What to Do When You Are Dead

I woke up that morning covered in dust in an abandoned warehouse. I was laying on the floor in the middle of the building with the sun peaking at me through holes in between some boards that were covering some of the windows. I wasn’t too sure how I got there or where this building was. I looked down and noticed I was still wearing my clothes from before I must have passed out, if that's what happened to me? I was in a plain black tee shirt, with my only slightly worn out leather jacket and my black jeans. I sat up and rubbed my eyes and tried to figure out how I could have ended up here. The last thing I could remember was being so unhappy, I was at my home by myself that night. Maybe that was last night? I'm not even sure how much time has passed since this memory, I remember locking myself in my bathroom downing the rest a bottle of my anti-depressants with some advil PM and laying down in my bathtub to go to sleep.

A few minutes passed and I decided to get off the floor, I brushed myself off and walked over to a dusty cracked window that didn't have any of the boards across it. I looked outside to the street It must have been around six in the morning. I could see street and side walks from the window that was only a foot or two above ground level. The streets were full of people trying to stay warm and get to work or walking their dogs, jogging, getting coffee at a cafe across the street. I surveyed the surroundings of the building to find an opening where a door should have been close by. I walked out into an ally with a dumpster and two openings, one on my left and right.

Not too sure about where to go or what I should do, I began to walk to my right down the ally. I gazed across the street at the coffee shop where some couples sat inside talking on morning dates. I decided getting a coffee sounded like a great idea. As I crossed the street and began to walk up to the shop, I noticed a man sitting on a bench in front of it.

He was reading an article in the newspaper, for some weird reason he just stuck out… to me at least. From what I could see he had black hair, Some scruffy dark blue pants that were cut off about 6 inches above his black ratty looking converse. He wore an old looking red tee shirt on as well, which didn't seem to fit the weather, since the man didn't have a coat or anything. As I was looking him over he looked up from his newspaper and yelled out to someone in my direction?

“Hey! How’s being dead?” I looked around to see if anyone would answer him, although he was looking at me, maybe he wasn't talking to me? Either way it was Kind of a weird question to ask your friend... or really anyone. Why would he be asking that? A minute later he yelled again and said,
“Yes, I’m talking to you!” Then signaled for me to come talk to him. I looked over confused, what the hell is this guy talking about and how does he know me? I shuffled over to the guy at a quicker pace.

"Hey, Do I know you?" I asked once we were a few feet from one another.

“I don't think so, Johnny.” The man said putting his newspaper down holding out his hand, which I shook.

“Gerard, So what were you trying to ask me, on my way walking over here?”

“Just how being dead is going for you,” He repeated what I had thought he said, I did hear correctly.

"Uh.... I don't think we're dead.. unless you're using that as some sort of metaphor for something.. uh.. are you Ok?" This guy was freaking me out a little bit, he must be on something.

“Well, I’m dead too.. and you can see me, so... You must be dead.” I was still skeptical.

"Um.. What?"

“Yeah, well I guess you didn't find out yet, but, you're dead...” He was scratching the back of his neck looking down at his feet.

"I don't know if I really believe that." I chuckled lightly hoping not to offend him.

"Well, it's true." He made eye contact with me, I could see he was being sincere. "I'm totally ALL for pranks on people! Believe me man! But this, this is no joke... It'd probably be a pretty cruel joke to play on someone too... trying to convince them that they're dead..." He trailed off while examining my face realizing that I still wasn't buying anything he was saying. "Here, maybe you're not dead.. and you can just see ghosts or, or something, try and talk to that woman." He said confidently point at a woman who was going to pass the bench we were in front of.

"Uh.. ok.... What do I say?"

"Just ask her how she is or something, small talk..." He suggested standing behind me while we were both facing her. A tall blonde woman wearing a dress and over coat, she looked like she worked for an office.

As she got within a few feet of me I spoke up and looked right at her,
"Hi, How are you?" I smiled at her and nodded ... Nothing ... nothing at all, she didn't even look at my face.. she was looking in the general direction but, not at me.

"Well, see.." Johnny said in a somber tone.

"Maybe that's just her.. She kind of looked like a model, she's just ignoring me.."

"Ok... well why don't you try this guy.." He suggested pointing to a middle aged bald man with glasses in a suit who was approaching. "Eliminates the whole, model thing.."

"Ok, I'll try talking to him" When he was within two feet of me I tried again.
"Hey sir, how is your day?" I said looking at his face speaking up so he could hear me. Again, nothing.. when he looked at me he looked like he was looking right through me.

"Sorry man, I really think I'm right.." Johnny said as I turned to face him. I still couldn't believe it. I sat down on the bench wondering if my attempt really had worked, could this really be what life after death is like? I sat silent for few minutes thinking. Johnny sat down next to me.

“Hey Johnny?” I asked breaking the silence.

“Yeah bud?”

“How did you die?”

“Well,” He said looking down as if he forgot. “I killed myself.” He told me with a easy-going smile, that seemed to say he was ok about talking about his death.

“Why?”

“I wasn’t very happy. I hated living, I too involved with drugs and my family had just slowly cut me out of their life. I had no one, to go to. So I gave up and overdosed in a crack house.”

“Wow. That's awful... I’m really sorry.” I looked into his eyes sympathetically.

“It’s cool, it happens. It happens.” He brushed it off like it was nothing. ”Were in the same boat?”

“I think so. The last thing I remember before I woke up in that warehouse an hour ago was being unhappy and taking the last of my anti-depressants with Advil PM and then going to sleep in my bathtub. I guess I really am dead." I sat still trying to believe that I actually killed myself.. but some how am actually here talking with someone.. as a ghost?

"Yeah, I think you definitely are... Sorry if that's not what you wanted.." Johnny said probably noticing my still disbelieving attitude. "It's a lot to take in, I didn't think I would still be here either.." He added we sat in silence for another ten minutes before he spoke again. "Do you want to go see my hang out place?"

"Uh.. sure, I guess so... how do we get there?" I stood up off the bench along with Johnny.

"Well I've found out, to go anywhere as a ghost, as long as you can remember what the place looks like, and you close your eyes and try and picture it in your mind, you show up there."

"Oh... that's pretty crazy.." I said sort of being skeptical again but figured, hey if I'm dead but still here, who knows what can happen and what can't?

"Here, grab my hand.." Johnny said closing his eyes with his hand extended toward me.

"Ok..." I clutched it lightly.

"You have to close your eyes.."

"Oh.. ok sorry.." I said while closing my eyes it felt like nothing was happening but a minute later things felt a little breezy.

"Ok, we're here now" He told me I opened my eyes and we were inside of this dilapidated house. Some of the floorboards had holes in the corners. The fireplace's beige colored bricks were half crumbling and on the floor in front of it. One of the front windows was boarded up you could see there was no glass in it, the other was cracked. The door was all chipped at the bottom like a dog used to live in this house long ago and scratched the shit out of it.

"So this is your hang out spot?" I asked still looking around as Johnny sat down on a dirty tattered red couch that had slashes in the the fabric with some of the foam hanging out.

"Yup, this is the place I died actually. When I realized I was dead I was here. It was actually pretty gruesome because since this house is really abandoned.... it took them... a while to come across my body... Not a long time, but like a week. It was pretty traumatizing the first thing for me to be greeted with after death is my decaying body. Then having to hang out with it for a few days.." He admitted.

"Wow, I'm sure that's incredibly traumatizing. I would be horrified..." I said half in astonishment. I terrible for Johnny but really lucky that wasn't the case for me. Johnny and I ended up talking for a few hours he was answering some of my questions about being dead, and we were getting to know each other more and what had happened in our lives when we were alive. I found out when you are dead you actually can sleep. When 5pm rolled around I decided that I wanted to try and sleep back at the place I had woken up in.

"So I just close my eyes and imagine the place?" I asked Johnny while getting off of his crappy couch.

"Yup, make it like a picture in your head. If you want to hang out later I can come around and find you... I have a couple friends you can meet.."

"Yeah, that'd be nice.." I agreed to seeing him later and began trying to get back home.

When I arrived at the warehouse I wasn't too sure how to try attempting to sleep at this place but I was determined to try. I decided to lay down in the spot that I had woken up in and I shut my eyes. It felt just like sleeping while being alive, except the discomfort I knew I would have if I were alive from just laying on a dirty wooden floor with out blankets, pillows or padding wasn't there. It probably only took about ten minutes until I was able to drift off to sleep.

I then began having what I believe is a dream. I could tell that I was in the bedroom of a furnished apartment. It was dark in the room but I could make out a bed in front of me and a night stand on it's left. There were windows with some curtains to my left as well. Some of the moon's light shined in through them revealing a woman sitting on the bed. I saw her began to sob. I had no idea what it was about or who she was. You could tell she wasn't crying from something HORRIBLE or traumatizing, she wasn't in hysterics at all, but regardless I still felt bad. She just was mostly staring out her window letting the tears stroll down her face, she was silent.

I quietly moved a little so I could see her a little easier in the dark room. She looked like she was around the ages of 19 to 21. Her face that I saw looked very pale, it looked like her usual skin color. She had short dark brown messy hair that looked like it had streaks and patches of black in it. Her cheek bones were some what prominent in a way that made her face look cute rather then really, really, bony. Her lips were a paler shade of pink but looked some what full. I could make out that her eyes seemed to be a mixture of brown and green, although they were darker they still popped out to me. I thought she was beautiful. I wished there was some way that I make her feel better or help her out or something. I don't like seeing people hurting.

I slowly crept closer towards the be she was on as she held her gaze out the window. I'm not really sure why I was creeping around since I'm a ghost and it's not like she could see me. I guess it just feels weird being in someone's apartment with out their knowledge, so knowing they don't know you're there makes you feel like you need to hide to keep it that way. I crept a little closer towards the bed. This time when I moved a little I noticed things started to fade a little bit. It was like the room began to get foggy. I moved a little closer again, and they faded even more. I wanted to see what would happen if I went to sit down on the bed next to her I walked another step closer so that I was only about 6 inches from the bed and the room was almost completely white with me barely being able to make out where she and her face were. I went and turned and sat on the bed where I could make it out a little. Right when I sat down I heard the woman gasp and then everything turned to white.