An Undead Boy

When I left Arthur, I decided to wait until tomorrow to return to my lessons. I'm stooped behind one of the large bins at the side of the school, waiting for Danielle to come out. I know she walks this way home and thankfully, she's one of the last to leave because she has violin lessons. There won't be too many people lingering near the school at this time so we will be free to talk.

It's still raining but I don't mind. I can't feel it as the presumably icy drops fall onto my face and drip down my neck, soaking into my shirt through my jumper.

The side entrance to the school opens and Danielle hurries out, pulling her blazer tighter around her. She's forgotten her coat again. This bothers me.

I wait until she is close enough and reach a hand for her arm. The result is a blood curdling scream and I clap a hand over her mouth until she realises who I am. I glance over my shoulder, making sure that nobody is nearby. There are a few people in the distance on the field that sits right beside our school but after staring over for a few moments, they turn away and carry on walking, possibly presuming that Danielle's screams are just kids messing around.

"Shh, it's okay. Calm down." I tell her, slowly lowering my hand away from her mouth. She looks momentarily shell shocked and searches my face, her complexion pale. For a second, it seems like she's happy to see me and she places a hand on her chest, over her heart, sighing with what sounds like relief. But then this all slips away and she fixes me with a wide eyed stare.

"Where were you? I waited for you."

Danielle sounds, for the first time since I have known her, bitterly disappointed in me. Her anger isn't the kind that involves screaming and shouting, she doesn't hit me or lash out yet her fury is worse than all of those things. It's a quiet sort of anger, I can see it seething beneath her carefully controlled expression. She doesn't want to be mad at me but she can't help it.

I hear loud voices coming from the door and gently pull Danielle behind the cover of the large bins with me. She doesn't object and ducks low, the rain plastering the hair that has escaped from her ponytail to her face. Through a small gap between the bins, I watch as two girls run past, eager to get home.

When I offer no explanation to her question, Danielle continues in a whisper. She is avoiding my eye contact now.

"I thought something had happened to you. I thought maybe Mark - " her voice breaks and her body starts to tremble. I shouldn't be keeping her out here in the rain but I can't move, can't talk. I didn't think that my absence could have this effect on her.

Danielle is staring over my shoulder, not wanting to look at me. There's a sharp intake of breath when she catches herself, trying to govern her emotions.

"And then I saw Mark in the corridor and he didn't say anything or gloat about you, because it seems like the sort of thing he would do if he'd hurt you, so then I thought that you didn't want to see me anymore."

The rain is clinging to her eyelashes and rolling down her cheeks, I can't tell if she's crying but something inside me, maybe an intuition that runs too deep to be ignored or forgotten, tells me she is. I'm not even thinking when I raise my hand to her face, wiping away the rain and the tears with my sleeve. I've done this to her.

"Danielle - " I say weakly. I don't have any words for her. I can't think of what to say to make her feel better.

I'm having some sort of zombie meltdown. Was I always this clueless or does it come with the territory of being dead?

She hiccoughs, her eyes red. At least she hasn't recoiled from under my hand. "What happened, Charlie? Did I do something?"

I shake my head impetuously, resting my other hand on her shoulder. I'm still determinedly mopping up her tears even though my sleeve is soaked through and the rain is still pouring down over us.

Finally, I find my voice. "No. No, of course you didn't. How could you?"

Danielle's eyes widen, her face confused. "But - but you didn't show up at the library and - and - "

Now that I can talk, I'm quick to put things right.

"I was being stupid. I don't know what I was thinking, I guess it was a long night and it just got the better of me. I felt like I needed to do something crazy to feel something but I got lucky. I got sidetracked. But it's not your fault - it's all mine. You think I don't care about you?"

I launch into the story of how I met Arthur, and the house with the religious signs, and how he had told me to come back. Danielle listened attentively, not once complaining about the rain or having to crouch awkwardly behind the bins. The sun is low in the sky and from where we are stood, I can hear the sounds of the teachers leaving the school, their car doors slamming and the tires crunching over the gravel as they pull away.

When I finish, our clothes and hair are drenched but the rain has eased up. Danielle is considerably cheerier though and she winces as she stands up, stretching the cramped muscles in her body. I have no such problem but rise clumsily, my movements lacking the grace I once possessed. I stumble but Danielle latches onto me, steadying me.

"Funny how you met Arthur outside that house. Maybe it's a sign?" she says as we walk away from the school. She looks frozen and I grimace, knowing it's my fault. I haven't even got a dry jacket to offer her.

"A sign?"

Danielle grins at me. "Divine intervention. Maybe Arthur was sent to you because someone, somewhere knew you were going to do something idiotic?"

"Ha-ha. Very funny. I'm sorry, Danielle, but we've been through this. I think you peg too much on hoping that someone did this to me for a reason." I try and keep the venom out of my voice; I don't want to hurt Danielle again. I want to take Arthur's advice and seize my second chance instead of screwing my life up again.

I fall silent, spotting a man walking his dog on the opposite side of the road. Panic flares up inside me at the sight of someone and I'm searching for a tree to duck behind when I internally slap myself. This isn't taking that second chance. This is neglecting it. What is the point of being given another shot when all I want to do is cower when I see other people?

"Danielle..." I say slowly, not sure how she is going to take what I'm about to say.

She looks across at me expectantly, raising her eyebrows.

"I don't want to hide anymore." I admit, digging my hands into my pockets.

Her face drops and she places a hand on my arm. "I know you don't, Charlie - "

"I want to be with you without worrying what people are going to say. I'm taking your life away, we're always in the library and - "

"I like the library." she interjects. I smile at her but continue as if she hasn't said anything.

" - and I don't like that I'm doing that. I want you to have a normal life, I don't want you to sneak around in the shadows with me. You're right, in one way - however it's happened, I'm alive again. Or at least, I'm walking and talking. And I shouldn't abuse that."

Danielle is hanging on my every word but I don't think she knows where I'm going with this.

"I think we should just hang out - openly. In front of people."

She halts so suddenly that I'm a few paces ahead of her before I realise she's not by my side anymore.

"Absolutely not, Charlie."

I half expected her to say something like that. She's so worried about me all the time that I knew it was a long shot to convince her. But I have to try and I'm not giving up.

"Why not? I want to walk around with you in the corridors - "

"Because Mark is completely crazy, that's why. You don't know what he'll do if he - "

I walk back to her and grab her arms.

"I don't care anymore. I have nothing to be ashamed of."

She shivers, biting her lip as she looks away.

"I admire that, Charlie, I really do. But you have to think about how it's going to affect others. If Mark sees you walking around like you're - like you're..."

"Like I'm normal?" I say quietly.

Danielle's eyes snap back onto mine and her tone is sharp. "That's not what I meant."

"I know. I'm sorry."

The tension between us eases again and I absent-mindedly rub the sides of her arms in a vain attempt to warm her up. I've kept her outside in this weather for so long now; I almost forget that she can feel the cold or get ill.

"At least think about it?" I ask desperately. "Please."

Her resolve seems to be wavering but she shakes her head, clearing her thoughts. Did I gain the power of zombie persuasion all of a sudden?

"I'll think about it. But don't you dare do anything rash until I have my answer."

I grin at her and pull her into a hug. Her warm breath crawls over the skin on my neck and the heat from her body flows into mine, enveloping me. I nearly shudder. I'm astonished, unable to react to it because she's pulling away, checking her watch.

"I have to go. My mum is going to go insane, I'm half an hour late."

She moves to leave but is hesitant. She looks back at me over her shoulder before she goes.

"I promise I'll think about it, Charlie."

A smile splits across my face. Maybe I do have zombie persuasion abilities after all.