Are You Okay?

This isn’t meant to be funny. This is reality and I sucked at it. I preferred the encased space of my room. I liked to be behind a computer and type to my hearts content. I envied some of the writers I talked to. Some of them would have nice comments, telling me my stories had promise. I didn’t believe them. That is until my life spiraled into real fuckery. This was my life. The life I was given and the emotions I had, sadly. I’ll tell you the story that really changed my life. It was the day One Direction was in town. It was the same day I had the honor of meeting them, in real life.

Heart Attack would come to mind when you think about meeting one, or in this case five, of your idols. But, that wasn’t how it went for me. I graced them with my awkwardness and failure at keeping boldly fluids from escaping my body. It was extreme embarrassment to relive that when they mentioned it again.



I woke one morning to a very obnoxious alarm clock. I smacked it, hoping it wasn’t eight in the morning yet. I cracked an eye open to check. My clock read eight on the dot. I sighed while I heaved myself out of bed. I had two hours to get ready for my first class that day. I showered and quickly got dressed in my standard attire. Black, slightly flared jeans hugged my hips. I zipped my combat boots on and changed into my favorite white and gray, striped sweater. I wrapped my black scarf around my neck. It had the pattern of white and green triangles going along it. I liquid lined my top lid and straightened my bangs, while putting the rest of it in a messy bun. A few strands escaped, making it look even more careless.

I yawned as I finally completed my look for the day. Stretching I grabbed my phone to check the latest news of a few of my favorite artists. One of them had been so shocking, I could have died. I had to read and reread the article about ten times before I called my best friend, Gina. No answer meant she was still sleeping. My eyes wondered over to the clock. I still had an hour until I had to be in class. My thought process in the morning was slow, but I knew I couldn’t make it back in time. The sheer shock was too much to even handle.

I had to go. That was what ran through my head. I read the article once more before running out my front door after grabbing my car keys. This wasn’t the time to skip class, but it also wasn’t the time to miss out on a chance like this.

I revved my engine, not caring that my music was blasting way too loudly. Of course I should have turned it down once I made it to the “secret” location that the five boys were supposed to be. Their music emanated from my speakers until I parked and cut the engine quickly. I locked the doors and entered the building. Out of every single place to have as a surprise signing, they choose the obvious FYE, just seven miles from where I lived. To be honest, it wasn’t secret at all. They mentioned it in the article, they just didn’t specify which one. The thing was that there really wasn’t many around these parts and I figured it out all on my own.

Screaming girls were left and right. Security was heavy and I nearly forgot that I was an adult at the age of twenty-one. My fangirling would have been more acceptable if I were at least four years younger. Being the age I am, I had no shame getting in line for an autograph. Mentally hitting myself for forgetting my album, I had to go back and get it from the car. Before I even knew it, the line was being cut. I looked at the clock and it read that it was almost ten. My eyes started to water. The little hope I had, disappeared, so I threw the CD back in the car and waited.

Security was left and right, so I decided I would make myself look like an observer. I pulled out my Marlboro’s and lit one up. The girls that got the chance to see them up close fanned themselves and tears fell from their eyes. The unlucky ones cried while moping as their parents took them home. Soon enough the girls were basically all gone. Not remembering I had a lit cigarette in my hand, it burned down to the butt. I flicked it to the ground and stomped on it.

Seconds later I sighed. The last bit of hope I had in seeing them exit the store and into a van, was also a loss. I turned to light another tobacco stick until I felt a tapping on my shoulder. I swerved around waiting for a person to ask for a light and that’s what he asked.

But to my dismay, it was Zayn Jawaad Malik. The same boy in one of my favorite boy bands in the entire world. I felt the corner of my lips quiver. Zayn just touched my shoulder. My mind was reeling and my body was frozen. My body felt robotic as I light the cigarette for him, which surprised him.

“Thanks,” he smiled and blew out the smoke instantly, “are you a fan?” his eyes sparkled in the sun. The cigarette hung from his lips as he waited for an answer.

I finally gained the courage to answer, “yeah,” it sounded breathless and weak.

“Did you get an autograph?” he asked caringly.

“No,” I exhaled a breath.

“Would you like one?” he asked.

“Um,” I turned my head as I saw the other boys heading our way, “sure,” I went back to my car and got my unused album. I handed it to him and he happily signed it.

“Zayn,” I heard a deep voice call, “why are you hogging the attractive birds?” I knew it was Harry. He was always saying flirtatious things.

I looked at him and regretted it. The three other boys followed Harry closely behind, laughing and smiling.

“Sorry,” he apologized, “you look like you’re sixteen.”

I heard a shaky laugh escape my lips, trying to hide the fact I was extremely awkward. I regained the little coolness I had and replied, “I’m not sixteen.”

“Oh, how old could you be honey? Seventeen?” he smirked being cocky.

“I’ll have you know I’ll be twenty-two in just two months,” it felt strange to have my normal voice back.

“Sorry, love,” he threw his arms up.

It wasn’t until Louis William Tomlinson spoke that I went back to awkward, “you tell him girl,” showing his fun-loving side.

If that wasn’t enough to kill me, I was already dead. I felt my palms sweating as Zayn handed the CD to Harry, “here,” he took the cigarette out of his mouth, “sign it for her.”

Harry rose an eyebrow and scribbled his name on it, hading it over to Louis. He smiled as he signed my album.

“Anything else you want us to sign?” Zayn smiled at me, eyeing me head to toe.

I went back to my car and grabbed my phone, “no,” I rose my mobile device, “can I get a picture,” I asked, “if that’s not too much?” I laughed, not noticing I sounded like a nerd. To top that off, I ended the laugh with a snort, “sorry.”

“You have a batman sticker on your car,” Liam’s eyes grew.

“Yes,” I nodded, “Batman is my hero, literally.”

“Brilliant,” Liam signed my CD, which left Niall for last.

Niall stood behind all the guys and scribbled his name carelessly on it. I frowned at him.

“Niall,” I got his attention, “hi.”

He smiled, showing off his braces, “hello,” his Irish brogue in tack.

I had to lean against the care due to lack of eating. Also because I have all the boys of One Direction in front of me, being nice. I couldn't handle all the feels that grew in me. I tried to stay conscience but, it wasn’t working out so well.

“Are you okay,” I heard Liam’s concerned voice.

“Boys,” another voice farther away called them. I figured it was Paul, trying to get them back in the van.

Before I knew what was happening, I blacked out. I felt my body tingle with heaviness. Where was I again? Was I sleeping? Had I passed out because I refused to stop writing? I couldn’t feel anything else but the heaviness. Everything had gone black. I knew I had died. I was dead know. I died in front of someone… or more than one person. Wasn’t there two voices?