Wild, Wild, West

The characters in this story are (c) Steam Powered Giraffe!

Rabbit: The malfunctioning automaton run on puns and guacamole
The Jon: The Pepsi-Fueled-Eat-A-Ma-Tron, bouncy, curly haired, and full of robust energy
The Spine: This handsome silver man means business

Michael: Silly, wears short shorts, not particularly good with a gun
Steve: Techno-pirate with eyeliner and a thing for dragons
Sam: The mustachioed warrior of times past