Last Girl Standing

Cool water lapped at Kassandra’s legs as they hung over the edge of the pool. The girls had gotten home a few hours earlier and Abelia had told her about the date, it sounded like fun and Kass was glad that Abelia had a good time. It was pretty clear that Abelia found her match and Kass couldn’t have been happier for her, it gave her a happy memory to think of when she knew she would be getting voted off. All of the boys had someone. Harry had Sadie, Zayn had Abelia, Niall had October, Louis had a couple girls, and Liam… Liam had Jenna. The only girl he felt he had a connection with.

Shaking her head, Kass bit her lip and wiped away a tear as it fell down her cheek. She hadn’t cried since her grandmother died. Rubbing the pearl pendant that hung at her collar bone, she felt like such an idiot. Crying over a boy that never really cared for her. It was so stupid, but his words just kept repeating in her head.

“I would pick Jenna... I feel a connection with you that I haven’t felt with any other girl in the house … I told you that I could see us making it to the end together, and I still see that now. Everything I said to you I truly meant. You’re the girl for me, Jenna. I only wish I’d seen it sooner, so I didn’t spend so much time playing games, but I’m not going to let anything come between us again. I can promise you that.”

Kass was just a game. That’s what it boiled down to, if he didn’t feel a connection to her, than it was all just a game. The tattoo, the dancing, the reconciliation. He was just playing the game and she meant nothing. Maybe it wasn’t really him that she was crying over, maybe it was just the way he made her feel worthless.

Wiping away another stray tear, she heard a light thud as a figure climbed over the wall. At first she figured it was Louis off to go shag one of the girls, probably Megan since she was the easy one, but as he walked into the dim light that the pool gave off, she couldn’t believe her eyes.

“Liam?” she said, trying to hide the sadness in her voice as his head snapped over to her.

His eyes were slits for a moment before he realized who it was, and his look softened slightly. He glanced toward the mansion for a moment before slowly walking over to the red head, her shoulders slumped as she clutched at the pools edge. Liam was the last person she wanted to see at that moment.

“Hi,” he said still a good three feet from her. “I’m-”

“What are you doing here?” Kass asked interrupting him. She didn’t want his apology. It wouldn’t make up for anything, she still was nothing to him, she wasn’t Jenna.

“I was…” Looking to the ground, he trailed off.

“Oh,”Kass murmured her eyes falling to the water as they misted over once again. “Going to see Jenna, of course, sorry. I…” Looking up at the stars, she let her words fall before they reached her lips. It didn’t matter anymore.

“Are you alright?”

Scoffing, she turned her tear stained face to look at the boy, “Am I alright?” Shaking her head, she couldn’t believe he had the audacity to ask that. “Yeah, I’m just peachy.”

“Kass, I-”

“What more could you possibly have to say?” Kass said her voice raising slightly as a few tears fell from her eyes. “I mean really, wasn’t it all covered.” Pausing, she turned her shoulders so she was more comfortable. “‘I’d pick Jenna.’ Because she’s the only girl in the house you have a connection with and you wish you wouldn’t have wasted so much time playing games.”

Getting up from where she sat, she walked over to him. Five foot one and barefoot, she was anything but intimidating. Still, she wanted him to see what he’d done. She wanted him to see how he’d hurt her.

“Kass, I’m so sorry,” he said reaching a hand out towards her shoulder, but she smacked it away.

“No, I’m sorry,” she said fighting back the sobs that were threatening to course through her. “I’m sorry I was just a game that wasted you precious time with Jenna.” Looking towards the door, Kass bit her lips. “You know, if you would have just left it at picking Jenna, it wouldn’t have hurt so much, but you were careless with those words. You were just as careless with what you said as I was when I met you and you judged me for that.” Bringing her eyes back to the boy, she locked her grey ones with his brown. “You judged me for something that was clearly a miscommunication and I deserved that, but now I’m judging you for your crystal clear words and you fucking deserve it, too.” Stepping closer, she poked his chest. “Liam, you are not the man I thought you were.”

“That’s a little uncalled for,” Liam said straightening his shoulders, looking hurt.

“Yeah, well so was letting me go through with a tattoo when you didn’t feel a damn thing for me, but that was just part of the game wasn’t it?” she asked as she stepped back and started for the little table set beneath two large trees that sat near the pool.

“Kass, you were not a game,” he replied following her.

“Then what the hell was I, Liam?” she demanded wiping around to smack his arm. “Was I nothing? Do I really mean absolutely nothing to you?”

“I…”

“What? You what?” she shouted after a short silence.

“I don’t know, Kass,” he said, his brow drawn together. “I just… I don’t know.” Biting his lip, he looked away from the red head for a second.

As she brought his eyes back to her, she looked at him with as a calm fell over her shoulders.

“You know, I spent a lot of time thinking that I didn’t deserve you.” Kass began, Liam opened his mouth, but she continued before he could say anything, “But maybe I was wrong, maybe it’s the other way around.” Looking him in the eye, she whispered, “Maybe you don’t deserve me.”

Turning around, she walked away, but he caught her wrist. “Kass, I came here tonight to see Jenna, but I promised someone that would give you another chance.”

“Give me another chance,” she scoffed, breaking her wrist from his hold. “You really don’t get it do you?” Crossing her arms, she moved so that her feet were touching his shoes as she looked up at him. “I don’t want to be an option. I just want to be the choice, and you’ve already made yours.” Shaking her head, she dropped her gaze to his sneakers. “I'm not blind, I get it. She's the better option, she prettier and thinner and taller and probably smarter, but just once I wanted someone to pick me... Maybe it was stupid for me to think that would be you. I kind of feel like a huge idiot because you never even gave me a chance to begin with and I still thought that we had something...”

A tear started down her cheek and Liam wiped it away with the pad of his thumb, the rough texture of his fingertip against her skin brought her eyes back to him as he dropped to his knees and grabbed her hands. He looked just as heartbroken as she felt, but she doubted it was for the same reason. His look had to be from guilt. The guilt of not feeling the same for her, the guilt of loving someone else.

“Kass, I never meant to hurt you,” he said. “I didn’t think I could.”

Fighting back the rush of hurt she felt, she whispered, “You can’t help who you love.” As the last word left her lips, she lost it. The sobs overcame her and she fell to her knees burying her face in the shoulder of Liam’s shirt as his arms pulled her to him. They just sat there like that for what felt like hours before Kass finally pulled back, her fingers clutching at the fabric of his grey tee shirt. “Why didn’t you just send me home?”

His eyes misted over at her words as he pulled her back to him, the hand he’d had on her back moving to her hair as he crossed his legs and pulled her into his lap. She just fisted her hands in the cotton of his tee as the sobs shook her shoulders. She needed to let it out, she needed to just cry and her pride would never allow that in front of the other girls, not even Abelia, but as Liam held her, she felt like everything was okay. Even though he didn’t love her, even though he’d been a complete and utter jackass, even though she felt like her world had just been shattered, being in his arms somehow made it better. Just the sound of his breathing in her ear and the feel of his heart beat against her fists, brought peace to her and as he began to hum, she slowly drifted to sleep; the protective caging of his arms keeping her safe.

“I’m so sorry,” he whispered as she slept. “I’m so very sorry, Kass. I just…” Biting his lip, he turned his eyes skyward and murmured, “I just think it’s Jenna… I just, I just think… Maybe.”