Just Stay

It wasn’t supposed to matter.

What had transpired, the events that had unfolded before her very eyes, wasn’t meant to be, but knowing that didn’t make her feel any better about anything.

In fact, it made Imogen feel worse.

She wasn’t that girl. She’d always been the good person, the friend with the highest moral standards. She never did anything wrong, ever. She didn’t sleep around with her best friends’ friend, she didn’t sneak around behind anyone’s back, and she certainly did not fall in love with a boy who seemed to be only interested in her for the mere fact that she was allowing him to have sex with her. No, Imogen Ryder was not known for any of that.

But just because she wasn’t known for it didn’t necessarily mean that it didn’t happen – because she had done everything that she’d resisted – and it unfortunately did happen against all of her better senses.

Burying her face in her hands and wishing against all wishes to melt into the sofa and never be able to climb her way out, she listened to the obnoxiously loud music pouring from the speakers of the expensive stereo system that her friends – the very friends she’d been betraying – had given her. Sappy break up songs that foreshadowed what was about to happen by the end of the day droned throughout her apartment, loud enough for her neighbors to file complaints had it been something so less depressing and less sympathetic for the girl.

It’d been a sudden revelation, one that her best “actual girl” friend had advised her against the second Imogen had stormed into her apartment and blurted out her long kept secret to the one person she felt wouldn’t judge her.

“I love him, Katie.”

Her friends Alex, Jack and Rian from high school had all become the brother figures she’d never had. They had beat up the boys that had broken her heart against her pleads, they’d interrogated her prom date worse than her own father had – forcing the poor kid into an almost interview-like situation before prom night became a remotely close event. They took it upon themselves to save her as best as they could from the hurtful things in life, but the trio of boys had particularly taken a liking to protecting her heart by chasing away the boys that seemed to take an interest in her.

And knowing that, she’d instantly knew that when they introduced her to Zack – one of their friends – that she would have to watch herself.

It was an instant attraction – her and Zack. He was so… different. There were no possible words to describe the way she felt about him; the feeling was just there, the gut instinct that they had something was kicking away at her internal organs.

It was that feeling that had led her to believe that one night of nothing – of one emotionless, tension-relieving night of sex with him – wouldn’t hurt anyone. He didn’t seem to object, they’d both agreed to never tell their mutual friends, and they promised that there wouldn’t be any hurt feelings in the end.

Imogen wanted to kick herself for not taking notes from every movie about friends with benefits. Someone always got hurt, and she was the stupid one who was about to tear her own heart out because she idiotically fell for Zack Merrick and all of his glory.

He didn’t feel the same.

She felt the pain sear in her chest and buried her face deeper into her hands, cowering in her oversized sweater and ridiculously obnoxious fuzzy socks.

“Oh sweetie…”

The despair that Katie’s voice had been filled with made it seem as if Imogen had made the biggest mistake she possibly could have made. And perhaps she had: she should have stopped their so called ‘relationship’ after their first ‘encounter’, but she hadn’t.

She always set herself up for failure.

Her Patsy Cline track was cut short, opening the apartment up to an incredible amount of silence that made tension build in her shoulders.

“Im? Are you okay?”

”It’s to the point where he doesn’t even need to knock, Katie. He stops in whenever, I stop by his house whenever. We never knock… he’ll bring groceries over. I feel like were married, but we’re obviously not.”

She wanted to scream out, “NO!”

She wanted to lose her mind, to scream at him for bringing them Chinese to share, to beat him up for turning her into this… this mess of a girl… For making her fall in love with him with the simplest gestures, and never having the decency to just leave her high and dry right away in the beginning.

“Im?”

Peering up from her hands, she forced herself to be honest and upfront about the situation. “Zack… I need to talk to you…”

The look on his face was the epitome of scared. All possibilities shot through his head: pregnancy, the discovery of an STD… All were negative. He set the boxes of Chinese he’d picked up for them on the way over down on the coffee table to prepare himself.

“I can’t do this anymore,” she said. “I think it’ll be for the best if you just- if you just leave.”

She stood up, walking toward her bedroom without a second glance in his direction.

Unfortunately for her, Zack wasn’t the type of boy who just ended things, who just let things slip through his fingers like sand. He needed reasons, solid reasons. “Imogen… What- I don’t understand where this is coming from…” he said, pausing in the door of her bedroom as she dug through her closet.

“What’s not to understand, Zack? I can’t do this… this thing anymore…” I love you too much to set myself up for an even bigger let down… “I think it would just be best if you left and just don’t come back, okay?”

“Did I do something wrong?”

She stopped and glanced at him briefly before refocusing on her clothes. “No,” she stated emotionlessly. He hadn’t done anything wrong – that was the problem. He was perfect, but he wasn’t hers, and she had this feeling that he never really would be.

“Then why are you doing this? You seemed fine yesterday…”

Imogen pinched her eyes shut. I didn’t realize I was in love with you yesterday…

“Things have changed,” she stated. Her feelings had changed, progressed too deeply.

Zack felt himself growing exasperated. Imogen was always his open book. He’d always been especially good at reading people, but she… she was a different sort for him. Something just clicked with her. “I need a better reason than that, Im.”

She found herself angry. Spinning, she glared at him, fists clenched. “Why? You’re acting like we’re a couple, and we’re not, Zack! We never were!”

A silence fell over the two of them.

Imogen never yelled. She wasn’t that kind of person, at least not when Zack was around.

The second he saw the mist in her eyes he knew exactly why this was happening – why she was cutting him out of her life. She fell for him.

“Oh…”

He stuffed his hands in his pockets, glancing down at the hardwood for a second before he returned his eyes back to her figure. She stood, looking away from him with her hand covering her mouth to hide the trembling of her lips. Sheer embarrassment consumed her.

“Im…”

“Please-“

“Can I just talk for one second?” he asked, not sounding mad at all. “Have I ever told you that you have the worst timing in the world?” he asked.

She glanced to him, confused and still too embarrassed to allow them to linger over his features.

“I mean it. Ever since I’ve met you it seemed that you stumbled into moments of my life at the worst times.”

He took a large step in her direction, reaching into his back pocket.

Imogen watched as he pulled out a packaged fortune cookie and fiddled with it in his hands. “I was going to give you this, tonight…” he said, holding it out to her.

The girl reluctantly took it from him, twisting the clear wrapper in her fingers. “You were going to give me a fortune cookie?”

He rolled his eyes. “Open it.”

She hesitated, but allowed her curiosity and the humming of her gut instinct take over. Cracking the cookie in half, she pulled out the slip of paper.

“It was supposed to be a real surprise. I imagined it being this epic moment…” Zack admitted, stuffing his hands back into his pockets.



Imogen could only stare down at the tiny slip of paper in pinched between her fingers.

A long moment of silence swallowed the both of them, her mind reeling and Zack’s thoughts starting to become worried with each passing second.

Finally, Imogen managed to pull herself together enough to stare openly at him.

“I’m sorry…”

Zack couldn’t contain himself. Laughter bubbled from his mouth before he could stop it. The shell-shocked expression on her face, the innocence of her voice, the truly apologetic look she was giving him… it was all too much.

“Don’t be sorry.”

Unsure of what else to say, she turned back to the slip of paper and wondered if it was truly possible. Was this her reality?

“So… Should I still go?” Zack asked, worried of her answer.

She snapped her head back up, eyes wide. Before he could register anything, she’d darted into his arms, taking the both of them down to her bedroom floor in one clumsy moment. “No. Stay. Just stay, please?” she asked, pressing her lips tenaciously against his.

Zack grinned, wrapping his arms around her. “I’ll stay as long as you want me to, Imogen.”