causes me to jump slightly. Shortly after, Adam is in the driver’s seat and starting the truck. Once we’re on the road, he takes my hand in his tightly.

When we make it to Adam’s house, the only thing he gets out of the trunk is my bag. I pop my knuckles as he opens my door and helps me out of his truck. At the door, he makes me use my key to let us in. I give him a look for it, but he simply smiles at me. Once inside, he suggests I take a seat in the living room while he takes my bag upstairs. Grateful for the chance to further collect myself, I agree and go to the living room. I flop down the couch and throw my arm over my eyes. Whatever conversation Adam wants to have, I don’t want to be a part of it. Judging from the way he kissed me, this conversation is going to scramble my senses. I came to enough realizations on my own tonight. I’m not ready for any more. But knowing Adam, I don’t have a choice.

Adam comes back ten minutes later. “Gracelyn.” The lust that choked his voice early has settled slightly. Taking that as a good sign, I sit up to make room for him on the couch. I pull one leg under me and turn to face him as he sits. “I’m not sure where to start.”

“Me either. I don’t even know what we’re supposed to be discussing.” Adam chuckles and pulls one of my curls. “So…what was that in the back of your truck?”

“That? That was me kissing my wife.” He smirks as he takes my hand in his.

“Adam.” I can’t help the exasperation in my voice.

“What?” He looks at me blankly. “That’s what you are. You’re my wife. Today just cemented that fact. Gracelyn, two weeks ago, we determined that I’m your mate. Today your pack celebrated that in what was essentially a wedding reception. Why does it bother you so much that I call you my wife?” There’s a slight bit of hurt in his voice.

“I don’t know. I just…it’s…” I groan. I don’t know why it bothers me. “You just sound so sure. Confident. You’re confident when you say it. And it gets to me.”

“But why?”

I pop my knuckles as I try to put my feelings into words. “Adam, this all happened faster than I expected—”

“Do you regret it?” I can smell the fear that’s growing in him.

“No.” I say this with as much confidence as I can. Because I don’t regret it. “I haven’t had time to adjust, Adam. Not only have I found myself in the most serious relationship I’ve ever had, but I’ve been learning more and more about myself as a werewolf and trying to understand what that means. Since you entered my life, nothing about it has been slow or settled.”

He lets the silence linger for a few minutes. I don’t think either of us realized how fast paced our lives have been since we met. Adam’s life moves at warp speed during hockey season and I fell right into it. Not only that, but my life seems to have picked up speed to match his. I was content being the pack babysitter before I met him. Now I’m moving up in the pack rank and have the kind of job I’ve always wanted. I also have a boyfriend, a mate, who constantly pushes me toward greater things.

“Do you want to slow things down? I don’t really know how we’d do that considering the current state of things, but we could try.”

“I don’t think it’s possible to slow things down. And I can tell that wouldn’t make you all that happy.”

He smiles. “No. It wouldn’t. I don’t want to see less of you or go back to that first couple weeks where we barely touched each other.” I nod, knowing I wouldn’t want that either. Even though I’m not sure what I do want right now, I know that I like where we are now. Despite the fact that I’m continuously off-kilter and close to drowning in everything that’s happening. I enjoy being this close to Adam. “I spoke with Martin about something after you got dizzy and I think I know what’s going on.”

“Since when do you call him Martin?” I scrunch my nose hearing my Alpha’s name come from Adam’s lips.

“Since he asked me to, you butt.” He pulls one of my curls and I shove his hand away laughing. “Anyway. I think your friend Stacey figured it out too. Gracelyn, we haven’t spent much time checking in with each other emotionally to make sure we’re on the same page.”

“Considering where we are, I didn’t think we’d need to.”

He stares at me. “We need to. You’re still using the term ‘like’ to describe our feelings. I think we both know it’s deeper than that.” He really can’t ease into some topics. I feel my mouth go dry as he watches me. I can feel the dizziness coming on again. Before it can take hold, Adam pulls me into his lap. I nuzzle my face into the side of his neck as his hand slinks into my curls. “Gracelyn. Honey. You really don’t react well to this, do you?” I cuddle closer to him. “We need to say it, Gracelyn.”

“Say what?” The words are floating on the edge of my conscious but I don’t reach out to grab them. Is this really where we are?

“Gracelyn.” His free hand slips under the back of my shirt and presses me closer to him.

“Why do we have to? Isn’t it obvious? I mean, I claimed you and you accepted it.”

His voice softens as he answers. “Gracelyn, you get dizzy whenever someone hints at it. Despite everything we’ve been through, you’re still struggling to express your emotions. It’s all logic with you. I didn’t care before because I knew without you saying it, but Martin pointed out how it’s hindering us.” He pulls me away from him so he can look in my eyes.

I hadn’t wanted to think about it before but I know he’s right. This is one of the things I’ve been holding on to and it’s kept us from fully settling into our relationship. I’ve kept this mental wall up between us out of fear while my heart went all in months ago. I keep trying to slow us down in order to put off the inevitable.

“I know. And I don’t know why I’m stalling this.”

“Maybe for the same reason I’ve been letting it slide. It isn't the first time either of us have heard it, but it’s the first time we have so much evidence of it being true. I told you before that this feeling is bone deep.”

“Yeah. It is. ‘Like’ doesn’t reach that far.”

He laughs, “No, it doesn’t. Only love does.” He grins and I can feel my arousal in my underwear. Which is a first. Adam takes a deep breath before continuing. “I love you Gracelyn.”

“I love you too Adam.” He kisses me as soon as I’ve finished speaking.