The Storm Outside My Door
The First Storm
“Forget this! You ask me why I want to leave so bad, it’s because you go freaking psycho on me all the time! You just don’t want me to be happy. Just mind your own business and let me handle mine.” Luke’s eyes flickered. He grabbed the keys to his ’96 Monte Carlo. He shoved the storm door open, and walked out into the cool September night.
Mum called Dad home from work that night, and together they sat and cried. They mourned for my brother the whole night, as I lay in my bed, enraged with this man Luke had become.
~
The phone rang early the next morning. Still groggy from what little sleep I had gotten, I walked into the kitchen to find my mum and dad sitting at the dinner table, a serious look upon their faces. Dad clasped his hands and brought his thumbs up to his lips; Mum looked anxious.
“Beth, this has got to be God. The boy moves out in the middle of the night, and the next day his car mysteriously breaks down? That isn’t coincidence. That’s a sign from God. He’s trying to get Luke’s attention.” Dad’s eyes were red and swollen from the tears shed the night before. He sniffled, and set his hands back down on the table.
I don’t know why, but I didn’t inquire as to what was going on. My heart raced, but my mind told me that I didn’t care. It told me that he deserved it.
~
The next time I saw Luke was the beginning of October. He worked at a local grocery, and Mum had asked me to go with her to get a few things. I’m not one to hold a grudge, but my mum was my best friend. To hear him speak to her like he did the night he moved out didn’t settle well with me. In my mind, any relationship that he and I had was gone. There was nothing he could do to get me to forgive him.
We crossed paths only once that day. The deer-in-headlights look that came over his face at the sight of us made me feel sad, yet entirely too angry. Why so scared to see your family? You were man enough to disrespect your mum the way you did, why aren’t you such a man now?
“How are you doing, Luke?” Mum was the first to speak. Luke became flustered, his face turning a bright shade of scarlet.
“I’m fine. You guys?” He stumbled over his words.
“We’re doing alright. Are you okay living out there?”
“Of course I am. Why?”
“Just know that if you’re ever unhappy there, you can come back home.”
He let out a snide chuckle, “You don’t have to worry about that.”
His words were harsh, and I could see in my mum’s eyes how they lashed at her heart, breaking it even more. “I love you, Lukey,” she choked out. Then, we turned and walked away.
~
I look out the window at the menacing storm surrounding my world. They skies are black, and there is no sunlight anywhere, even though it is one in the afternoon. I watch as the heavy raindrops begin to plow the earth with such a force I can see them piercing deep into the ground.
Suddenly, there is a frantic pounding on the storm door. I walk over, and there is my brother, begging to be let in amid this horrendous storm. The wicked raindrops breaking his sensitive skin. I look over my shoulder to see my parents, in a zombie-like state, watching the scene. I try to press the lever down to open the door: it is jammed. I press harder and harder, my full body weight pushing down on the handle. I’m frantic now, trying my hardest to let my brother in from the calamity outside. Despite my continuous efforts, the door will not be released. I watch as Luke is beaten down by this hellacious storm, he and I both helpless and terrified.
Then, I wake up.
~
The next day was spent in an exiled state. I made an introvert of myself, fragments of the previous night’s dream swamping my thoughts. I’ve never been one to think that my dreams meant something; but this one was so extraordinarily vivid—it seemed as though it was actually happening. It didn’t feel like a dream at all, but that these events had actually occurred.
Surely it was just a freak dream. Elizabeth, you’re just overthinking it. It isn’t a sign, nor is there any symbolism. It was just a dream.
~
Mum called Dad home from work that night, and together they sat and cried. They mourned for my brother the whole night, as I lay in my bed, enraged with this man Luke had become.
~
The phone rang early the next morning. Still groggy from what little sleep I had gotten, I walked into the kitchen to find my mum and dad sitting at the dinner table, a serious look upon their faces. Dad clasped his hands and brought his thumbs up to his lips; Mum looked anxious.
“Beth, this has got to be God. The boy moves out in the middle of the night, and the next day his car mysteriously breaks down? That isn’t coincidence. That’s a sign from God. He’s trying to get Luke’s attention.” Dad’s eyes were red and swollen from the tears shed the night before. He sniffled, and set his hands back down on the table.
I don’t know why, but I didn’t inquire as to what was going on. My heart raced, but my mind told me that I didn’t care. It told me that he deserved it.
~
The next time I saw Luke was the beginning of October. He worked at a local grocery, and Mum had asked me to go with her to get a few things. I’m not one to hold a grudge, but my mum was my best friend. To hear him speak to her like he did the night he moved out didn’t settle well with me. In my mind, any relationship that he and I had was gone. There was nothing he could do to get me to forgive him.
We crossed paths only once that day. The deer-in-headlights look that came over his face at the sight of us made me feel sad, yet entirely too angry. Why so scared to see your family? You were man enough to disrespect your mum the way you did, why aren’t you such a man now?
“How are you doing, Luke?” Mum was the first to speak. Luke became flustered, his face turning a bright shade of scarlet.
“I’m fine. You guys?” He stumbled over his words.
“We’re doing alright. Are you okay living out there?”
“Of course I am. Why?”
“Just know that if you’re ever unhappy there, you can come back home.”
He let out a snide chuckle, “You don’t have to worry about that.”
His words were harsh, and I could see in my mum’s eyes how they lashed at her heart, breaking it even more. “I love you, Lukey,” she choked out. Then, we turned and walked away.
~
I look out the window at the menacing storm surrounding my world. They skies are black, and there is no sunlight anywhere, even though it is one in the afternoon. I watch as the heavy raindrops begin to plow the earth with such a force I can see them piercing deep into the ground.
Suddenly, there is a frantic pounding on the storm door. I walk over, and there is my brother, begging to be let in amid this horrendous storm. The wicked raindrops breaking his sensitive skin. I look over my shoulder to see my parents, in a zombie-like state, watching the scene. I try to press the lever down to open the door: it is jammed. I press harder and harder, my full body weight pushing down on the handle. I’m frantic now, trying my hardest to let my brother in from the calamity outside. Despite my continuous efforts, the door will not be released. I watch as Luke is beaten down by this hellacious storm, he and I both helpless and terrified.
Then, I wake up.
~
The next day was spent in an exiled state. I made an introvert of myself, fragments of the previous night’s dream swamping my thoughts. I’ve never been one to think that my dreams meant something; but this one was so extraordinarily vivid—it seemed as though it was actually happening. It didn’t feel like a dream at all, but that these events had actually occurred.
Surely it was just a freak dream. Elizabeth, you’re just overthinking it. It isn’t a sign, nor is there any symbolism. It was just a dream.
~