A Nightmare? Or a Dream...?

My father made his way to see me asleep in my casket.
I have only seen him cry three times in my entire life...
And now once in my afterlife.
As I said, I was always closer to my mother
But I still loved my dad as much as I could
For the longest time, I was his only child
We used to have so much fun together..
He used to take me to the golf course with him and tried to teach me how to play.
He video taped every moment of my childhood until I was five
When mommy said no, daddy said yes
When mommy upset me, there was daddy. Trying to make me feel better.
I trusted him.
I have always taken promises and commitments very seriously.
Always.
I had seen my best friend's parents break up... And it made me so sad. I felt so bad for her...
I couldn't help but imagine my parents breaking up...
The thought wouldn't get out of my head no matter how hard I tried to push it away.
So I asked my mom...
If it would ever happen
She and my dad promised me that they loved each other and would never break up.
And I believed them.
However... Things did start to change around my home.
And I was smart enough to notice it.
"Daddy... How come you sleep with me every night? Why are you on the couch sometimes? How come you and Mommy never kiss each other anymore?"
When I was only 8... Things changed between us.
I figured out that he had been seeing another woman.
And my mom divorced him.
I remember that day like it was yesterday...
My mom held me and we both cried.
I couldn't believe what I had heard.
That was one of the times that I ever saw Daddy cry...
It tore me apart to see my family like this...
"Daddy made a mistake. I'm so sorry. I promise that I will stop seeing her. I still love Mommy. I'm not going to leave y'all."
Again, I believed him.
But I was smart enough to figure out that it was the end of Mommy and Daddy
Dad moved into an apartment by himself...
It was so weird not seeing him everyday.
I missed him. I loved spending more time with my mom.. But that was when I realized how much I really loved my daddy.
I stayed with him once every week & every other weekend
We became really close.
We never got mad at each other...
We were each other's best friend
He took me out to dinner every Tuesday night
He let me eat in my room.. Which he never allowed
We had never been closer
One day, I finally came up with the courage of asking him about his girlfriend...
He couldn't hide her from me forever.
I needed to meet her... I never knew anything about her.
But it was time.
I met her.
She was so much more different than I had imagined.
She was nice to me... But I could always sense that there was something about her... That ... She didn't like me very much.
Long story short,
I figured out that she was pregnant.
I was oh so excited to have a new little sister. And a new stepbrother.
My dad never wanted to talk about it though. He never told me that he would marry her.
But they eloped.
Soon, we all became a family.
But one day... Everything changed.
The baby came. And everything was different.
I still felt like my new stepmother didn't like me...
But I really liked her.
I told her how I felt...
And that's when everything fell apart.
I discovered the inter-drama queen within her.
And I knew that she sure didn't like me after that.
Ever since then, we haven't been a family anymore.
I always wanted to stay with Mom.
I was scared to be around my Dad if my stepmother was there.
It seemed as If she had control over him...
Me and my stepparent did have some fun times together.
We did get along on occasions.
But things were still not the way te should've been.
I got in trouble for the things my little sister did..
My dad yelled at me all the time...
They had spoiled her.
She had gotten away with everything that if I had ever done, my dad wouldn't let me live it down.
My stepmother actually links back to where all of my disorders had begun
Her niece- who was like a big sister to me- told me that I was fat.
I couldn't believe what she had said.... I asked her if she was serious. And she was.
Stepmother and my stepbrother always made fun of me... Because of how much I was developed already.
I was 10... But I had blossomed.
My self confidence kept decreasing as I got older...
I stopped eating. I became depressed. I had crying spells. I became attached to certain people. I was always anxious. And I could never talk about it.
As I became a teenager... So much happened to me
But I couldn't talk to my dad about it
I knew he wouldn't understand.
I started therapy when I was 13.
So Eventually, my mom did have to share with him what I was going through.
Daddy didn't believe a word.
He said it was all in my head.
I wasn't anorexic. I just wanted the attention.
I wasn't depressed. I didn't even know what depressed meant.
He works with kids that really have these disorders, and I am nothing like them.
He refused to believe that he had an imperfect child.
Even though there was pure proof that I did have problems.

So now this is what it has led to: Death.
I watched my dad look at my lifeless body.
And I could tell what he was thinking.