Falling Slowly

"Amanda?" I didn't look up from the drawing I was currently drawing after hearing the unrecognizable voice that hovered above me. "Are you alright?" I hated that question with a passion, everyone has been asking me that for the past week. I seriously was getting sick of it, did I look alright to them?

Looking up during Art class, I didn't remember the name of the pale skinned girl in front of me. She was beautiful in her own unique style. She had large caramel brown eyes, that were brought out even more with the overly done eye liner. Her left eye; however, was hidden behind her long, shiny black hair. Her lips were round, and looked like she was puckering them out for a kiss, but they were normally like that. She wasn't as tall as the other girls in this school, but she was still pretty close. She probably reached the height of five eight, maybe even five nine. I could tell by the way she looked at me, that she actually seemed to care. It didn't feel like she was asking me because she had to, but because she knew something was wrong and wanted to know.

"No I'm not..." I didn't even realize that I had blurted that out to someone whose name I didn't even know. "Sorry to be rude, but I forget what your name is.. " I silently asked, looking down at the drawing again. I didn't want her to see the blush that was creeping into my pale cheeks. I relaxed a bit when she let out a small laugh.

"Oh, it's alright. We've never been formally introduced. I only know your name because Mr. Finn's actually been talking about you a lot lately. He's been saying how good you are at drawing. I can't blame him though, you're fantastic. Oh, yeah. My name is Lilly." I intently listened to her when she was talking about how Mr. Finn liked my work. I thought I was horrible, but everyone is their own worst critic. I couldn't help but let a small smile find its way back to my face. It was genuine also, lately they have all been fake.

Before I could even introduce myself, even though she already knew who I was, the bell started ringing. Groaning, I gathered my school items and placed them back into my back. I didn't want to go to lunch, lately I've just been staying in the art room, or the library, and secretly eating my lunch. I didn't want to have to see Jacob, and have that feeling of my heart being stabbed over and over again. I couldn't bare it anymore, and I couldn't bare the fact that it was all my fault somehow. I must have done something to make him look like he was going to chew my head off.

My thoughts were interrupted when I heard that little voice next to me again. "Penny for your thoughts?" I looked over to my right and saw Lilly. Why was she being so nice to me? And why did she look so familiar? Oh yeah, she's Silas's adopted sister. I remember him telling me about her a few days ago. I internally groaned again at that name. Silas. Ah, he might have been gorgeous, but damn was he annoying. Ever since the first day of school, he's been attached to my hip. Every time I tried to be by myself, he would always find a way to get me to talk to him. It might have been his persistence, but I don't know. I couldn't even talk to Rhiannon, Embry, or Quil, yet I could talk to Silas? Something in my head must be loose and broken.

"Ah, it's nothing Lilly." I looked over at her, trying to figure her out. She had a small smile on her face as she looked straight into my eyes, challenging me to find something. "Hey, can I ask you a question?" As she nodded her head in acknowledgment, I tried to decide on how to ask her. "Is it okay... if .. I sat with you at lunch?" I watched her face go from a smile to a roar of laughter. I got embarrassed as she just laughed in my face, and walked off into the cafeteria.

I felt a hand on my shoulder, and was pulled around by Lilly. She had a serious look on her face. I pushed her hand off of my shoulder. What was she doing especially after she made me feel like a complete idiot?

"It's fine Lilly, I understand. I'll just go to the Library." I started to walk back out the way I came in, but spotted Jacob walking straight towards me. I turned around quickly, but just bumped right into Lilly, which sent her to the ground, and I falling backwards. I never reached the ground, instead I felt two large, extremely hot hands on my waist. I couldn't understand how he could make me feel like this. How just by a simple touch he could make my breathing slow down and my heart pump faster. I was going to thank him, but then he realized who he was touching and took his hands off my waist. I was surprised when he didn't scowl or glare, but just walked off towards Quil and Embry.

"Amanda, I wasn't laughing at you. I was laughing at the ridiculous question you asked. Of course you can sit with me, I'm a loner anyway. You seem like one too, that's why I approached you today. Plus, you seem like you can use some cheering up also." I laughed out loud as she stood next to me, putting her arm around my shoulders. I couldn't believe how sensitive I had gotten over a misunderstanding. I could feel the blush flushing my cheeks as we sat down at a lunch table, right near where the friends I had been avoiding. I could feel their gazes on my face as I stared at the table. I couldn't, didn't want to see their intent eyes staring at me.

"You know Amanda, you have caught four boys gazes. One being my obnoxious brother," I couldn't help but let out a snort as she said this, "and you've caught Embry Call's, Quil Ateara's and Jacob Black's." I couldn't help but bring my eyes up to see them. Sure enough Quil, Embry and Jacob were staring at me. I felt self conscious when I realized I couldn't bring my gaze off of them. I could see hurt and disappointment in Quil's and Embry's gaze, but I couldn't pin point what was in Jacob's. When he saw I was scrutinizing him, he put a small sneer on his face, and looked away. There goes that stupid torn feeling again. I wish sometimes that humans didn't have to have hearts, we could live off of something else. Something that didn't provide stupid emotions.

"Oh." I couldn't even comprehend how to come up with a sentence to Lilly. I was so flabbergasted with Jacob, that I was mentally handicapped for the moment.

How could he break my fall, which would have made me look like an idiot, and then turn to his normal hating self? Why would he have wanted to keep me from hurting myself, if he didn't even like me?

I saw a hand wave in front of me to get my attention. I smiled apologetically towards Lilly. "As I was saying, since today is Friday, most of the students are having a small bon fire. I wanted to know if you'd like to join me tonight, it'd be lots of fun." I smiled and nodded my head, maybe I needed to get out. I didn't even know it was Friday until Lilly mentioned it.

Maybe this is what I needed. To get away from everyone, everything that was bothering me.


"I don't think this is such a good idea Amanda." Hearing Rhiannon's annoying voice, I wanted to turn around and throw my brush at her. Maybe even yell in her face, but I held back. I didn't want to start a fight especially since I know I'd lose.

"And why is that?" I winced at how harsh my words came out. I could tell Rhiannon was taken back by them also, I instantly felt bad, and wanted to apologize.

"I don't know Amanda. I just don't think you should." She was avoiding my gaze. I rolled my eyes, she was hiding something from me.

"You want to know why I haven't been talking to you, or anyone lately?" I could feel the anger rising in the pit of my stomach. I don't know where I got all this hostility from. "Well one it's because you're not even around anymore to let me talk to you! It's also because all of you are hiding something from me! I can feel it, and I can see how I make others around me feel. Jacob hates me for no apparent reason! I didn't do anything to him, yet he glares, scowls, and even growls at me! What the hell do you call that?! And then Quil and Embry are always whispering about something, and when I come in the room, what do you think happens? Oh yeah they go quiet! What the hell is going on around here Rhiannon!? I know you know, because you won't look at me right now!" I was clenching my fists so tight that my knuckles were white as a ghost, and I knew my face was red because by the end of my rant I was screaming at Rhiannon.

"I'm.. I'm sorry Amanda." Rhiannon barely whispered before she walked out of my room and down the hall to downstairs. I could hear the front door slam shut, that's when the stupid angry tears came and said "hello."

I quickly wiped them away, breathing in and out loudly. Lilly would be arriving shortly and I didn't want her to see me this way.

Broken.

"So who is 'everyone' that you speak of?" I looked over at Lilly, she just had a small smirk on her face. She didn't get to answer, because by the time I had actually asked her the question, we had arrived.

I could see a large bon fire in the middle of a circle, I saw girls from my Trig class and Art class. I didn't even bother to know their names though. I could have seen the three of them even if I was way back in the forest. Quil, Embry and Jacob were all standing near the large Oak trees that surrounded this bon fire. I also saw Rhiannon with the three of them, and felt my heart being ripped out of my chest. She was such a hypocrite, she really was.

I hadn't even been paying attention as Lilly led off into a secluded area, I could see few kids around a smaller bon fire. I felt arms wrap around my shoulders, and a sloppy kiss was planted on my cheek. I pulled away instantly and groaned.

"Silas. Please don't ever do that again. Thanks." I started to walk away, and into the forest. I could hear him following me, but I could have sworn I saw a shadow to the left of me whizzing by the trees.

"Aw come one Mands. You know you like me." You could smell the vodka on him from miles away, moron. He was so clueless, I kept on walking, getting deeper and deeper into the forest. Maybe I'd come across Bear's path, but maybe I wouldn't since I haven't seen him for a week or so.

I kept a strong grip on my upper shoulder. "Silas. Get off of me. I don't like you, and I never will. Now please leave me alone." His grip only tightened, and then I was pushed up against the tree. His other hand gripped my other upper arm.

"You know Amanda. I know your sister and boyfriends little secret." I quickly looked up at Silas to see him smirking, slightly lowering his head down. "I also know about your parents tragic accident in Seattle. It might have been an accident, but I know the truth sweetheart." As he mentioned my parents, my heart started racing. I tried to pry him off of me, but he was much stronger than me. I wanted to scream, but I was mute. I couldn't even comprehend how to open my mouth right now. "Do you want to know the truth?" I watched in terror as his face lowered, his lips were an inch or two above mine, and his eyes were searching for the answer I couldn't say.

"Get off of me." I finally managed to say, it came out more as a squeak than anything. He only smirked at me, he bit his lip suddenly. He furrowed his eyebrows together, I realized the grip he had was loosening. This was my chance to escape. I brought my knee up towards his private area, and in an instant they collided. After that, everything was a blur.

I ran for it, but I didn't get far enough to get anyone's attention. Silas came up behind me, once again pushing me against a tree. The back of my head collided with the tree, making everything seem blurry and fuzzy. I felt the warm blood run down from the cut on my head. I whimpered, "let me go." Which in return only got a snicker.

"Since you're not being so nice to me right now Amanda, I'm going to tell you the truth anyway. Your sister, and boyfriend, or should I say 'boyfriends' are all monsters. They turn into werewolves whenever they want, your father was one also you know. That's why your mother married your father. There's this thing called 'imprinting' you see, and your father so happened to imprint on your mother. Ah, it was love at first sight, truly adorable if you ask me." I narrowed my eyes at this imbecile, he actually thought I'd believe this bullshit? "But as you see, Seattle was attacked by new born vampires, vicious little creatures if you ask me. Your father, being the little hero that he is, tried protecting your mother when they went out on a little get away dinner. So happens, that's when the little vicious creatures attacked your parents. Your father was so caught up in protecting your mother, he accidentally snapped her neck when he threw a vampire in her general direction. He obviously didn't know she was there, so when he did realize, he lost all comprehension, and was killed by a new born vamp." I couldn't help but let the tears roll down my cheeks, even if this was bull, I could see my father trying his hardest to save my mother.

"Silas. Get. Away. From. Her. Right. Now." I turned my head towards the voice. My heart started beating quicker when I saw Rhiannon, Jake, Quil, and Embry standing together. Silas snickered, and loosened the grip on my arms. I fell to the ground, with a pounding headache.

"I'll see you again soon, beautiful." At that last word, the shallow breaths I had began to stop. I started hyperventilating. He was the one from my dreams. The one with the red eyes, the one who terrified me to even think of sleeping at night. And he's the one that I had been so close with since the first day of school. How could I have not known?! I looked over to see where Silas was, and with a blink of an eye, he vanished in the darkness. I didn't even realize that three abnormal looking dogs like Bear started to chase after Silas.

My heart started beating faster at everything I heard tonight. I couldn't believe it, I shouldn't believe it. Werewolves and vampires don't exist! It's just a made up story! But deep down in my heart, I started to believe it. I started to sob when I realized my dad and mom were killed by vampires, it wasn't just a stupid car accident.

"Oh god, Amanda!" I heard the husky voice in front of me. I looked up with tears in my eyes into the gorgeous brown eyes of Jacob. He grabbed me and pulled me into his huge chest, he started to rock back and forth as my sobs grew louder.

Why was he doing this? He hated me? All the scowls and glares flashed by me, making me cry harder into Jacob. I threw my arms around his neck, and buried my head into his body that had been overcome by heat. I felt his hand touch the back of my head, and a small gasp came from his mouth.

I felt him pick me up bridal style as I slowly grew into unconsciousness. The last thing I heard before I finally surrendered to sleep was, "please hold on, I can't lose you."