Stuck On Loving You

Alex–

It's almost as if we're all waiting for the levee to break.

It pissed me off when Matt was right. It absolutely infuriated me when Lana was the topic of the moment at the studio when we had been going good and strong for a little over two weeks. No "mishaps" had happened, no tension was in the air whenever there was a minor disagreement. His words echoed in my head fifteen minutes after they were spoken and everyone else's voice had drowned off, leaving me alone with that one, stupid voice that was Flyzik's.

We were good for now and if the "levee" were to "break" then it would obviously be okay. We could go back to being as happy as we are in this particular moment in time. But no one had faith in us any longer and it tore us both apart. They all say that they love Lana, that she is a good girl, and how much they have missed her, but they can not see us being together now or anywhere in the future. They get along like they used to, the way a family should. The thing that bothered me was when one of us was alone with one of the guys, they would start talking shit about our relationship like it was no big deal to begin with.

We are trying to make this work, trying to make something perfect out of something so broken. Broken beyond repair is one way that Zack choose to describe us and if I had not of been sober in that moment, I probably would have started throwing punches at a dude that could easily rip me apart.

Instead of angering myself and others in my own thoughts, I picked up my notebook from the small table next to the black leather couch and started to scribble whatever words came to my mind first. Some would fall in order, but some seemed far out of place. I would loudly cross the words out and hum to figure out a new one. Twenty minutes later, I had what I thought would be one of our greatest songs if the melody became right.

"Read it." Rian told me with a soft smile on his face.

With a sigh, I looked over the page once more to make sure there weren't any mistakes. "Lazy lover," I started with almost no emotion, "find a place for me again. You felt it once before, I know you did, I could see it. Whiskey Princess, drink me under, pull me in. You had me at 'Come over boy, I need a friend' I understand. Backseat serenade, dizzy hurricane. Oh God, I'm sick of sleeping alone. You're salty like a summer day, kiss the sweat away to your radio. Backseat serenade, little hand grenade. Oh God, I'm sick of sleeping alone. You're salty like a summer day, kiss the pain away to your radio." By this point, I had looked around the room to read their reactions. All of them looked like they had to pick their jaws up from the floor. Bright eyed and inspired, I continued. "You take me over, I throw you up against the wall. We've seen it all before, but this one's different, it's deliberate. You send me reeling, calling out to you for more. The value of this moment lives in metaphor, through it all." I cleared my voice as I finished. "Then repeat the chorus, I guess. The "backseat serenade, dizzy hurricane…" part."

Jack threw himself up off the chair he was sitting in and started clapping like a fool. "You shit!" He yelled triumphantly. "We need that."

"We'll get started on it as soon as we possibly can." Mike agreed with a wide smile before extending his hand out to give me a high-five. I felt like this might do something to calm everybody's nerves and hopefully I was right for now.

♡♡♡

"No, no, no!" Lana yelled loudly later that night. I looked at her from across the kitchen counter and tried to duck from the popcorn that was being thrown my way. She had a big, goofy smile on her face - one that was definitely going to be stained in my memory as a good look on Lana Alston.

"Hey!" I screamed at her before reaching in the bag of Doritos that was sitting on the counter. "You can't throw things without expecting war." She screamed as if a spider had come into her vision, but with a loud laugh, she continued to throw the popcorn at me. "Lana, Lana, Lana," I sighed, "what are we supposed to eat while watching the movie?" I asked and waited for her to be off guard so I could continue our small food fight.

She lifted her self onto the counter across from me and sat down. "Maybe if you weren't such a jackass all of this delicious popcorn wouldn't be going to waste." She teased while throwing a piece in her mouth and chewing it. She lifted her eyebrows waiting for a response. I couldn't do much though, I was too enticed by her to even say a single word. Her long, brown hair had fallen sloppily from her ponytail in the midst of this small game and a handmade Sum 41 tank top loosely fit her small frame. Her skin was still as pale as usual, though it was more sun kissed now from being out in the sun a little bit every day. It sparkled as the lights hit her in a certain way. Finally, I slowed down and remembered that I had chips in my hand still and threw them right at her face.

"Oh," she chuckled lowly, "now, you're on." The next eight minutes had gone by faster than I thought it would. It finished out with food thrown everywhere around the kitchen, making both of us groan at the thought of having to sweep all of the wasted food up afterwards. "Alex!" She screamed. I had finally gotten my hands on her and picked her up. She kicked her legs wildly in the air, thinking that it would do something to loosen my grip as I walked her into the living room where our movie On Demand had already started playing by itself.

"Calm down, woman." I told her. As we turned the corner, I could see that our friends were standing near the front door trying to figure out what had been going on. I smiled at them and put Lana back down on her feet. "We had a food fight." I explained to them, both of us grinning as we spotted Cassadee with her arms crossed and Rian sighing.

"You should really trust us more." Lana said, her voice filled with sadness unlike it was a few minutes ago. "We're trying this time, you guys." She explained. Cassadee's face went from Angry-Mom to Aw-Sweety in zero seconds.

"Okay," Cass said, "we will." She looked at Rian and Jack, waiting for them to agree with her. They nodded their heads and let the expressions on their faces grow softer and more understanding.

"Now if anyone wants to watch 50/50 with me while Alexander cleans up the kitchen, you are more than welcome." Lana looked up at me with her big eyes that seemed to be full of happiness and joy tonight. She snickered and started to run back towards the kitchen, knowing that I was about to tackle her once again.

You could hear muffled talking coming from the other room, but it didn't matter much to either of us. What did matter, however, was that Lana and I were good for now and that's all either of us were focusing on. Who knew what would happen when tour started up again and we were forced to go our separate ways.