An Undead Boy

Pretending to be calm and collected is not as easy as I thought it would be, especially when it feels like there is a storm inside me thrashing to get out through screams and tears that will never come. Outside, the summer rain is still lashing at the windows, the deep rumble of thunder resounding in the sky. I've never liked thunder and I interpret its appearance as a bad omen, a sure sign that something is going to go wrong - or already has.

It's almost the end of the day and I still haven't heard a word about Danielle. I try not to let this worry me, hoping that no news really is good news but I can't help but think that if Danielle is fine, she would have found a way to get a message to me.

I take to looking around the class to distract myself from the consuming thoughts of Danielle as my English teacher, Mr Hill, calls for our attention so that we can begin the lesson. As usual, I'm sat away from everyone else near my window, the tables of other students pulled away from me - it would have been a small consolation to me back in those earlier months; that these desks have inched their way slowly back to me throughout the year as my peers have begun to relax slightly about having a zombie as a classmate, but it just doesn't seem as important anymore.

This is the class where I first noticed Danielle and seeing the emptiness of her seat jars something that feels a lot like grief inside of me. It's silly but I'm scared to think about it in case the act of thinking about it makes it happen; it already feels like she's gone and I don't know why I feel that way because she's probably still in the office with the nurse.

I mean, I would have heard about it if she - if something happened....right?

This is when I hear it; a wail so broken that Mr Hill stops lecturing Mark for not paying attention to listen to it. A girl with eyeliner thick around her eyes, one of the closest people to me, even pulls out the earphones that she's strategically hidden beneath her dark hair, apparently hearing it over her music.

We all wait, straining our ears to hear it again but there's nothing, just an uncontrollable sneeze from someone near the back of the class and the sound of the rain on the window.

Quickly, the class fall back into routine and Mr Hill continues with his lecture, the girl beside me fitting the earphones back in her ears with a stifled yawn but I'm the only person who is still thinking about the wail.

What if it was Danielle? We're near enough to the office to be able to hear it if someone screams. What if she's woken up and she's in pain? I'm about to make the split decision to raise my hand and ask to go to the toilets with the intent of sneaking off to the office but a commotion in the corridors keeps me still.

"I DON'T CARE! MOVE OUT OF MY WAY!"

The voice is female but that's all I can make out because of how distorted it is. There's a faint murmur from someone else but whoever the warped voice belongs to roars over it, drowning it out in it's garbled yells.

"I'mlookinginthisclassroom. You. Can't Stop. Me!"

More persistent murmuring, which doesn't please the voice.

"Do not come between me and this door or you will regret it!"

The door to our class bursts open and Danielle's mother spills in, one of the nurses behind her. She grips the door frame as she sweeps the room, checking every face before landing on mine. Her face flushes red and she storms past Mr Hill, who makes a feeble and confused attempt at stopping her, before she comes to a grinding halt in front of me. She is a volcano about to explode.

"THERE YOU ARE! I can't believe you're still here after what you've done!" she screeches, eyes bulging as she stares down at me. I shrink away from her into my seat, everyone around us startled into silence but listening intently.

Mr Hill looks outraged, the book he had started to read from shuddering in his tight grip. He slams it onto his desk before moving between me and Danielle's mother - protecting me, I realise.

"Please, this is a school and you can't just start shouting at one of the students. I'm going to have to ask you to leave." he demands, holding his hands up to her when she gives off a mirthless shriek, alarmed that she is going to go crazy.

"I can do what I like. He bit my daughter!" she yells, leaning past Mr Hill to glare at me. "Look at you - just sitting there like you're innocent and misunderstood but I know what you are, I saw what you did to Danielle and now, because of you - "

She breaks off into a choked sob, her arms wrapping around her torso. She looks a mess; her hair is scraped back into a scruffy ponytail, the mascara around her eyes running down her cheeks in black, twisting streaks. I notice now that she's still in her pajamas, a pair of light blue cotton trousers and a dusty coat hastily pulled over the thin t-shirt she's wearing. Perhaps she was having a day to herself, time to enjoy not having to get ready or dressed up until the school phoned her, informing her that her daughter was with the nurse? I look at the protruding veins in her shaking hands, currently trying to push the tears back into her eyes, and I feel a stab of pity for her.

Mr Hill twists around to look at me, his glasses sliding down his nose. He doesn't say anything and only stares at me like I'm this whole new person that he's never seen before.

The room is completely quiet except for the strangled cries coming from Danielle's mother but everyone's attention is fixed on me. I fleetingly look at the people sat around me, catch the look of fear on James' face and the smug satisfaction on Mark's, gloating that he was right about me without even needing to say it.

And then, slowly, each student stands up from their seat and walks over to the other side of the room. I watch Mark go, the first to move, then the girls who whispered about me being contaminated in the assembly, eyeliner girl following, a few of Mark's friends who taunted me when I was in the corridor with Danielle, even James rises with his head bowed, too ashamed to meet my gaze.

Worst of all, Mr Hill ends his transfixed stare on me with a shake of his head before putting an arm around Danielle's mother to walk her over to join his students. Together, they watch me and I feel it - every single pair of eyes beating into my skin, on my face and across my chest.

I can't stand it anymore. I don't even pick up my school bag or books as I hurry out of the classroom, ducking my head away from their faces so that I can make a hasty exit. The nurse who was with Danielle's mother backs away from me as I rush past her.

"Yeah, get the hell out of here corpse!" Mark calls after me but no one reprimands him for it. Not even Mr Hill.

They all know. I can't come back to school, I won't be able to see Danielle. How am I going to get to her house when her mother will spend the rest of her life peering out from behind the curtains to stop me from seeing her? They all know what I've done.

I don't stop off at the office to try and see Danielle, just wanting to get away from everyone.

As I leave, I think about Matt, who helped me by carrying Danielle to the office, and whether people will lash out at him for being some sort of accomplice in my evil deeds. I hope no one saw him that day but the odds are against us. How can he have not been spotted? I wish I could tell him to lie, to say that he found Danielle slumped in a corner so that he can save himself from all the abuse he will undoubtedly get but I don't have the time to find him. I pray that he will know what to do.

I have to get out of here.

As I run out of the school, past the gates and onto the main road, I find myself wondering about what Danielle's mother was going to say - the unfinished sentence.

"I saw what you did to Danielle and now, because of you - "

Because of me, what? What did I do? Did I kill Danielle? Did I turn her into something like me?

And if I did, what will her family do? How will they treat her? Will they throw her out into the streets, horrified by what she's become? Abandon her like my mother did with me?

I wildly start to dream about the possibilities, my thoughts back on a sea side escape with Danielle by my side. It wouldn't be so bad, having each other to be undead with. I can't even bring myself to be ashamed for wanting her to be like me. Is that wrong? Is it selfish?

But how will I get to her? I need a plan of action and the only way that I can do that is if I have somewhere to think without watchful eyes on me.

I can't go to the library, the thought of having Danielle's mother confront me in the only place where I felt like I belonged agonizes me; for her to taint it by forcing me to admit that I attacked her daughter. This knowledge leaves me with one other location.

The only place I have left is my house.