Hand Me Downs.

The next couple of days passed slowly, Molly had us on a mission to clear out the dining room. Practically coated in Doxy’s and more normal bothers such as spiders and rats.

“I don’t trust rats anymore.“ I complained to Ron one afternoon as I glared at one, he nodded at me, wincing as Fred turned, a large spider in hand.

So far, Harry had apologised but not brought up our conversation the other day, and Molly had us working so hard that we were exhausted every night, so sneaking between rooms (excluding me going into the twins to spend more time ‘testing’ their puking pastilles with my head in a bucket) wasn’t happening.

I was glad, glad I didn’t have to talk about her, it wasn’t something I felt comfortable doing.

“Fred leave him alone!" I scolded, noticing what he was doing, hitting his hand away and causing Ron to let out a high pitched squeal as the spider flew through the air and landed on the front of his jumper.

“Oh my god, oh merlin, get it off Amelia, get it off, get it off!” I was too far into hysterics to help him, sinking to the floor only slightly aware of Hermione removing the offending arachnid and Ron practically running from the room.

“That was brilliant,” Fred choked, his face bright red, likely how mine was.

“Will you two stop messing around, honestly Amelia you’re as bad as both of them.” Molly half moaned, as if we hadn’t heard her sniggering just seconds ago.

I dragged myself up slowly, trying to force a straight face which cracked whenever I looked at Fred.

Molly sighed, “You two go find something else to do,” she rolled her eyes shaking her head, “And that does not involve waking that wretched portrait. See if Sirius needs help with anything.”

We stumbled from the room past a pale Ron and again collapsed on the stairs, laughter erupting quickly and lasting for a long time, Ron’s face flashing behind my eyelids.

“That was the best thing I’ve ever seen.” I gasped between laughs, my chest and throat aching, and only stopping when I took a magnitude of deep shaky breaths, Fred doing the same until we began to look sane.

“We are never forgetting this,” he said, standing and offering me a large warm hand, a grin still over his face as he pulled me up gently, flinging an arm around my shoulders. “So, you wanna go find Sirius?” I snorted at him and he grinned wider, “Well if Mum’s busy she’ll never know... we should go explore!”

“How old are you?” I asked, head tilted, but wand already out, he pulled his arm off and began up the stairs continuing past the first floor which held the three bedrooms us ‘children’ were inhabiting and up to the third floor, highest in the house and one we had explicitly been banned from.

“Your mum is gunna flip,” I sang lightly, walking towards a door that must have belonged to Sirius, “Regulus,” I muttered to myself, “Most Purebloods have really strange names, you guys got off lightly...“ he nodded, drawing closer and sighing as the door didn’t move at all. He held his wand out but I pushed it down so it faced the ground.

“Don’t, this is probably too private, actually this whole floor must be their old bedrooms, I’d feel a bit...off...going through them.” He popped his lips but nodded, leading the way down to the second floor, which contained a hallway full of black doors.

“The first couple are for mum and that... and we need to avoid her...” he whispered, pointing to the small filthy curtain that covered the portrait of Mrs Black, Sirius’ old and vile racist mother who liked screaming at any opportunity. “That one!” he said, pointing to the room closest to her, the door unlocked which made me feel less guilty about going in.

It looked like an old drawing room, a couple of dusty sofas faced an old fireplace, a large window, largest I had seen in the house let in still dim light, portraits which like Mrs Black had also been covered with fabric.

“Look at this,” Fred called, grabbing my arm gently and spinning me in his direction. It was a family tree, painted across the largest wall, a small portrait over every golden name. “Why are there so many burns?” Fred asked but I already knew the answer.

“They’ve been taken off, look,” I said, pointing to a low burn, “This must be Sirius, anyone that didn’t fit in or was...”

“Not heartless was burnt off.” A voice made me jump and I grinned sheepishly as Sirius stepped into the room, his voice bitter, and his eyes hard as he approached, Fred jumping quickly out of the way as we watched his finger trace the wall.

“See, Tonk's mother, Andromeda was burnt off, they never even put Tonks on, far too much of a blood traitor.” His finger went back up to the three sisters, glancing at me as it landed on one whose name glittered more than the rest. I frowned at the look in his eyes as he moved again, mumbling to Fred as I leant against the wall, my eyes firmly stuck on her name.

Bellatrix Lestrange, Sirus’s cousin, a madwoman.
The woman who destroyed my mother.

It was painful to properly think about and I found myself suddenly wanting to talk about. But I held the want back, I had to deal with it, there was no changing the past and I hated the pity that formed in people’s eyes when they knew.

The only person who would ever understand was Neville. But thank the lord he wasn’t dragged into all of this. Poor sweet Neville who still saw his parents, maddened because of the torture from her, Lestrange.

Yet Neville still felt sorry for me.

“Sorry for coming in here Sirius.“ I murmured quickly, rushing out of the door and back downstairs, not stopping until I reached the others again, offering George a smile as he look concerned at my face. But I didn’t see him, I saw her. I felt sick, imagining it, that was what my father always said never to do.

But he didn’t understand, he was a muggle, only brought into this by my foolish muggle born mother, he didn’t understand the curse, he didn’t know how terrible it was no matter what he was told, he didn’t have to see the pictures of Bellatrix in the paper so much, to look into her dark crazed eyes as she screamed.

He wasn’t in this world, he didn’t understand it, he didn’t want to.
In so many ways I hated that, we barely had a connection, we were too different, so separated.

He didn’t understand.

I detested that as much as I was grateful for it.

“Amelia are you okay?” a voice rang distorted in my ears until I finally pulled myself back into the present, “Fine thanks.” she frowned, never one to be fooled, even though I was sure I was pale and shaking.

I was fooling nobody let alone the intellect that was Hermione Granger.

She continued to survey me, going and murttering to Molly before leading me from the room gently, her cold hand around my own. I followed in a trance until I felt the thin mattress underneath me and realised I was sitting on my bed.

“Amelia, what happened?” I ignored her, hating how weak I was.

I shouldn’t be upset, I should be angry like Neville, but... he still had his parents, which even in their state I envied. I swallowed deeply, the urge to tell someone erupting from me, a flood of tears choking my words as I told her everything.

Growing up with her in Saint Mungo’s, how I still swore sometimes it was Bellatrix looking at me from my mother’s eyes rather than her. How she had taken the knife she had stolen that one day when I was eight and had torn her face was ear to ear, cackling as she fell, bleeding to death.

How I didn’t even scream, I didn’t call for help. I was frozen.

Her laugh was Bellatrix’s laugh.
Bellatrix had poisoned her mind.

I ended up sobbing into Hermione’s shoulder, her bushy hair scratching my face as her hand ran lightly up and down my back. Eventually I stopped crying, finding myself becoming embarrassed and pulling away, still hiccupping pathetically but almost smiling proudly at her determined face.

“You already knew,” I said shakily and she nodded, frown lines deep on her forehead,

“I know Bellatrix went down for torture, and I figured it was someone from the Order and I knew your mother had died and...I heard Remus and Sirius discussing Bellatrix and other names ages ago but I couldn’t hear well and I only got one clearly, Rachel Imrie....Sirius had a list of original members on the picture he’s got that he showed us the other day and I saw your mother and... I knew it was her with her maiden name in a heartbeat.”

Only one thing stuck out to me, “You didn’t hear the other names?” she shook her head, looking hopeful I would continue.

I copied her movement, wiping my eyes and sniffing, “Good.”

Good for Neville, it was his secret to tell. It wasn’t my place.

“Thank-you,” I said a couple of minutes later after the silence grew uncomfortable.

“I won’t say anything,” she promised instantly and I smiled at her.

“I know Hermione.”

That was the day our bond dramatically increased and Hermione stayed true to her word, as always.

“We should go down.” I said, checking my face in the mirror, my eyes were still rimmed red but as we walked in the room Harry came up to me asking how I was. Molly had told them I was bitten by a doxy, easy to treat with the potion that was kept upstairs.

I gave her a grateful smile, forcing a jokey smile on my face and starting to talk to Ron was we worked, ignoring Fred as he sidled up to me, having come down when I was with Hermione and understanding why I was upset.

“Come to our room tonight,” he murmered, looking between me and George and I sighed but nodding, knowing I was in for a lot of questions about what I had said to Hermione.

“She already knew,” I muttered when the room was busy with chatter, “She is annoyingly smart.”

“Tell me about it,” Ron added, only hearing the end of our conversation, I rolled my eyes, pushing him gently.

“If she wasn’t so smart you’d actually have to do your own work Ronald, imagine the horrors!”