A Nightmare? Or a Dream...?

Last night I saw myself die
Then I woke up and felt dead
I killed myself in my dream
I saw the bottles of medicine
The pills
The corpse
All of it was there
I saw myself pray as I swallowed the cough syrup
Praying that I was only leading myself into a world of happiness and eternity
Not a painful life such as this in hell
I saw myself write my final goodbyes as quickly as I could to the ones I loved most
Each note written with love and care...
Then the medicine was gone
I saw distress in my eyes
My pony-tail hung low
Then I started shaking...
I felt the ice cold air on my skin as if it were reality as I lifted up the prescribed pills and their unprescribed friends.
They escaped into my mouth, and went down my esophagus along with my last drink of water
And there I lay in the middle of my floor- crying
Feeling the same pain and tears that I always feel
I knew that I was dying
I knew that it was only a matter of time until the drugs would kick in
I sit up to grab my bible and clutch it close to my heart
So that my last few seconds would mean something...
And with that,
I see myself tumble
Crashing onto the floor
I see my dead body collapsed
And I am gone