Status: I wasn't living... I was existing♥
A Nightmare? Or a Dream...?
Best Friends For Li—Eternity.
Crying and screaming for my boyfriend is the hardest thing I've dealt with at this funeral.
I broke his heart. And I promised him I never would do that.
I can't stop crying for him
But my tears are distracted...
My best friend, Gabbi stands by my casket
Silently starring at my stationary body
I had never seen Gabbi cry before...
And she tried her hardest to fight back the tears.
But she couldn't keep them in forever.
We lived 4 hours away from each other
But we have been best friends since we were 11.
Gabbi meant everything and more to me - and still does.
She's always been there for me. Always.
And I love her more than she knows.
She places a picture frame with a dry erase frame around me and her smiling together like we had done for each other on our 13th birthdays. Her whole family had signed it... Just like the had done on the other picture.
They were my 2nd family. And I loved them so much.
Gabbi's sister , Ally, was also one of my best friends.
Ally cries too, as she holds Gabbi's hand.
Those two girls are like sisters to me.
And I wouldn't trade them for the world.
Their mom treated me as if I were her child.
That family was my heart and soul. And still is
My next friend that I notice is Collyn. .
Collyn and I have been best friends since the 5th grade.
We always had the craziest times together.
There was never a moment that I wasn't there for her or she wasn't there for me.
Collyn was a part of my family.
My parents loved her, and she fit right in
She has always known about my issues
She has freaked out and worried about me more than she should have.
But she has other friends. I was never her best friend.
Still, she cries for me as if she had known me for her entire life.
I hug her like I always do when she's sad.
As she says goodbye, I can only pray that she knows how much I love her.
Next is my friend, Mailee.
She moved to Arizona a few months ago , so I haven't seen her in forever.
It meant a lot that she came.
We had no friends in the 6th grade in most of our classes
Luckily, we had almost every period together
We always ate lunch by ourselves everyday and isolated ourselves from everyone else.
Mailee is so important to me. And I hope that she knows that.
I watch her eyes swell with tears...
She always said how beautiful I was
But I always told her that she was the beautiful one
And she is. Inside and out
Suddenly, I see my friend, Mare
Mare is my friend that kinda gave me my "wild side"
She and I used to do the craziest things together, get in trouble for it, then laugh about it later
If one of us was in trouble, so was the other
People used to think of me as her "side-kick"
Luckily, I hope no one thinks that anymore
Mare was the first of my friends who cut
We're a lot alike in so many ways, but we're really different.
She was the only friend of mine that I could talk to about hurting myself physically
To be honest, she wasn't much support.
She was not the most loyal friend of mine. But she was fun to laugh with.
I remember a few days ago when I had cut... She told me,
"Hanna. Please don't commit suicide"
I never thought I would....
And seeing her upset over me was really odd for me to see
I knew she loved me. But she had a funny way of showing it. She didn't appreciate me.
But I'm glad to know that she cares about me.
I hope and pray that she won't end up like me...
The last friends that I see are my best friends from my show choir
Hanna, Mike, Reed, Katy, Vicci... all of them.
I was closest to Hanna and Reed.
Mike was my ex bf, but we love each other forever and always
We've known each other since we were ten, and not even that could come between us
Hanna and Katy are the most upset
Hanna and I even had a time together where we both just laid together and cried.
Hanna was an outcast, like me.
Bullied, shy, and different.
I always thought that she was perfect
I couldn't believe the first time that she told me that she doesn't have many friends
She's always been there for me. And I've always been there for her
Reed... Oh my.
Even when I think about him as a ghost, I can't help but smile
That kid was my brother!
We did everything together. Nothing could tear us apart!
There's so many memories that I've had with him...
The beach, our musical, Disney World, anything.
It was rare that I ever saw him serious.
So he still tried to hide his pain with laughter and smiles
I hope and pray that they all know that I love them
As I see my friends mourn over me, it is a sight that I never thought I'd see.
But I don't regret doing what I did.
I just hope they understand why I had to...
I broke his heart. And I promised him I never would do that.
I can't stop crying for him
But my tears are distracted...
My best friend, Gabbi stands by my casket
Silently starring at my stationary body
I had never seen Gabbi cry before...
And she tried her hardest to fight back the tears.
But she couldn't keep them in forever.
We lived 4 hours away from each other
But we have been best friends since we were 11.
Gabbi meant everything and more to me - and still does.
She's always been there for me. Always.
And I love her more than she knows.
She places a picture frame with a dry erase frame around me and her smiling together like we had done for each other on our 13th birthdays. Her whole family had signed it... Just like the had done on the other picture.
They were my 2nd family. And I loved them so much.
Gabbi's sister , Ally, was also one of my best friends.
Ally cries too, as she holds Gabbi's hand.
Those two girls are like sisters to me.
And I wouldn't trade them for the world.
Their mom treated me as if I were her child.
That family was my heart and soul. And still is
My next friend that I notice is Collyn. .
Collyn and I have been best friends since the 5th grade.
We always had the craziest times together.
There was never a moment that I wasn't there for her or she wasn't there for me.
Collyn was a part of my family.
My parents loved her, and she fit right in
She has always known about my issues
She has freaked out and worried about me more than she should have.
But she has other friends. I was never her best friend.
Still, she cries for me as if she had known me for her entire life.
I hug her like I always do when she's sad.
As she says goodbye, I can only pray that she knows how much I love her.
Next is my friend, Mailee.
She moved to Arizona a few months ago , so I haven't seen her in forever.
It meant a lot that she came.
We had no friends in the 6th grade in most of our classes
Luckily, we had almost every period together
We always ate lunch by ourselves everyday and isolated ourselves from everyone else.
Mailee is so important to me. And I hope that she knows that.
I watch her eyes swell with tears...
She always said how beautiful I was
But I always told her that she was the beautiful one
And she is. Inside and out
Suddenly, I see my friend, Mare
Mare is my friend that kinda gave me my "wild side"
She and I used to do the craziest things together, get in trouble for it, then laugh about it later
If one of us was in trouble, so was the other
People used to think of me as her "side-kick"
Luckily, I hope no one thinks that anymore
Mare was the first of my friends who cut
We're a lot alike in so many ways, but we're really different.
She was the only friend of mine that I could talk to about hurting myself physically
To be honest, she wasn't much support.
She was not the most loyal friend of mine. But she was fun to laugh with.
I remember a few days ago when I had cut... She told me,
"Hanna. Please don't commit suicide"
I never thought I would....
And seeing her upset over me was really odd for me to see
I knew she loved me. But she had a funny way of showing it. She didn't appreciate me.
But I'm glad to know that she cares about me.
I hope and pray that she won't end up like me...
The last friends that I see are my best friends from my show choir
Hanna, Mike, Reed, Katy, Vicci... all of them.
I was closest to Hanna and Reed.
Mike was my ex bf, but we love each other forever and always
We've known each other since we were ten, and not even that could come between us
Hanna and Katy are the most upset
Hanna and I even had a time together where we both just laid together and cried.
Hanna was an outcast, like me.
Bullied, shy, and different.
I always thought that she was perfect
I couldn't believe the first time that she told me that she doesn't have many friends
She's always been there for me. And I've always been there for her
Reed... Oh my.
Even when I think about him as a ghost, I can't help but smile
That kid was my brother!
We did everything together. Nothing could tear us apart!
There's so many memories that I've had with him...
The beach, our musical, Disney World, anything.
It was rare that I ever saw him serious.
So he still tried to hide his pain with laughter and smiles
I hope and pray that they all know that I love them
As I see my friends mourn over me, it is a sight that I never thought I'd see.
But I don't regret doing what I did.
I just hope they understand why I had to...