Sequel: Big Blue Crush ›
Crimson Red Rush
Crimson Red Rush
"So what are we doing today?" Johnny was oblivious as everyone else as I rolled up pieces of paper and put them in my mouth, I put the straw to my lips and aimed at Bam, shooting the spit wad at his cheek, I shoved the straw I had in my drink innocently, acting as if I was focusing on drinking sprite.
"What the fuck!"
"What?" Charlie asked
"Someone spit wadded me," he glared at Johnny then to Ryan before he focused on me. "You."
"I didn't do it," I said thankful I hid the paper in my lap before I spit at him. "What are you talking about?"
"Never mind," he grumbled as conversation started up again, I pulled more napkin pieces out and stuffed them in my mouth quietly, then pulled my straw from my drink and shot a spit wad at Bam again, Ryan seen me and about broke into hysterical laughter but shut up when Bam wiped his face, I remained my innocent drinking charade.
"Oh god,” Ryan shook his head and held back tears.
“He’ll kill you,” Char stared at me as Bam stared out the window once more, me spitting at him again.
“Maybe so,” I shrugged as Bam glared at me.
“Knock it the fuck off.”
"I don't think I will," I bit off a piece of napkin and spit at his arm, he wiped it off in disgust before he picked up a napkin.
"Two can play at this game," he grumbled as he bit off a piece of napkin harshly and spit it at me; I shielded myself with a menu as Ryan was struck in the ear.
"Oh fuck that's gross!"
"Poor Ryan," I whispered as I looked across at Bam, and spit it, it hit the middle of his forehead and stuck as everyone at the table erupted into laughter.
"Ewww,” He picked it off and threw it to the ground.
“There’s more where that came from,” I grinned and spit again, this time hitting Char in the cheek.
“Fuck!” She squealed and pulled it off her, throwing it at Knoxville.
"Sorry Char, bad aim," I giggled and shook my head. "Dirty inside joke with Ville and me," I explained when Ryan shot me a Are you high look.
"Now I know I'll never ask," Johnny shook his head and ducked under a menu he held up as Char began to shoot spit wads.
"It'd be best, its kind of a long story that involves the show dirty jobs, a horse's sperm and a lot of laughter," I nodded my head slowly.
"Sounds like Jackass Number Two,” Char commented. “Remember? Then you guys drank it!”
“That was fucking gross,” I shook my head. “I puked.”
“I know,” Bam nodded. “On my lap. At the premiere.”
“Sorry,” I shrugged and hid behind Ryan.
"Yeah, Armani was pissed though," Bam chuckled
"Well, next time don't let anyone drink a fucking mason jar full of sperm," I shivered. "That was fucked up."
"Sperm is supposed to clean you're teeth and whiten them, I really hope my dentist isn't the one that sent me that email," Char shivered. "Nasty old bastard."
"Nope,” I shook my head. “I know who sent it.”
“Who?”
“Bam,” I grinned. “Hint, hint!”
“You're sick,” Bam glared at me as I stuck out my tongue.
"I know you are but what am I?" I asked in a childlike tone while I took a sip of my glass.
"God! And you say I'm the child in the family," he grumbled as I giggled and pulled out my phone. "Who are you calling?"
"Jess, I want to ask for a second opinion," I grinned as it began to rang.
"Hello?"
"Jess, hey big brother," I grinned slightly as he laughed. "Got a question for you."
"Shoot."
"Nah, I don't have a gun," I started as I shifted the phone to my shoulder holding it up. "Charlie got an email saying sperm is good for whitening you're teethes, and she said the old bastard that does her teeth probably sent it and I said hint, hint Bam sent it and he said I was the child in the family when he called me sick and I said I know you are but what am I, so who's more childish?"
"Charlie."
"What the hell?” I looked at the phone for a second before putting it back to my ear.
“Well, she should know by now that it was Bam.”
“Oh,” I laughed. “Your right.”
"I always am, I'm you're big brother, many years of experience you don't have," he prided himself in saying as I rolled my eyes.
"I'll put you on speaker and let you tell them all who is the childish and why," I said as I pushed speaker.
"Whose all there Joe?"
"Dunn, Knoxville, Charlie, Bam and I. We're at the waffle hut as Bam says," I laughed as I sat the phone on the table. "Okay speakers on."
"Alright, so it's Charlie because she should know that only Bam would send such bullshit, naïve little girl."
"It’s not my fault I’m an idiot!” She whined. “I wouldn’t have done it anyway.”
“Sure,” I smirked, everyone but Char laughing.
“Fuck you guys,” She glared at me and then the phone. “You too, Jess. I had a huge crush on you when I was little, but fuck that.”
"Aw I'm sorry Charlie, ha that was funny," he chuckled at his own joke. "Get a brain babe, or at least let Joey check you're mail for you."
"So that basically means if an email says to buy sugar off the corner street, don't and let me read it," I said slowly
"Exactly," Jess laughed and seemed distracted for a minute. "Gotta go, Ava just woke up from her nap."
"Tell my niece that I love her," I said laughing
"Will do, love you Joey, bye assholes."
"Fuck you too," everyone except me yelled
"Well,” Char sighed. “That was interesting.”
“Very,” I nodded as the waitress walked back up to the table.
"It's normal," Ryan waved his hand with a laugh, brushing the shock away from our faces. "We always say fuck you to those we love and admire."
"So, if I love you, I say I hate you?" I asked
"Its opposites so yeah," Ryan nodded, I nodded for a second then stood up in my chair.
"I fucking hate Jackass and Wild Boys and that other dumbass show called Viva La Bam, what a fucking moron that Bam guy is, I hate that son—" Ryan pulled me down and covered my mouth with his hand.
"Sorry, she's on leave from the psyche ward, she has multiple personality disorder, bipolar syndrome and a little bit autistic and also has tourettes.
"Oh,” The waitress said, wide eyed. “Can I just take your orders?”
“You know what,” Char began. “I think we’re just going to leave.”
“Oh, okay,” The waitress nodded as all of us walked back out to Charlie’s car.
“You guys are idiots,” She sighed and leaned against the hood. “Can we just go see my parent’s now?”
"Bye!" I screamed waving at the couple leaving the waffle house, they looked at me weird as I got ready to drive.
"You're going to let her drive?" the woman asked pointing at me as Bam helped Charlie in the back.
"Yes ma'am, she's an excellent driver, she rarely drives on the wrong side of the road," Bam nodded with a smile.
"Harry we're driving the opposite way they are going," the woman said to her husband.
"Okay,” Her husband nodded as they rushed to their car and out of the parking lot.
“Oh my fucking god!” Johnny screamed, everyone laughing hysterically.
“I can’t believe it,” Bam shook his head and got in the car next to Char.
“Boys,” I leaned out the car window and looked at Ryan and Johnny. “See you at the house? Or maybe Charlie’s parents?”
“No,” Ryan shook his head. “I went over her house once, they almost killed me.”
“Oh,” I laughed and pulled out of the parking lot.
"So you're parents are feral?" Bam asked slightly scared.
"They are particular," I grinned as Bam looked behind him at Charlie.
"Will they mind a camera man in their house? I mean I need it filmed if they go all crazy," he shrugged.
"Um,” She looked out the window then to Bam. “They might be okay with it.”
“Key word: might,” I mumbled, Bam grunting.
“This will not be fun.”
“Not for you, Bam,” I shook my head.
"What about you?" Bam snapped as he glanced at me. "You're worse than me, sometimes."
"Actually she's an angel around my parents; they love her more than they love me. It's slightly depressing when you think about it," Charlie shrugged her shoulders. "Gives me spare time to breathe."
"You're a strange woman," I nodded. "But its okay."
"I know,” She nodded. “Cause you brother loves me.”
“No I don’t!” he whined and began blushing.
"Idiot," I laughed as he continued to blush and mumble words unsuitable for our ears.
"Fucker," he grumbled and punched my arm.
"Asshole," I punched his arm with my right hand.
"Bitch," he punched me again, Charlie slapped us both and growled.
"Shut the fuck up, God you're more like twins than anything."
"Maybe so,” I shrugged and pulled up to Char’s parent’s house. “Well, here we are.”
“Great,” Bam sighed, all of us getting out of the car and walking to the door.
“Here we go,” Charlie knocked on the door twice before her mom opened it.
“Charlotte? What are you doing here? And why is there a camera man?” She asked, scared. “What did you do?”
"Miss A! You're on candid camera!" I laughed and hugged her while pulling Bam in behind me. "This is my brother Bam, please call him Brandon and he will be here with us, he's the reason you have a camera man in you're house, he host his own show as well."
"Oh," she nodded in understanding as she smiled. "Charlotte get in here."
"Gee mah, no hug?"
"No,” She said sternly and pulled her into another room.
“Whoopsies,” I giggled. “We’ve gotten Char in a bit of trouble.”
"Go save her, her mommy loves you," Bam pushed me in the door; I sighed and smiled as I ran over to her mother Anne and hugged her.
"Mommy dearest why are you getting onto Charlotte?"
"Because she—"
"Mom seriously," Charlie shook her head and walked a way. "I love you but get over it."
"I guess I’ll have to,” Anne said softly as Char walked with me back out to the living room.
"What the fuck!"
"What?" Charlie asked
"Someone spit wadded me," he glared at Johnny then to Ryan before he focused on me. "You."
"I didn't do it," I said thankful I hid the paper in my lap before I spit at him. "What are you talking about?"
"Never mind," he grumbled as conversation started up again, I pulled more napkin pieces out and stuffed them in my mouth quietly, then pulled my straw from my drink and shot a spit wad at Bam again, Ryan seen me and about broke into hysterical laughter but shut up when Bam wiped his face, I remained my innocent drinking charade.
"Oh god,” Ryan shook his head and held back tears.
“He’ll kill you,” Char stared at me as Bam stared out the window once more, me spitting at him again.
“Maybe so,” I shrugged as Bam glared at me.
“Knock it the fuck off.”
"I don't think I will," I bit off a piece of napkin and spit at his arm, he wiped it off in disgust before he picked up a napkin.
"Two can play at this game," he grumbled as he bit off a piece of napkin harshly and spit it at me; I shielded myself with a menu as Ryan was struck in the ear.
"Oh fuck that's gross!"
"Poor Ryan," I whispered as I looked across at Bam, and spit it, it hit the middle of his forehead and stuck as everyone at the table erupted into laughter.
"Ewww,” He picked it off and threw it to the ground.
“There’s more where that came from,” I grinned and spit again, this time hitting Char in the cheek.
“Fuck!” She squealed and pulled it off her, throwing it at Knoxville.
"Sorry Char, bad aim," I giggled and shook my head. "Dirty inside joke with Ville and me," I explained when Ryan shot me a Are you high look.
"Now I know I'll never ask," Johnny shook his head and ducked under a menu he held up as Char began to shoot spit wads.
"It'd be best, its kind of a long story that involves the show dirty jobs, a horse's sperm and a lot of laughter," I nodded my head slowly.
"Sounds like Jackass Number Two,” Char commented. “Remember? Then you guys drank it!”
“That was fucking gross,” I shook my head. “I puked.”
“I know,” Bam nodded. “On my lap. At the premiere.”
“Sorry,” I shrugged and hid behind Ryan.
"Yeah, Armani was pissed though," Bam chuckled
"Well, next time don't let anyone drink a fucking mason jar full of sperm," I shivered. "That was fucked up."
"Sperm is supposed to clean you're teeth and whiten them, I really hope my dentist isn't the one that sent me that email," Char shivered. "Nasty old bastard."
"Nope,” I shook my head. “I know who sent it.”
“Who?”
“Bam,” I grinned. “Hint, hint!”
“You're sick,” Bam glared at me as I stuck out my tongue.
"I know you are but what am I?" I asked in a childlike tone while I took a sip of my glass.
"God! And you say I'm the child in the family," he grumbled as I giggled and pulled out my phone. "Who are you calling?"
"Jess, I want to ask for a second opinion," I grinned as it began to rang.
"Hello?"
"Jess, hey big brother," I grinned slightly as he laughed. "Got a question for you."
"Shoot."
"Nah, I don't have a gun," I started as I shifted the phone to my shoulder holding it up. "Charlie got an email saying sperm is good for whitening you're teethes, and she said the old bastard that does her teeth probably sent it and I said hint, hint Bam sent it and he said I was the child in the family when he called me sick and I said I know you are but what am I, so who's more childish?"
"Charlie."
"What the hell?” I looked at the phone for a second before putting it back to my ear.
“Well, she should know by now that it was Bam.”
“Oh,” I laughed. “Your right.”
"I always am, I'm you're big brother, many years of experience you don't have," he prided himself in saying as I rolled my eyes.
"I'll put you on speaker and let you tell them all who is the childish and why," I said as I pushed speaker.
"Whose all there Joe?"
"Dunn, Knoxville, Charlie, Bam and I. We're at the waffle hut as Bam says," I laughed as I sat the phone on the table. "Okay speakers on."
"Alright, so it's Charlie because she should know that only Bam would send such bullshit, naïve little girl."
"It’s not my fault I’m an idiot!” She whined. “I wouldn’t have done it anyway.”
“Sure,” I smirked, everyone but Char laughing.
“Fuck you guys,” She glared at me and then the phone. “You too, Jess. I had a huge crush on you when I was little, but fuck that.”
"Aw I'm sorry Charlie, ha that was funny," he chuckled at his own joke. "Get a brain babe, or at least let Joey check you're mail for you."
"So that basically means if an email says to buy sugar off the corner street, don't and let me read it," I said slowly
"Exactly," Jess laughed and seemed distracted for a minute. "Gotta go, Ava just woke up from her nap."
"Tell my niece that I love her," I said laughing
"Will do, love you Joey, bye assholes."
"Fuck you too," everyone except me yelled
"Well,” Char sighed. “That was interesting.”
“Very,” I nodded as the waitress walked back up to the table.
"It's normal," Ryan waved his hand with a laugh, brushing the shock away from our faces. "We always say fuck you to those we love and admire."
"So, if I love you, I say I hate you?" I asked
"Its opposites so yeah," Ryan nodded, I nodded for a second then stood up in my chair.
"I fucking hate Jackass and Wild Boys and that other dumbass show called Viva La Bam, what a fucking moron that Bam guy is, I hate that son—" Ryan pulled me down and covered my mouth with his hand.
"Sorry, she's on leave from the psyche ward, she has multiple personality disorder, bipolar syndrome and a little bit autistic and also has tourettes.
"Oh,” The waitress said, wide eyed. “Can I just take your orders?”
“You know what,” Char began. “I think we’re just going to leave.”
“Oh, okay,” The waitress nodded as all of us walked back out to Charlie’s car.
“You guys are idiots,” She sighed and leaned against the hood. “Can we just go see my parent’s now?”
"Bye!" I screamed waving at the couple leaving the waffle house, they looked at me weird as I got ready to drive.
"You're going to let her drive?" the woman asked pointing at me as Bam helped Charlie in the back.
"Yes ma'am, she's an excellent driver, she rarely drives on the wrong side of the road," Bam nodded with a smile.
"Harry we're driving the opposite way they are going," the woman said to her husband.
"Okay,” Her husband nodded as they rushed to their car and out of the parking lot.
“Oh my fucking god!” Johnny screamed, everyone laughing hysterically.
“I can’t believe it,” Bam shook his head and got in the car next to Char.
“Boys,” I leaned out the car window and looked at Ryan and Johnny. “See you at the house? Or maybe Charlie’s parents?”
“No,” Ryan shook his head. “I went over her house once, they almost killed me.”
“Oh,” I laughed and pulled out of the parking lot.
"So you're parents are feral?" Bam asked slightly scared.
"They are particular," I grinned as Bam looked behind him at Charlie.
"Will they mind a camera man in their house? I mean I need it filmed if they go all crazy," he shrugged.
"Um,” She looked out the window then to Bam. “They might be okay with it.”
“Key word: might,” I mumbled, Bam grunting.
“This will not be fun.”
“Not for you, Bam,” I shook my head.
"What about you?" Bam snapped as he glanced at me. "You're worse than me, sometimes."
"Actually she's an angel around my parents; they love her more than they love me. It's slightly depressing when you think about it," Charlie shrugged her shoulders. "Gives me spare time to breathe."
"You're a strange woman," I nodded. "But its okay."
"I know,” She nodded. “Cause you brother loves me.”
“No I don’t!” he whined and began blushing.
"Idiot," I laughed as he continued to blush and mumble words unsuitable for our ears.
"Fucker," he grumbled and punched my arm.
"Asshole," I punched his arm with my right hand.
"Bitch," he punched me again, Charlie slapped us both and growled.
"Shut the fuck up, God you're more like twins than anything."
"Maybe so,” I shrugged and pulled up to Char’s parent’s house. “Well, here we are.”
“Great,” Bam sighed, all of us getting out of the car and walking to the door.
“Here we go,” Charlie knocked on the door twice before her mom opened it.
“Charlotte? What are you doing here? And why is there a camera man?” She asked, scared. “What did you do?”
"Miss A! You're on candid camera!" I laughed and hugged her while pulling Bam in behind me. "This is my brother Bam, please call him Brandon and he will be here with us, he's the reason you have a camera man in you're house, he host his own show as well."
"Oh," she nodded in understanding as she smiled. "Charlotte get in here."
"Gee mah, no hug?"
"No,” She said sternly and pulled her into another room.
“Whoopsies,” I giggled. “We’ve gotten Char in a bit of trouble.”
"Go save her, her mommy loves you," Bam pushed me in the door; I sighed and smiled as I ran over to her mother Anne and hugged her.
"Mommy dearest why are you getting onto Charlotte?"
"Because she—"
"Mom seriously," Charlie shook her head and walked a way. "I love you but get over it."
"I guess I’ll have to,” Anne said softly as Char walked with me back out to the living room.
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