Trouble

“You have the worst timing ever,” I told him seriously when I answered the door the next morning. “None of the girls are here.”

“What?” Liam groaned. “If I told them I’d be here, why did they make other plans?”

“Because they’re kids. The second you left, you slipped their minds. Claudia’s with one of her friends at the mall, Marisol has a play date, and Esperanza has a real date.”

“I feel so unimportant,” he grumbled, crossing his arms in front of his chest like an irritated toddler. “Am I still allowed to come in, or what?”

I shrugged and stepped to the side, allowing him access to the living room. He immediately made himself at home, making a beeline for the couch, plopping down and spreading his arms along the back.

I sat as far away from him as I could so it didn’t seem like his arm was around me. The silence between us was ridiculously awkward, since I knew exactly what he wanted to talk about, but I couldn’t figure out a gentle way to get the ball rolling.

After a painful few minutes, Liam ended up taking over, clearing his throat and shifting in his seat uncomfortably before saying, “So the kiss.”

“What about it?”

He gave me a condescending look before sighing. “Sol, you know what I mean. Where does that take us? Are things going to change? Or are we still just…whatever we are. I’m not even sure we’re friends.”

“I guess we’re friends…kind of,” I answered. “But I don’t know if I want things to change. I’m not in a good place for a relationship. And while I don’t really regret that you kissed me-”

“Win for me,” he interrupted smugly, shifting in his seat cockily.

I glared at him for a second before continuing, “I’m just not sure we should really take this any further.”

“Are you sure?” he whispered. “Look, I guess this isn’t a secret, but I’ll say it anyway: I really like you. I’ve told you before that I think you’re interesting, but you’re so much more than that. You’re beautiful, you’re unbelievably strong, you’re loyal…you’re everything positive in the world. And while you have some downsides to your personality, too, I’m willing to work with them.”

“Oh, aren’t you just a charmer?” I replied drily, shaking my head. He’d started off strong, but then he just kind of set his whole attempt at advancing our relationship on fire. In the bad way. “Liam, that’s sweet of you to think that, but I don’t do relationships.”

“Wait, are you not in a good place for a relationship, or do you not do relationships?”

“What’s the difference?”

“If you’re not in a good place for a relationship, there’s nothing I can do about that. I can’t fight you about your emotional state. But if you don’t do relationships, then I can change your mind and show you that I’m different.”

“No guy is different,” I insisted. “But if you have to know the answer, it’s kind of both. So good luck with that one.”

“I can work with it.”

“No, you can’t.”

Liam let out a long sigh as he pulled his legs toward him, sitting Indian-style as he turned to face me. “Alright, let’s do something. You tell me why you don’t do relationships, and I’ll tell you something about me.”

I shook my head emphatically. “No. I’m not telling you anything. I told you yesterday that I don’t trust you, and I meant it. I’m not going to go back on what I said now.”

“If you don’t trust me to be around your sisters, that’s fine. But trust me enough to confide in me. Seriously, how bad could it be?”

He had no fucking idea how intense my secret was, and I really didn’t want to share it with him.

“What if I tell you mine first?” Liam suggested, raising his thick eyebrows. “Will that make you change your mind?”

“Definitely not.”

But no matter what I answered, it was clear in Liam’s eyes that he knew what he was going to share, and he was going to tell me, whether I liked it or not. “So do you remember how I told you that I was bullied when I was a kid?”

“And then you learned boxing,” I finished before cringing. I had no idea how that had saved into my memory banks, but I wasn’t really in the mood to question it.

“One time, I got beaten really bad while the other kids were passing to their next classes. Right before the bell rang, they cornered me, and they beat the shit out of me. There were three or four of them, so even though I knew a bit of boxing at that point, I had no prayer of fighting back.

“So after what seemed like an hour, though it was probably only a couple minutes, I was lying there in the middle of the hallway, bleeding from the nose, cheek, and mouth. I’d spit out one of my molars, which was a gross experience, and I felt like I was going to die.”

Although it pained me to hear that Liam had been beaten so brutally, him thinking that he was going to die seemed a little dramatic to me. He was a kid, of course, so maybe that could excuse it, but Alejo had half his mouth beaten out by the time he was eight. Different backgrounds, I guessed.

“I was just about to call out to someone to help me, even though I knew it would come out as a quiet croak, but they wouldn’t let me. Without a warning or anything, they shoved me into the nearest open locker and locked me in.”

“Oh my God,” I breathed. “What happened next?”

He smirked at the knowledge that his story had actually interested me, but it was short-lived. The reality of recounting his story was hard for him, even if he was just talking to me. “It was torture. No one walked through that hallway anytime in the next hour. My stomach was turning from hunger, and since they hit my head as hard as they did, I ended up puking on myself and all over the rest of the stuff in the locker I got stuffed in. At some point, I passed out, and I don’t remember getting found or going to the hospital. But that’s when my father signed me up for more boxing lessons, realizing that I wasn’t kidding about how bad it was for me at school.”

“Liam, that’s horrible,” I stated. My own stomach was starting to feel uneasy at the story, which was shocking to me. I’d seen people get killed in front of me, I’d watched drug addicts do unspeakable things in the streets, and so many other things that would make Liam’s story pale in comparison. My life had been far from easy, and I’d grown jaded toward a lot of things. But there was just something about Liam’s tale that made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up with disgust.

“What do you think?” he asked, taking a deep breath and forcing a tight smile on his face. “You ready to share yours?”

“No,” I answered immediately. “But I’ll tell you something.”

“That works. Go.”

I debated between a few things in my head before I finally let out a breath. “The truth is I’m sorry that I won’t let you around the girls. I’m sorry that I can’t trust you. I’ve never felt that way about someone before, but it’s what I actually feel toward you. More than anything, I want you to prove to me that I can trust you with everything I have. Because there’s something different about you that I just can’t place.”

Liam scooted closer to me, and I was tempted to move further away, but I was against the arm of the couch. Nowhere for me to go. “Sol, then just let yourself. Put down your walls and take a chance.”

“I can’t,” I breathed in a sad voice. “I just…can’t.”

He reached toward me, putting his hand on my cheek, running his thumb along my cheekbone slowly. “That really kills me. For once, your emotions are written all over your face.”

“I hate that.”

“I know you do. But I love it.”

I was going to retort that of course he would, since he was such an emotional person, but he didn’t allow me any time to say anything before leaning forward and kissing me.

At first, he just pressed his lips against mine a couple of times, short, sweet kisses that didn’t take too much out of him, though they made my stomach flutter like crazy. But soon, it was almost like he needed something more, so he kept his lips attached to mine, his tongue running along my bottom lip.

I opened my mouth, which I knew was protocol, and he moved his hand from my cheek down to the base of my head, urging my face closer to his own so he could taste me better. He shifted his body so he was even closer to me, getting up on his knees, probably trying to make the move to lay me down underneath him.

I sighed into his mouth, something that I hadn’t figured was possible, before pulling away, fully embarrassed. My heart was racing in my chest, but I did everything I could to hide it.

“Sol, tell me that you didn’t feel anything there.” His voice was just as ragged as I was sure mine would have been, and his eyes were glazed over with an emotion I hadn’t seen from anyone in a long time. Lust.

I swallowed and shook my head. “Seriously, Liam, we can’t do this. I don’t care what I felt.” I would have told him that I didn’t feel anything, that he disgusted me, that I wanted him to leave, but I didn’t want to lie to him. Not right then.

“Just give me a chance,” he pleaded in a husky voice, leaning forward once again.

I pushed him away, one of my hands on his chest, trying to ignore the fact that I could feel his heart pounding against my palm. “Stop,” I whispered. I wanted to be tough, I wanted to be strong, but underneath everything, I was still just a little girl.

And I fucking hated it.