Sequel: Burned at Both Ends ›
Status: IT IS DONE XD I get my life back... just kidding because I have a few other stories and the sequel to work on... -_-
Cobwebs
Life is what you make it and I believe in this
It was at that part in the movie where the girl was hugging Edward and that part always made me smile. I loved Edward's character. I had always found beauty in odd places and his scars did nothing.
“Why are you smiling?” Ryan asked me. “She isn’t gonna go with him.”
“I know but the moment was perfect and it was like there were no boundaries. In real life when in the hell would you see a prep hugging someone covered in scars like that with blades on his hands? Never. You wouldn’t see that.” I answered.
“What would you have done if you were her?” Devin asked me in a soft voice. “Wouldn’t you have been afraid that he would hurt you?”
“No I wouldn’t have been afraid.” I said softly and moved the bracelets on my wrist. “We all have our scars. It isn’t like he could control that though… completely disregarding the fact that he is played by Johnny Depp Edward’s character is beautiful. If I could find a man with that personality that would treat me like he treats her I would be happy. I wouldn’t care what he looked like or what his imperfections were.”
“Do you still…” Ricky said and scratched his wrist.
“No but it took almost dying to get the strength to stop.” I said softly.
“What happened?” Balz asked. I looked up at them and realized that I was finally getting what I had wanted for so long. I was getting the chance to tell the people that saved my life just how much they meant to me.
“I-I… got into a fight with my mom and my little brother.” I whispered and stared at that part of my wrist that was still covered. “I had been bullied in school because of how I looked and it continued even after I graduated and no matter how much I told myself that I was stronger than them and that it wasn’t worth it that fight broke something in me and I don’t know what really happened. I went numb. I don’t know if it was because I was so tired of their shit or if it was the sadness or the anger but I couldn’t feel anything and my only thought that I remember having clearly was ‘I’m done.’ I took a lot of pills and I dug a blade into my wrist. As I was falling asleep I started to get scared and so I decided to listen to my music. I picked a random artist and blasted it in my ears. The drugs… took the better part of my memory of the week before and the week after. I remember a few things though. The first thing my mom said to me when I was out of the hospital was ‘Are you happy? Did you get what you wanted? Two of those nurses were my bosses!’ She had been crying and I had been foolish enough to think that she cared but no she was just worried about her fucking job. I would’ve tried again but again I started listening to music. It was the same artist. The words I was hearing made me feel so guilty and little that I made myself promise that I would never let myself be that weak ever again and that I would meet the people that made the music and I would thank them for helping me even if they didn’t know it and that I would tell them that they saved my life.”
“Have you met them yet?” Devin asked. I nodded and felt the tears in my eyes fall.
“I-I just did.” I murmured. “The last thing I heard before I fell asleep was City Lights and when I woke up the first two songs I heard were Cobwebs and Immaculate Misconception. September 17, 2012 I almost died and you guys saved my life. T-Thank you.” I said numbly and walked back to my bunk.
I crawled in and buried myself in my blanket and hugged my Jack Skellington pillow to my chest. There it was again. That knowing feeling in my chest that came back whenever I would talk about what had happened. I had almost died and if I would’ve gone just a bit deeper they wouldn’t have been able to save me. I had failed at everything even dying.
“You okay?” a soft voice asked and I turned over to see Devin looking at me sadly.
“I-I’ll be fine.” I whispered through my tears. “I get like this whenever I remember it. I don’t know why.”
“Because it is a sore spot in your memory. You shouldn’t have to go through this all alone though and now you have us whenever you need comfort.” he said softly and pulled me out to stand in front of him. I kept the blankets tight around my shoulders. “Thank you for telling us that. IT obviously wasn’t easy.” He hugged me and I leaned against his chest trying desperately to stop crying.
“Why are you smiling?” Ryan asked me. “She isn’t gonna go with him.”
“I know but the moment was perfect and it was like there were no boundaries. In real life when in the hell would you see a prep hugging someone covered in scars like that with blades on his hands? Never. You wouldn’t see that.” I answered.
“What would you have done if you were her?” Devin asked me in a soft voice. “Wouldn’t you have been afraid that he would hurt you?”
“No I wouldn’t have been afraid.” I said softly and moved the bracelets on my wrist. “We all have our scars. It isn’t like he could control that though… completely disregarding the fact that he is played by Johnny Depp Edward’s character is beautiful. If I could find a man with that personality that would treat me like he treats her I would be happy. I wouldn’t care what he looked like or what his imperfections were.”
“Do you still…” Ricky said and scratched his wrist.
“No but it took almost dying to get the strength to stop.” I said softly.
“What happened?” Balz asked. I looked up at them and realized that I was finally getting what I had wanted for so long. I was getting the chance to tell the people that saved my life just how much they meant to me.
“I-I… got into a fight with my mom and my little brother.” I whispered and stared at that part of my wrist that was still covered. “I had been bullied in school because of how I looked and it continued even after I graduated and no matter how much I told myself that I was stronger than them and that it wasn’t worth it that fight broke something in me and I don’t know what really happened. I went numb. I don’t know if it was because I was so tired of their shit or if it was the sadness or the anger but I couldn’t feel anything and my only thought that I remember having clearly was ‘I’m done.’ I took a lot of pills and I dug a blade into my wrist. As I was falling asleep I started to get scared and so I decided to listen to my music. I picked a random artist and blasted it in my ears. The drugs… took the better part of my memory of the week before and the week after. I remember a few things though. The first thing my mom said to me when I was out of the hospital was ‘Are you happy? Did you get what you wanted? Two of those nurses were my bosses!’ She had been crying and I had been foolish enough to think that she cared but no she was just worried about her fucking job. I would’ve tried again but again I started listening to music. It was the same artist. The words I was hearing made me feel so guilty and little that I made myself promise that I would never let myself be that weak ever again and that I would meet the people that made the music and I would thank them for helping me even if they didn’t know it and that I would tell them that they saved my life.”
“Have you met them yet?” Devin asked. I nodded and felt the tears in my eyes fall.
“I-I just did.” I murmured. “The last thing I heard before I fell asleep was City Lights and when I woke up the first two songs I heard were Cobwebs and Immaculate Misconception. September 17, 2012 I almost died and you guys saved my life. T-Thank you.” I said numbly and walked back to my bunk.
I crawled in and buried myself in my blanket and hugged my Jack Skellington pillow to my chest. There it was again. That knowing feeling in my chest that came back whenever I would talk about what had happened. I had almost died and if I would’ve gone just a bit deeper they wouldn’t have been able to save me. I had failed at everything even dying.
“You okay?” a soft voice asked and I turned over to see Devin looking at me sadly.
“I-I’ll be fine.” I whispered through my tears. “I get like this whenever I remember it. I don’t know why.”
“Because it is a sore spot in your memory. You shouldn’t have to go through this all alone though and now you have us whenever you need comfort.” he said softly and pulled me out to stand in front of him. I kept the blankets tight around my shoulders. “Thank you for telling us that. IT obviously wasn’t easy.” He hugged me and I leaned against his chest trying desperately to stop crying.
♠ ♠ ♠
Alright this was a so-so chapter but in my writing and my stories i usually put a piece of my past or present into the setting and yes Scissorhands is my favorite movie and I love Edward's character.On September 17, 2012 I really did almost succeed in killing myself except I don't think it was completely intentional but as the story said my memory is pretty well fucked around that time. Those songs are really what I heard. I do however remember pretty fucking clear my 'mother' saying those exact fucking words and that is the number one fucking reason I hate her. Also the reason I'm not exactly positive that I meant to do that was because when I woke up and had this huge fucking hole in my arm I was so scared I almost passed right back out... but I'm okay now just in case anyone was wondering. I just came out of it hating cops even more than I did before that and more stubborn in my beliefs that we are who we are and we're perfect that way no matter what anyone has to say about it.
That is what made me fall in love with Motionless in White. They did save my life because I dont know that I wouldnt have tried again if not for them. Thanks guys I literally owe you my life, heart and soul.
... just saying.
~
Title Credit: Motionless in White- Cobwebs