Mistaken Moments

Ella fastened her seat belt and waited for the plane to take off; she sighed and looked out the window towards the terminal. She had just said goodbye to Josh. It was harder than she thought it was going to be. They had spent the last three days inseparable. The first day in Saskatoon, they didn’t leave the hotel room. They watched movies, ordered in food and talked. She had learnt so much about Josh. She found out he was a recovering heroin addict and that he suffered from depression from time to time. She knew there was still more that he didn't tell her. He would in due time. She also discovered that the band was amazing; she went to her first show last night.

The plane speed down the runway, she was on her way back home. She felt empty. She would see Josh in another three weeks. That made her sad. She looked down at her wrist at the silver bracelet Josh had giving her right before she boarded the plane.

Once they were at altitude she turned her phone on. There was a text there from Josh.

Thank you for the amazing past few days; can’t wait to see you again. Going to miss you xoxo
Ella smiled and texted him back.

I miss you already xoxo.

Last night while they were lying in bed Ella noticed for the first time some faded scares on the inside of his side. Perfect little lines, all in a row. She traced her finger over them; Josh shuddered but didn’t say anything. “You use to cut yourself?” she asked softly. Josh didn’t look at her, just kept starting at the ceiling. “Josh.” She said softly, taking her hand and cupping his face so she could turn his face so he would look at her. “It is okay, you can talk to me.”

He looked into her eyes, “Yes I did It was just a way for me to still feel. Being numb from the heroin, all the alcohol. That is one reason why I don’t drink much. I do have an occasional drink but I really try not to touch it.” He picked up her hand and played with her fingers. “Cutting myself made me still feel.” He said softly. “I fight with myself every day to stay clean.”

“I know babe, having an addiction is a sickness, it is something that you can’t just fully recovery from. It will always be a part of you.” Ella said softly. “I admire you for being the strong one and overcoming the part of you that was addicted.”

Josh grunted. ‘’You admire me? You really shouldn’t admire me. I am a fuck up.”

“Oh really, Ramsay?” Ella started she propped herself up on her elbow and looked down at him. “You are an amazing singer, songwriter. You have great friends that stuck with you. I have worked with drug addicts going through detox. It is the worst thing I have ever seen. For you to have gone through that and become who you are now. I admire you.”

He turned to face her now. “Ella I am an asshole most days. I push people away, I sometimes just want to be left alone so I will disappear for days. Nikki left me because of my manic ways. She got frustrated with how I was, that is why she cheated on me. I know that is no excuse for her to do that. She isnt really that bad of a girl.”

“Are you still in love with her?”

Josh looked at Ella, the light from the bathroom made her eyes glisten. He pushed her hair back from her face. “I am done with her sweetheart. I can’t say that I feel nothing for her, I really like you. I am not looking for a serious committed relationship right now, I just want to have fun…..and I want to have fun with you.”

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“Miss would you like refreshment?”

Ella jumped as the air line attendant came to her side. She smiled. “No thank you I am fine. Will we be landing soon?”

“We should start our decent to Vancouver in twenty minutes.”

“Thank you.” She said softly. She was tired and cranky. She just wanted to go home. Sara was supposed to be at the airport to pick her up.

She leaned back in her seat and shut her eyes.

She must have drifted off, because it felt like no time had passed and the plane was touching down on the run way.

She was off the plane moments after it landed. Flying first class was awesome. Josh had paid for her ticket home, since she missed her last flight that she had paid for. She walked into the terminal with her one carry on, she looked around for Sara.

“Hey Ella.” Sara said rushing over to her. “You look like hell.”

Ella smiled at her friend. “I know I am exhausted. Can’t wait to get home to my own bed.”
Sara wrapped her arm around her friend and led her out to the car.

“So how was the last few days?” Sara asked once they were on the freeway.

“I didn’t want to leave.”

“That good huh?”

“Sara I really like him. He is funny, and talented, and sexy, and cute………I am scared I am fallen for him.”

‘’Why is that be bad?’’

“He doesn’t want a relationship.”

“Pfffffft. You guys are sleeping together, spending time with each other. That is a relationship.” Sara pulled onto Ella’s street. “I can tell you if Ramsay hurts you, he is going to have to deal with me. I don’t get him sometime.”

“Home.” Ella said totally ignoring Sara. “So I have to work tomorrow evening?”

“Yes.” Sara said looking at her friend. “You want me to come in?”

“I love you but I just need to go to sleep.”

“Okay, I will call you tomorrow.”

Ella smiled getting out of the car and going inside her little house. Mo meant her at the door, rubbing against her legs.

“Hi Mo.” She said locking the door behind her, she bent down and patted his head. She went and got ready for bed and pulled her covers back and climbed in. It felt like heaven to be in her own bed. She flopped over onto her back and picked up her phone. She missed Josh, she missed everything about him.

Hey babe, I am home, in my bed alone well not alone Mo is here. I miss your lips.

She sent the text, hoping he would reply right back. It took a few minutes but he did.
Ella bean! Just got done a show, am doing a meet and greet right now.

Glad you made it home safely. Matt says hello.

Ella sighed, but her phone vibrated again.

I miss your lips on my neck…….the hickey is still there btw. Bad girl!! ;)
She smiled and texted him back.

I am exhausted, just wanted to say goodnight and I miss you!! Hope you have a great night Josh. I will see you in 14 days and counting. Xoxo.

Her eyes started to close as she waited for him to reply.
Night sweetheart!!! Sleep well, sweet dreams of moi!!! Xoxo…..well not sweet HOT!! Xrated dreams. Matt says good night.”
Ella smiled and closed her eyes, she was asleep before she could really think about anything else. She wa

s going to count day every day till she seen him again.