Skyfall

It had been seven days since Gabe and Elle’s little “run in” and in that week Elle had barely gotten any sleep between a fussy baby and all of the memories she was beginning to rehash. She laid in bed awake till nearly four in the morning every evening replaying those agonizingly long twenty minutes in Ben’s apartment. Part of her had wanted to let him back into their lives and the other part of her (obviously the part of her that was thinking with her brain and not her heart) knew that it wasn’t right to let him off the hook like that. He needed to be responsible for the actions he had taken and Elle was going to make sure that he was.

Sunday had came once again, her only day off, and in between tidying up the apartment, getting Ava all ready for a week of daycare, and spending a couple hours of studying, she had managed to keep her mind off of the blonde-haired, blue-eyed boy. While she had been out, Tara had stopped by their mailbox that they shared downstairs to check up on impending bills that were undoubtedly about to make their appearance. Instead of the usual stack of electric, phone and gas bills that filled the small metal box up to the brim, there was a box stuffed deep into the confines, barely making enough room for the bills (which were hidden underneath it). She carried the package back upstairs, it was unmarked and addressed to Elle, and tossed it on the counter.

“Elle, you have a package. It’s on the counter,” she called down the hallway from her bedroom. Elle poked her head out of the den that was used as Ava’s nursery (though she didn’t sleep in there) and playroom, and looked towards the breakfast bar where the package sat.

It was a small brown box with Elle’s name, address, and phone number scrawled messily across the sticky—handwriting she didn’t recognize. In the right hand corner, where normally a label would read for where the package was from, it stood blank as if whoever had sent the package didn’t want to know who it was really from.

“Who is it from?” She asked, peaking her head back into the hallway where her friend’s room was and called towards her. Tara stood in the attached bathroom and shrugged her shoulders as she began getting ready for work.

“Beats me. I just saw it collecting in our mailbox and brought it up. Maybe it’s checks? Usually they deliver them in weird boxes like that.” She mumbled as she tied her long brown hair back into a ponytail. Elle shrugged and looked down at the small brown package in her hands. She wondered what exactly it was, who exactly it was from and why they had sent it to her and all she could assume was that the best way to find out was by opening it up and finding out the secret.

~~~~~

Not five minutes into opening the box, unwrapping all of the paper it had been internally wrapped in, and finding out what exactly was inside of it, did Elle regret opening the package. There was a slip of paper, not more than a half sheet wide, on the top and immediately she recognized the messy scrawl that was accompanied by the box: Gabriel.

El—

I know the last time we spoke wasn’t on the best terms. You’re mad at me and I understand why, and while I’m not trying to make excuses for my behavior a year ago… I’m wondering, begging and asking you again if you could reconsider thinking about giving me a chance back into your and Ava’s life. I understand if you say no, again, but before you make a decision based on a stupid little letter that I wrote you where I was barely able to get out the proper words, read the letters that are underneath this piece of paper. I swear I didn’t get the idea from Noah in the Notebook (yes, I remembered your all time favorite movie), but I do think it gave me a little suggestion. I wrote you and Ava letters. They aren’t every day, more like when I got the chance, but they are something I’d like you to read before you make your final decision. If you do decide to say no again, I will understand, but please, please, please read the letters… I hope they can change your mind, and if they do, I will be at Ben’s any time of the day. Thank you, El--- I still love you.

Gabe.

Her heart sunk and she began to feel a cold sweat going throughout her body. Letters? She didn’t know whether or not her heart had the stability to stand up to having to read them. Maybe she would be able to rope Tara into reading them first and then if anything was worth rereading, she would do the job.

“I’m not going to read your letters. They’re personal Ellie, and he wrote them for you. You need to just get a little bit of liquid courage up and read them. They wont kill you.” Tara spoke after Elle had begged her best friend for the umpteenth time to read all thirty seven of the letters, but as usual it had failed, and Elle needed to turn to herself to grab her balls up off the ground and just sit down and read them. “If there is anything worth telling me, I’ll have my phone on at work, okay?” Tara asked sounding slightly worried that she was going to be leaving Elle all alone now with a box full of letters from her ex-boyfriend. Elle bit down on her bottom lip and slowly nodded. She was going to be okay. She was going to be fine.

“I’ll see you, T.” She finally spoke as she grabbed the box up off of her bed, dragged herself out to the living room and tucked herself up on the couch. This was going to be one of the hardest things she was going to have to put herself through.

~~~~~

The letters mainly all started out the same. A long line of: I’m sorry, I miss you, and I feel awful for being such a terrible boyfriend typically followed close behind. At first they were all addressed to her, at least the first three. They were one from each of the final three months of her pregnancy. They talked about how he was sorry he couldn’t be there but that it was better this way and that despite how much he loved them it just wouldn’t work out. That angered Elle at first until she got to the letter that he had written that had been addressed shortly after Ava was born:

Congratulations beautiful! We made a baby!! I’m sorry I couldn’t be there today for one of the most important days of our daughters life, but I promise I will be there soon. I have let the Avs know of Ava and her birth and they have agreed to give me a couple days off in order to spend with you guys… I’m so excited!!!! Ben texted, Facebooked, Tweeted, and MySpaced me hundreds of pictures of her so far. She’s beautiful, and she looks so much like you… That is going to be a scary prospect one day when I’ll have to be beating up on the boys. I want to apologize again because I haven’t been there for you throughout this, but I needed to work some things out and I needed to get my life back on track, and now that it is, I want to work everything out. You deserve the best and I plan on giving you all that you want. I hope to see you by next week… no later!!

All my love,
Gabriel

By the end of that letter all of the angry emotions flooded Elle out with feelings of sadness. He had planned on coming back, he had planned on helping them become a family, yet he had fallen through with his plans—which angered Elle again. Quickly she put down that letter, wiped away her tears, and returned to the stack. This letter was from the March.

I know I’ve been a really shitty person. I promised you in my last letter that I would come back home, but I didn’t. Things have gotten really busy around here with the season going into full-pace and the contention for a playoff bid becoming closer and closer. I promise when we get a break, hopefully around the time playoffs begin I’ll be able to bring you guys down here. I know that will be weird with me meeting Ava for the first time, but I think it would be really cool to have my good luck charms sitting in the stands if we lift the cup this year. Things are getting easier around here—slowly but surely and I find myself missing you guys more and more. I promise I’ll write soon and hopefully I can get you guys out here so Ava can see her all pink nursery!!

Love you to the moon and back,
Gabriel

There hadn’t been a letter written since March up until the final piece of paper that was at the bottom of the stack. It was titled for just two weeks before and had small coffee stains around the corner edges.

I messed up, I really did. I haven’t sent out these letters I have sitting in my closet written about you, and I haven’t even bothered to get the chance to come and see my daughter yet. I lied in the last letter about everything being so busy. While we’ve been busy, I haven’t been that busy. I should have stood up and been the man that my father taught me to be. You and Ava deserve better. I know I don’t deserve to have you standing there with open arms when I come up to the K this summer, but it would be really great if we could at least talk this out. I want to figure everything out and I want to be an active part of my daughters life. I understand if you’re mad at me and never want to see me again, but I do want to be here for her. Everything has changed since I wrote that last letter and I’m finally beginning to see how much of a mess I’ve made of my life so far.

Please be there when I show up,
I will love you forever,
Gabe

The last letter almost felt like a knife was slowly stabbing its way through Elle’s heart. Everything he said was with so much conviction—even the lies, and for some reason she felt inclined to believe he may have changed… but her guard was still up. She shoved the papers back into her box and found her phone sitting on the dinning room table. Slowly she dialed his number, making sure she really wanted to do this before dialing the number and then pressed call.

“Hello?”

“Hi Gabe, this is Elle,” Pause.

“Oh, hi.”

“Hi.”

“Hey,”

“Is there something you needed?” He asked with a hint of optimism. Elle braced her voice for what she was about to say.

“I read the letters. I think we need to talk.” She spoke clear and steady. On the other line of the phone, Gabe’s heart dropped ten stories, he couldn’t decipher whether or not this was good or bad.

“Okay,” he spoke slowly.

“Meet me at Zola’s in a half hour?” His heart lit up at the positivity in her voice. He looked over at the clock—because he was still sleeping—and quickly began to jump out of bed.

“That sounds great! I’ll see you then!” he called into the phone with maybe too much optimism before he hung up the phone and began to get ready for what was going to go down.

On the other line, Elle wondered whether or not she was making a mistake.