Cobwebs

“Mind if I join you?”

“Not at all.” I said and patted the place next to me. He pulled himself along with a blanket onto the roof and wrapped it around both of us but then lay down so his head was in my lap. I started playing with his silky hair and he closed his eyes and smiled. “What are you doing up? It is like two am.”

“It got really cold all of a sudden and so I decided I would come out here with you. It was the strangest thing. Chris was actually in his bunk.” he laughed.

“Yeah I was worried about him and his back so I put him in there.”

“I figured. You are always looking out for us.”

“Some has to.”

“Why are you up?” he asked and opened one eye to look at me.

“Oh… I needed to think about stuff.” I whispered and played with the blond streak in his hair.

“Care to share your beautiful mind Devlyn?” he asked and looked at me with both eyes.

“I was just… I am so worried Devin about Katie. Part of me wants to believe that it is my fault because I took this job but the other part is reminding me that I did call her a lot and that if she wanted to talk to me that she could’ve picked up the fucking phone.” I sighed and smoothed his hair out. “And then I was thinking about that fucking dream and some stuff that Michael told me.”

“What did he have to say?”

“Well you heard what he said when I was in the hospital and then when I was sitting with Katie he said some stuff that is top secret and I won’t tell you.”

“I see that you are blushing.” he chuckled. “Did he ask you out on a date or something?”

“What? No!” I laughed and fell over onto his stomach.

“Why would you be blushing then? The last time I saw you blush like this was when Katie told me and the world that you had a huge crush on me.” he said and then thought about it. “That’s what you two were talking about wasn’t it?”

“Not about my part in it.” I said and buried my face in the blanket.

“He told you… oh that traitorous bastard.” Devin growled. “I-I traitors the lot of them.”

“Why are you angry?” I asked cautiously and peered up at him. He sounded angry but his face was red.

“I’m not.” he said and buried his face in the blanket like I just had been.

“Holy shit was he right Dev?”

“Maybe… but I didn’t want anyone to tell you. I wanted me to tell you but I was afraid to because I didn’t want anyone to think that I was using you because I would never ever do that.”

“I know that you would never use me so what should anyone else’s thoughts matter in it?” I asked softly and he peeked up at me. “You are too sweet and caring to hurt someone like that.”

“Sweet and caring huh?”

“Yes.”

“I am not.”

“Are to Sola.” I giggled and hugged him. “You made sure I was comfortable when we were locked in that infernal cage. Shit you made it possible for me to get this job and without that I never would’ve been able to actually get to know the real people behind this music industry and I would’ve remained an introvert. You changed that and ever since you have been there for me.”

“Is that why you like me?”

“Half of it.” I admitted. “The other half is how you care about all of your friends and your fans. And your beautiful personality. You’re kinda hot to.” I said and blushed.

“You think I’m…”

“Yes and don’t you dare think of giving me crap about it either. Not my fault that I ‘love your beautifulness’ as you put it. You have gorgeous brown eyes that are impossible innocent for how not innocent your mind is. And as I am sure you are very well aware of since you flaunt it you have a nice ass.”

“So you have been checking out my ass.”

“Judge me.” I said and narrowed my eyes.

“Well since it is confession time I may as well tell you that when you threw me back onto the stage it took a lot of strength to not start screaming to the rooftops how much you were my favorite person. And yeah… I thought that it was hilarious the way you reacted to Katie telling everyone about your crush on me. I have to say that it made me smile a lot to know that a beautiful woman such as you liked me. What caught my eye about you was the way you looked in that vest of yours and how your eyes were such a dark blue that sometimes they looked purple. You also have a nice ass and the shorts you were wearing that day were…” he trailed off and bit his lip.

“So you were checking me out and I was trying to hide.”

“Yup.”

“And now we are sitting up here freezing our asses off because it took us this long to tell eachother.”

“Sounds about right yeah.”

“Wow. I-I just… wow.” I shivered and started playing with his hair to distract myself from his beautiful brown eyes that were staring at me. It was almost like he could see my soul.

“Do I make you nervous Devlyn?”

“You always have.” I admitted and looked up to hide my blush from him.

“Why is that?”

“I am afraid of scaring you off… my past isn’t exactly pretty and I like you… a lot.”

“None of us have spotless pasts darling.” he said softly. “It is okay to not be perfect.”

“I know but is it bad to wish that I could be perfect for someone?”

“Not at all but I do think that you are perfect for me.”

“But I’m the child that not even my mother or father could love.” I whispered and kept staring up at the stars.

“I doubt that they didn’t love you Devlyn. It is very hard not to love someone like you.”

“My mom wished that I had succeeded in killing my self. My dad was never there so I must’ve done something wrong. Seriously the only person I have talked to of my own free will in the better part of the past decade was Katie and now I risk losing her but I have all of you now. It’s like… all I have to do to gain everything I’ve ever wanted is lose everything I know.”

“Listen Devlyn.” Devin said and sat up in front of me. “You don’t have to give up anything for me or for the guys. Katie will pull through and you won’t lose her. I can’t do anything about your mother but I can help you try and find your dad… if you want. That way you could ask him.”

“You would do that?”

“Fuck yes I would. Anything you just have to ask.”

“Okay… in that case… can we go inside where it is warm and re-try watching a movie?”

“Nightmare On Elm Street 5?”

“Yup sounds good. Let’s go before we lose feeling in our toes completely.” I said and scrambled off the roof.

“Why did you go to the roof to think?”

“I love watching the stars. They are beautiful.” I smiled.

“Yeah when I saw you up there you looked lost in thought.”

“I was. Very dangerous place my mind is.”

“Hmmm.” he hummed and opened the door for me.

“Thank you good sir.” I chuckled.

“Anytime lovely lady.”

We quietly walked onto the bus and I wasn’t surprised to find Chris halfway out of his bunk again. I pushed him back onto his bed and again he kind of woke up.

“What were you two doing?” he asked sleepily.

“Talking. Go back to sleep Chris.”

“No fucking on the bus.” He yawned and then fell asleep.

“What- Why do your guys’ minds always go to that?” I asked Devin and he grinned sheepishly.

“We are guys Dev.”

“And Devin has a drooling crush on you.” Balz grumbled then opened his eyes to look at us both. “I have to admit Sola you are good with the ladies. I should take notes.”

“You were listening?”

“Of course. I hear everything.” he snorted then rolled over and went back to sleep.

“Our friends… I swear.” I shook my head and went back to the back room but found it occupied by a passed out Ricky. “When did he… you know what never mind.” I shook my head again and Devin laughed.

“I guess it is time to call it a night then.” he murmured and hugged me. “See you in the morning?”

“Of course.” I said and leaned up to kiss his cheek.

I rolled into my bunk and got out a note book.

Katie,

OH MY GOD!!! He likes me K! He likes me! And now I feel like my chest is being beaten to a bloody pulp by a gang of butterflies and knowing you when you read this you will laugh at my strangeness but that is really what it feels like. I can’t believe that all just happened.

So I went out to think about some shit and then he came out and we were talking and he all but asked me out and I almost started laughing because I was so happy but I didn’t because I bet that it would’ve came across offensive. I can’t wait for you to wake up so that you can meet these guys… like really meet them. You would love them. They are fucking hilarious and sweet and caring and fuck I’m started to really like TJ fucking Bell. I bet you never saw that one coming now did you?

You would like him to. I know it. I went to a club and then got cornered by this one guy and then TJ pulled a Hero of the Day moment and saved my sorry ass and I really feel like he is a friend. Then there are the guys in Motionless. They all sleep funny. I keep having to cram Chris back onto his bed. Ryan forgets to shut of his light. Angelo looks like a little kid. Balz is well he is Balz and you would have to meet him to understand that. I am pretty sure Ricky sleep walks. He will be dead asleep and then you will turn around and then turn back and he has moved himself but I am not sure about this theory of mine because I haven’t actually caught him in the act. Michael is like the big brother I always wanted but never had. And I know you want to hear something about BVB but I don’t really talk to them. I wave to like CC and Ashley but that is it. Maybe next month when I turn twenty one I can go to one of these parties and socialize a bit more. You know me. I can’t usually talk to new people unless something is in my system… but Devin is helping me drop that kind of stuff. I think that you would be proud of me. AND I’m not as ‘mean’ anymore but I will still get to shower before you and I will probably end up using the hot water. You love me anyways and you know it.

I love you and I know you know it even though I never say it and however you got pregnant it doesn’t matter to me… unless someone raped you… if that happened then I will hunt the mofo down and castrate the bastard with a rusty butter knife. But I hope you decide to keep him or her because I always wanted a niece or nephew. Sad thing is that because you attempted suicide once you wake up they will probably put you in impatient and take the kid. So because I love you and any demon spawn you may have unconditionally if it is okay with you and you want to keep the little one I will take care of the kiddo. Scary thought right? Me taking care of a rugrat? Dude first time that thing gets the shits I am using the garden hose. That made you smile I know it. Wake up soon Katie.

YIE,

Devlyn Marie