Last Girl Standing

My dearest Abelia,

I know that you’re not going to understand why I’m doing this right now. But I hope that as you become older it’ll come to light for you too. I can’t keep living this lie that I’ve come to know as my life. We’ve become like prisoners, your mother and I, and it’s not fair to either of us or to you. Tolstoy was right Abelia, there is no such thing as love. There is nothing but sexual attraction. Don’t ever trust a boy who says he loves you, because there is only one thing he wants from you, and it’s not to spend the rest of your lives together. Maybe you’ll prove me wrong, maybe you’ll be that one in a million case, but I thought that way about your mother too. Above all, I don’t want you to think this is your fault. I care about you Abelia, and I hope you’ll grow up to be a brilliant, beautiful woman who knows what really goes on in the world.



Zayn sighed as he closed the worn out novel, wondering who in the Hell Abelia’s father thought he was. He wondered why she would cherish something that had a note like that in the beginning, but figured with the way he’d treated her as of late he had no place to accuse someone else of being an asshole. He pressed his lips together before walking over to the patio where he saw her sitting by the pool, reading The Kreutzer Sonata again. He sighed and forced himself to put one foot in front of the other as he made his way over.

“Abelia.” He said. Her eyes snapped up to his and she stood.

“Zayn.” She whispered, but then she pressed her lips together. “Don’t you have another girl to go make out with?” She asked, crossing her arms in front of her. She had heard about the kiss he’d shared with Kass, and hadn’t really spoken to either of them since. She had thought Kass was her friend too, but it looked like the only person she could trust in this place was herself. Zayn winced at her harsh words, but he couldn’t deny the truth behind her statement.

“Actually, you left this in the cabin.” He extended the worn copy of War and Peace to her. She gingerly took it in her hands, not failing to notice the glue Zayn had applied to fix the tear he’d made in the spine. “And, I’m really sorry, for what I said.” Her eyes met his again and she just wanted to leap into his arms and forgive him. But she couldn’t forget the way he’d snapped at her, telling the only thing her father had left besides her broken mother was ‘just a damn book.’

“Thank you.” She said simply, cradling the old edition to her chest like a child. They were both quiet for a long time before Zayn finally spoke.

“Abelia I-”

“Zayn!” A female voice cooed. They both looked up to see Chelsea about to spill out of her tank top. “Want to try our little kiss challenge again? I’ve learned a few more tricks.” She gave him a sultry wink and Zayn let out a long breath. He turned back to apologize to Abelia, but she was already gone.

“Abelia?” He called out. He started getting worried, wondering where she might have gone. Ignoring Chelsea he made his way down the patio stairs and started headed down the beach, following the footsteps that were too small to be anyone else’s.

Abelia let out a long sigh, finally collapsing into the warm sand and kicking off her shoes. Maybe she should just stop trusting men in general. Maybe she should become a nun. Maybe she should go for the whole Christian Martyr thing. She pulled her knees up into her chest when she felt a hand slowly start rubbing her back. Her head flew up to be met with a pair of familiar blue eyes. “Oh, hi Niall.” She whispered, resting her head back on her knees as he sat beside her.

“Zayn again?” He asked.

“Yeah.” She whispered. “Every time I start thinking maybe he’s different he slams my hopes right back in my face.” Niall looked over at her sympathetically, pulling her into a one armed hug.

“It’s alright love.” He promised. “Maybe Zayn’s just not the lad for you.” Abelia furrowed her eyebrows together before looking back up at the stunning blonde boy. Was he saying what she thought he was saying? He simply smiled and stood. “Wait right here.” He said. She opened her mouth to object, but he was already gone. She briefly considered leaving, running before Zayn could catch up to her, but decided against it. She took her copy of War and Peace and set it down in her lap. She then quickly pulled off her cardigan, wrapping the book inside before setting the fabric against the warm white sand.

The sun was starting to dip down in the sky, setting the sky and ocean on fire, when she heard someone starting to play a guitar. She turned to see Niall, strumming lazily against the strings as he made his way over to her. A broad smile took over his face as he stopped playing and extended his hand to her. She took it, letting him pull her to her feet before he motioned for her to follow him out into the waves as he started to sing.

“I’ve been waiting on a sunset
Bills on my mindset
I can’t deny they’re getting’ high
Higher than my income
Income’s bread crumbs
I’ve been trying to survive
The glow that the sun gets right around sunset
Helps me realize
This is just a journey, drop your worries
You are gonna turn out fine
Fine, oh, you’ll turn out fine
But you gotta keep your head up, oh
And you can let your hair down, hey
You gotta keep your head up, oh
And you can let your hair down, hey”

He stopped playing the guitar, swinging it around to his back as he took her hands and pulled her close, the waves lapping at their bare feet.

“I know it’s hard, know it’s hard
To remember sometimes
But you gotta keep your head up, oh
And you can let your hair down, hey”

They both looked at each other for a long time; Abelia’s heart thudding just like the other night on the beach, but this time, she wasn’t going to run away. If Zayn wanted to be a player and try and sleep with every girl in the house she wasn’t going to concern herself. Tolstoy and her father might have been right about him, but maybe they were wrong about Niall. He always seemed to be there for her, and last night on their date they couldn’t stop laughing together. Niall just made her happy. There was no other way she could describe it. He had only kissed her hand when they’d gotten back, saying he’d rather wait until there wasn’t a camera around, and Abelia had to thank him for that.

Both their faces were bright red as they kept their gazes locked. Niall pulled her even closer, cupping her face in one of his hands and running his thumb over her cheek. His other hand moved down to her waist. She couldn’t breathe as she let her hands rest against his chest as he started to lean towards her. Her heart was slamming against her ribs so violently she was sure he could feel it as their noses touched. He swallowed nervously angling his head slightly more to the side before stopping.

She felt like a rock had dropped into her stomach. Did her breath smell bad? Did he not find her attractive after all? She was about to pull away to ask him what was wrong when he crashed his lips passionately to hers. She melted into his arms as he kept their lips together, letting them move in perfect sync. When he finally pulled away and Abelia opened her eyes she felt like she must have been dreaming, Niall was an amazing kisser. But she couldn’t help but feel like something was very, very wrong. It was like a rock was sitting in her stomach and she didn’t know why. She let her gaze move up to Niall, who was staring almost smugly at someone. She followed his gaze and realized why she felt like she was going to be sick.

Zayn was standing by her cardigan, his expression completely broken as he looked at her. Finally he pressed his lips together and turned back to the mansion. “Zayn!” She hollered, starting after him. But a strong pair of hands held her back.

“Let him go love.” Niall whispered into her ear. “He’s done the same thing to you how many times now?”

“But…” She started. However, she couldn’t find the words to finish her sentence. Zayn had done nothing but hurt her this entire time, so why did she feel so guilty when he looked at her like that? She turned back to Niall, who had been nothing but sweet and supportive. She remembered him comforting her after Zayn left her broken on the beach, and even now, when she was reminded that Zayn never seemed to choose her for anything if he had any say. She remembered him saying that he felt he had the most in common with October and her gaze fell to the sand.

She couldn’t compete with October, or Kass, or Chelsea, or any of the small army of women fighting for Zayn’s constant attention. No matter what she did he would always just see her as some pathetic little bookworm and he seemed to only be good at breaking her heart. She turned back to Niall, burying her face in his chest as he kissed the top of her head. “Come on love.” He whispered. “Let’s go back to the house.” He helped Abelia grab her things as they both headed back to the mansion. She stopped him at the door, giving him a small kiss on the cheek.

“I think I can make it from here.” She whispered, extending her hand for her things.

“Are you sure?” He asked. She simply nodded, wanting nothing more than to go collapse on her mattress and never wake up. Niall handed over her shoes and cardigan, his guitar still hung over his back. “Abelia.” He said as she started to leave. She stopped, her gaze turning back to the guilty looking boy before her.

“Yes?” She asked, not sure she could handle any more drama today. Niall sighed, looking at her with sad blue eyes.

“I… I might have…” Whatever this was it looked like it was going to drive him mad. She set her things down and walked back over to him, thankful there were no cameras around.

“It’s alright Niall.” He let out a long breath, his gaze locked on the floor. He let out a long breath, running one of his hands through his hair.

“You are a smart, beautiful girl and any lad would be lucky to have you.” Her heart dropped.

“There’s a but coming, isn’t there?” She whispered. His eyes fell to the ground before he closed them.

“I only kissed you like that because Zayn was there.” He said quickly. Abelia felt like someone had just punched her repeatedly in the stomach.

“What?”

“You know how Zayn kissed all those other girls and it made you really upset?” She narrowed her eyes at him.

“How did you…?”

“It’s not that hard to see love. You looked like you were going to burst into tears after that stupid snogging contest.” His eyes fell back to the ground. “Anyway, I felt the same way when Zayn was like that with one of the girls, one he knew that I really liked. And everyone knows he’s mad about you, so I only kissed you to get back at him.” His eyes were watery as he looked back up at her.

“Niall…” She whispered.

“It was stupid, I know and I’m so sorry Lia.” He said.

“So, the other night at the beach?” She asked. He pressed his lips together.

“Zayn followed you. I knew he was there the whole time.” He whispered.

“And our date?”

“I knew it would piss him off.” She just shook her head and started backing away from him. “Lia-” He started.

“Was… was anything between us ever real?” He licked his now dry lips and she took his silence as her answer. Fighting off tears she grabbed her things. “Goodbye Niall.” She said coldly. Without another word she made her way to her room, slamming the door behind her. She sat on her bed for a long time before taking her copy of War and Peace and flipping to her father's note. As she read it over and over it finally hit her, her father was right. He had always been right. She didn’t even realize she was crying until she saw a tear hit the page, leaving a small splatter. She sat there for what felt like hours before she felt a small hand on her shoulder.

“Abelia?” She turned to see Kass looking at her. The redheaded girl looked at Abelia’s tears, her book, then back to her tears. “What’s wrong?” She asked. Abelia just continued to sit there, tears rolling down her cheeks before Kass wrapped her in a tight hug. Finally she heard a small, muffled voice she knew belonged to Abelia.

“I wish I had never come here.”