Kissed

"Hey, get up." a pillow smacked against her head and Rooney turned to stare at Casey with a raised eyebrow. "Seriously, you've been sitting on the couch for the past week. It's gross. You're going to start growing mold soon. Come out with me. We don't even have to go to a party, we can go do weird girl on girl shit like watch a movie, maybe make out a little, but no butt action." Rooney snorted. "I don't know what kind of weird fucked up shit you and your 'not-a-boyfriend-but-definitely-a-boyfriend' got into, but it's fucking depressing."

Casey walked over and flopped onto the couch next to her, and Rooney took the opportunity to throw the pillow back in Casey's face.

"Bitch."

"Yes, but I'm your bitch."

"I'll make sure to quote you on that at your wedding."

"Pfft, wedding." They lapsed into silence for a few moments, and Rooney realized that Casey was giving her an opportunity to say something.

"I know that I'm supposed to sit here and open up and pour my heart out about it, but I really don't want to. Like, I think it's mainly because it's embarrassing and it's one of those things where even in six years I'll look back on it and probably groan out loud because it's so embarrassing."

"Is it like that time in seventh grade when you went to school with dread locks while wearing an XXL My Chemical Romance shirt and unique individual written across your thighs in sharpie?" Rooney repressed a shudder and settled for covering her face with her hands.

"God, yes. Probably worse. Uh, why did I have to go through a phase."

"We all go through something in middle school. Some people lose their virginity, some of us do drugs, and some of us do the awkward gothy emo thing, dark poetry included. You still haven't let me read any of it."

"Never. Like, if you're lucky I will bury it with me in my fucking coffin if I have to."

"Grave robbing is something I've always wanted to do."

"Fuck."

"Hey." She nudged Rooney's knee.

"He hurt me, and it sucks Casey. Because I didn't know that somebody could do that to me, but I'm gonna be fine. Boys are dumb, but knowing that you're hovering over me because you think I'm going to grow mold, doesn't help. I know you're planning on hanging out with whats his face with the stupid hair cut and the jeggings."

"He has a really nice ass, he deserves to accentuate it."

"Go." Rooney looked at Casey. "I promise that we can go out Sunday and do whatever it is that best friends do."

"Mmmm, alright, but I'm going to call every hour to make sure you haven't sunk to Grey's Anatomy reruns and peanut butter." She said as she stood, grabbing her purse on the way to the door.

"Ha ha, have fun. Make good choices."

"Bye bitch." Casey blew Rooney a kiss before she shut the door. Rooney sighed a heavy breath of air as she slumped sideways, face first into the couch cushion. Pushing off the couch she padded into the kitchen, opening the fridge, then the pantry, then the fridge again.

"Why don't we ever go grocery shopping." She muttered to herself as she yanked open one of the drawers by the sink, pawing through the take out menus. With the food ordered, she sat herself at the folding card table that she and Claire liked to call the kitchen table and pushed open her laptop.

It was a sad day indeed when she was getting a head start on studying for finals on a Friday; two months before they were due to begin. Obviously she ended up in the dark depths of Youtube watching Russian road rage videos. Finally she heard the door buzz and she stumbled out of the chair.

"Thank God." Grabbing her wallet off the counter she unchained the apartment door. "How much do I owe you?" She asked, looking down at her wallet.

"Hey Rooney." Her fingers froze, and she realized then that she really needed to make looking through the door hole a part of her routine.

"Are you working for the Chinese place on 6th now Jeremiah?" Rooney asked in a bored tone.

"Uh, no I'm not. Look I know you've be-"

"Then, I really don't have anything to say." Rooney said as she closed the door, but Jeremiah shoved his foot into the door.

"Would you let me explain."

"I honestly don't care, so move your stupid foot before I break it."

"East Wall delivery?" A voice from behind Jeremiah said, and there, Rooney saw, was her Chinese food. Before she could even move to take it from the guy, Jeremiah had taken out his wallet and paid for the bag. After the delivery guy was gone, he turned back to her with a smug look on his face.

"Five minutes." He said, raising the bag.

Pushing the door open she snatched the bag from his hands as he passed through.

"Two."

He watched her as she moved into the kitchen to unbag the food.

"Are you watching Russian road rage videos on Youtube?" Rooney looked at him sourly.

"Things sometimes happen that are out of my control." Moving over to the couch she plopped down with a carton of lo mien, looking at him expectantly. Eighty seconds." She reminded him. He dragged one of the kitchen chairs over to sit in front of her, arms resting on his knees.

"Rooney." He said softly, he ran his hands down his face. "Shit. I had this whole thing that I wanted to say to you, and I remember it being really well worded, and now I can't think of a single word."

"Then let me say it for you. I don't want to do this anymore. I don't want to do whatever it was we were doing because it's not working for me and it just made me anxious and stressed and I don't want to have to go through that."

"Okay, we don't have to do that. I want to do something that works this time." He moved to grab the free hand that was resting on her knee, and she jerked away from him. Sticking her fork into the carton she set it on the side table.

"You're not listening. I don't want to do anything, okay because I don't want you to do someone else when I'm not up for doing." She added with air quotes.

"Jesus Rooney, you think I would do that to you?" She could only shrug. "Do you have any idea what you do to me? Rooney, please look at me." She flicked her eyes up. "After you left that day in my apartment I thought you were saying that you wanted to stop, and I practically ran out of the door to beg you to come back."

"I fucking called you non stop for a whole wee-"

"I know." He cut her off harshly. "But you know, I thought about it more and more, and I figured maybe you were right. I mean, maybe I wasn't right for you and maybe you had a point. I was trying to be noble for you, and do the whole 'if you love someone let them go'. But it was a fucking terrible idea, because I missed you. I missed the way you make weird noises with your mouth, and the stupid puns you always make, and I missed picking up after you in public because you shamelessly litter all the God damn time.

"I went to that party and I met her and her name was Ronnie, and I just wanted to forget. I thought that you were going to move on so fast, and I just wanted to forget. So I took her upstairs." Rooney closed her eyes, hands over her face, refusing to cry again. "And I kept accidentally calling her Rooney, except it wasn't much of an accident. Then I saw you there in the doorway, and this is the worst part, because I actually felt a little relieved to see you." Opening her eyes she watched as he hung his head, running a hand over his hair to rest on the back of his neck. "I saw you in that car, and I lost it." He looked at her. "So I took you home, and I put you in bed and I left because I knew you would hate me in the morning."

It was then that Rooney realized he felt just as confused and angry as she did, and she didn't know how to explain to him that she wanted to soothe his heart and break it all at the same time.

So she showed him.

Standing up from the couch she straddled his lap as she lowered her mouth onto his, and it was like they were before. His arms were iron bands around her waist and as she slid her hands around his head, arms resting on his shoulders, she let him remember what started this in the beginning. His reaction was close to violent as he picked her up and rolled her onto the couch. He paused, looking down at her and wanting to say something, but she didn't give him the time.

Pushing him onto his back she let him watch her as her hands slid up his thighs and under his shirt, her nails raking up and over his skin. Her lips followed where her hands had been and the groan that came from his throat traveled down her spine.

"Holy fuck Rooney."

"Don't talk." She murmured as she deposited his shirt on the floor, and before she could continue her ministrations on his chest he dragged her along his body to kiss her. Her heart was racing as he threaded his hands through her hair, holding her to him, his other hand was a vice around her waist as he shifted so that her back was pressed against the back of the couch, pinning her on the inside.

He was everywhere, shoulder to shoulder, hip to hip, ankle to ankle. He made her fingertips tingle, and she wish he knew what he did to her so that he would understand why she was so terrified of the power he would have over her if she gave it to him. Had already given to him.

Dragging his leg between hers elicited a sigh that she didn't mean to give him as he pulled her own shirt off. Her hands wandered to his pants while his mouth did things to her breast that he knew made her squirm. It was when her hands touched him that he froze, physically flinching away from her. She stared at him, confused.

"Rooney, what are you doing?" He asked hoarsely, but she was so done with talking, so she pulled him back down to her, shifting on top of him again, trying to make him forget the past, forget Ronnie, forget Rooney. Reaching again for his pants he pulled away from her mouth. "Rooney, what are you doing?"

Putting her lips to his neck she said, "I thought this is what you wanted." She tried to reach for him again when he reacted again, this time physically. Flipping them again, he grabbed her hands gently. "Stop. We're not doing this."

"Oh, so now you don't want to do this?" She pushed at him, trying to roll of the couch, but he didn't budge.

"Stop."

"Seriously, get the fuck off me. Or should I call Ronnie to help you off instead?" Then he did move, and she hastily put her shirt back on as he stared at her. "Like what the fuck!" She screamed at him. "Who says that to someone? 'Oh I thought I wasn't good enough for you, so to get over you I fucked someone with a similar name!"

"That is not what I said."

"What is it with guys trying to be so God damn chivalrous at the wrong fucking time? Ask me before you decide what's the best thing for both of us. You come in here with that sorry ass story and what? What the hell did you expect? That I would say how glad I am that you realized what a dick you are? Because I'm glad you got that through your thick head." He was standing now, hands on his hips, staring at her.

"I came here because I wanted to fix things."

"You came here to say sorry you got caught!" She screamed

"The hell I did! I didn't get caught Rooney. We agreed that we weren't going to be exclusive. Don't give me that bullshit. You started this, you wanted no strings, you of all people - don't get to be angry! You think I don't know what you're doing, because I get it, you're scared and you don't know how to do relationships, welcome to the party Rooney. But guess what, you don't get to use sex as a fucking weapon."

"Then what am I supposed to use?" She asked. "Because I want you to feel this. I want you to get that I feel like you were using me." She said, her voice trembling. "I want you to understand that I get this adrenaline rush just from being around you, and I think about you when I'm laying awake at night, and when something happens you are the first person I think of to call. You have practically invaded my life and I'm pretty sure that it's not supposed to happen like that.

"We're supposed to be friends first, or have like had a constant interactions for at least a few months, and me and my friends are supposed to gossip about you behind your back. You're supposed to ask me out on a date and we're supposed to go to a dinner and a movie and we're supposed to be boring and slow and after about a year we'll finally know that we love each other."

"You've thought about this a lot."

"This is not what I thought it would be." Is what Rooney finally said, sitting back down on the couch. Sitting next to her, Jeremiah took one of her hands and laced it with his; bringing it to his mouth he placed a kiss on the back of her hand.

"I know, but I think it's part of the reason why I love you." He said simply, and she turned her head to look at him. "I know we haven't been together for over a year, and I haven't taken you to any boring dinner dates, but I've done other things. I've seen the way you try to give everyone the benefit of the doubt, and how you can't help but expect the worst out of every situation. I know the way you always put a separate pair of shoes in your purse because you like to be prepared, and I know that you have become this constant part of my life in such a short amount of time. I don't know how to stop being in love with you."

"What am I supposed to do with that?" She whispered, and she nervously watched as he smiled at her.

"Nothing, it's a gift. But for now we're going to go sit on your bed and watch Grey's Anatomy reruns, and in the morning I'm going to take you out on our first date. We'll slowly work our way to dinner and a movie, but I figure we'll start slow. Breakfast at Denny's, lunch at Chili's, dinner at the Macaroni Grill."

"You're really bringing your A game there buddy."

"And when you're ready, we'll see where we go from there."

"Okay."