Hand Me Downs.

Happy Thoughts.

Sadly my mind kept drifting back to other things, reported sightings of her
And the fact I had to spend three days at home at Easter the next week.

It was Dad’s birthday, so Tammy was taking me out on the Saturday shopping, then we were having a meal on Sunday and got to spend all of Monday together playing happy families and listening to Tammy plan the wedding.

Normally, although we seemed to have little in common I longed to spend time with my Dad, try to bridge that gap...but with Tammy there it would just be a lot of awkward affection and nodding on my behalf.

“You’re supposed to think of something happy. Cheer up.” Ryan grinned, brushing past me.

“Why, what are you thinking about?”

“That would be telling.”

“Is it winning the Quidditch World Cup as head chaser?” He turned to me, his eyes wide, dramatic, a whisper.

“Witchcraft.”

I felt the laughter build, aching my chest before it erupted, cackling in the center of the room like hyenas.

Ryan’s hearty chuckle made mine louder, more strong in the quiet and determined chamber.

“Guys,” Alicia scolded, her patronus breaking in front of her, “Quit being so distracting!” Ryan stuttered an apology, bursting back into unforgiving and impossible to control giggles.

“Ex...expecto patronum.” I choked, a light whisp of white emitting from my wand but nothing dramatic.
After a few minutes we stopped, a variety of looks aimed over at us, as we moved away to the far wall, trying desperately to stop but each time meeting each others eyes and erupting again.

“Oh my God it’s not even that funny!” Dale called, looking irritated.

“Withcraft.” I screeched, leaning on the wall for support, “At Hogwarts, fucking witchcraft.” My stomach was cramping, cheeks burning.

Ryan had dragged himself upwards, face flushed, keeping his eyes hard on the group of students when his mouth twitched, and his whole body followed, trying to fight back the humour.

He couldn’t and more time than any seventeen year olds should spend in hysterics passed before we were able to try the Patronus charm again.

“Quidditch.” I said gently, watching Ryan close his eyes, flicking his wand when a silver shape burst out and I squeaked in delight, tapping his arm. His eyes wrenched open, the fox slinking around us, so close I could almost feel it brush against me.

“Oh wow, well done!” He grinned widely but in a few seconds the creature seemed to disperse into the air. “That was really good Ry!"

“I try...it was Quidditch by the way.” He said offhandedly, a few other silver creatures darting around the room.

“I know you,” I offered, but my voice turned, “I don’t know what to think of.” I said grouchily.

“What makes you happy.”

“Lots of things but I don’t think any of them are strong enough.”

“Think of me if you like.” He winked, lighting the room but turning slightly away, groaning at his next attempt which vanished like a thick fog.

I also twisted, leaving just the wall in front of me, no distractions.
What made me truly happy?

My friends, the fact I had pulled it together with McGonagall and was not only managing to shift but to hold it for extended amounts of time.

Flicking through my Dad’s old pictures of him and my mother.
But everything was tainted with Bellatrix.

Until a sudden extraordinary memory hit me. Something I hadn’t thought of in years.
The most sane my mother ever was.

I was six, must have been not long after my birthday and we had visited her, Dad leaving to get coffee, talk to the healer he still stubbornly referred to as nurse.

She’d pulled me onto her lap, I was still scared of her at that age, the random rage, the blank stares.
But she’d pulled me onto her lap, a picture I had drawn for her at school in her hand.

And she’d held me, let me explain everything in the picture in my slow childish way, a ridiculous array of blobs representing animals, and me and her standing at the front.

She’d ran her hand over the two stick figures, and for a few seconds, the garble fell from her voice, she was her again completely.

“It’s beautiful.” She had said, her voice soft, velvet, the only time I could remember ever hearing it clearly.

I heard it now.

“Expecto Patronum!”

And an eagle soared.

I watched it fly around the two of us, Ryan again grinning at me, falling into a soft smile when he saw the tears swimming in my eyes.

“Well done.” I was grateful for the simplicity and earnest nature of his tone, and I dropped my wand, the eagle vanishing.

We turned, heading back towards others when I caught George’s eye, “Impressive.”

“She was thinking about me mate.” Fred chipping in, ruining any sort of moment that could have blossomed.

“Of course I was Fred.” I drawled, pulling a face and moving in-between them, “Do you two have the same Patronus? Just out of curiosity?”

They looked at each other over my head, “Dunno, we haven’t really even tried it yet.”

“Idiots.”

“Says the one who near about pissed herself in the corner."

“At least I didn’t piss myself in the...” I was met with a wand in my face, Fred playfully glaring at me, many eyes on us, Lavender Brown rolling hers as she kept trying the spell but was failing dismally.

“Go on Amelia, tell us.” Seamus, who had seemingly changed his beliefs one-hundred-and-eighty-degrees and had started attending meetings, teeth bared in a beaming smile, “Pissed himself when?”
George pinched my elbow lightly and I let it drop.

“I’ll keep it as blackmail.” I promised, winking at his grin, and starting an evil laugh.

“Wait,” he cut me off, “Why is he here?” I looked where he was spotting nothing through the other members but feeling a brushing against my leg, definitely not a Patronus.

“Dobby?” I started but he rushed to Harry who had been flirting with Cho and tugging on his trousers. Everyone dropping silent quickly, eager to hear what he was saying.

I could only make out odd words, but his body language, he was shaking, eyes wide, coated in the knitted hats Hermione still continued to make. He was scared about something, had run here to warn Harry. I jumped as he ploughed head first into a wall.

“He’s punishing himself.” I muttered to George, arm looped around my waist, we’d heard what Harry had said about Dobby beforehand.

The elf continued fighting against him, “Who’s she?” he urged, “Umbridge?” The word was enough to make everyone tense.

“We need to go now.” Someone hushed Zacharius.

'Is she coming?' Harry asked Dobby quietly, causing him to howl, smacking his feet as he proclaimed the words that made my heart stop. “Yes, Harry Potter, yes!” Everyone froze, motionless, terrified.

"WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?” Harry bellowed. “RUN!”

We didn’t need telling twice and there was a rush for the door, causing a blockage before they were finally wrenched open, George’s hand hard around my wrist.

“We can’t go straight to the common room it’s too far.”

“The library?” I shook my head, Katie catching up with us.

“All the passages are being watched! And that’s too obvious!”

We heard shouting behind us, “If they catch us we’re expelled!”

“The loose tapestry on the sixth floor by Transfiguration!” George yelled, the three of us darting down the stairs, Fred not too far behind with a terrified looking Angelina.

Quickly, George tore the tapestry up, it lay upon a dent in the wall, just deep enough for us all to hide, to not leave any impression against the fabric.

“Merlin’s beard!” Katie muttered, all of our breathing heavy, “What if she caught anybody?”

I could hear voices further away, and from the widening of Fred’s eyes as much as he could do, hushing her and Angelina. The voices grew louder, footsteps.

“To the headmasters office I think Potter!” Her voice was soft, sickeningly sweet but dripping with venom.
I shot George a worried glance, my heart pounding against my chest as they began to draw away.

“We wait here for a few minutes, then the library is closest, but we have to look normal.”

“Brilliant piece of advice George.” Angelina bit, earning a glare.

But she went silent and we waited, Fred keeping an eye on his watch, us only leaving when we were sure there was nobody around, when our breathing was normal. “Look casual.” I urged, Angelina instantly going to what she knew best in light conversation. Quidditch.

I hoped Umbridge hadn’t gotten anybody else, but Harry. He was already on her list.
She couldn’t expel him surely?

Dumbledore wouldn’t allow it.
We arrived back, everyone else there, still looking worried.

No Harry.

“Umbridge has him,” Katie explained to a waiting group of the order, “We were hiding and she dragged him past to Dumbledore.”

Hermione’s face paled, “But, if she expels him... At least she...” She felt over herself, if anything more white, eyes bulging. “I don’t have the list, I put it down...if they get in there and find it...we’re all on it.”

“Shit.” Dale offered up basically from the sofa, lounging next to a confused looking Leanne.

“Well, who told Umbridge?” She asked, “Or were you not careful enough?”

“Of course we were careful enough!” Hermione scorned, meeting my gaze, “And we’ll know whoever it was that told,” She nodded, faces in both our directions, “Amelia and I put a very easy to spot charm on whoever broke the treaty.”

“Boils.” I said simply, “Not pretty...but...who wasn’t there? Was there anyone that didn’t turn up?”

“A few people,” She struggled to remember, most of the room was empty, a few of the group must have scared the lower years away. “People are busy, they have homework and couldn’t spare the time.”

“If he wasn’t there I would have put my money on Zacharias,” Fred offered, “That git.”

“Is there any chance they just caught on?” Alicia asked softly, looking fearful of Hermione’s temper, her shoulders sagged slightly,

“I don’t... the coins were the only way of knowing the time, but that didn’t show the place and we changed days most weeks so... I hope not.”

“You’d rather someone betrayed us?” Neville asked, looking livid. “Now we’re all going to get expelled?!”

I frowned at him, knowing exactly why he was so angry, he was doing so well but there was still so much more to learn.

“There’s no point stressing about that now,” I urged, talking primarily to him, “Until we find out what Umbridge knows and says to Harry.”

“You’ve seen her,” Ron, “She got rid of Trelawny, she wants rid of everything who doesn’t do everything she says, she’s not going to let this go.”

“We can’t assume anything yet.” I argued gently, “Let’s just... either go to bed or wait for Harry.”

“If he even comes back.” Dean said darkly, making his way to the boys staircase.

After some more tense chatter the room began to empty although Hermione and Ron stayed stiffly on one set of chairs, my friends bid me a goodnight, Katie asking if I intended to stay up, I shrugged, turning to Hermione who shook her head softly.

I knew whatever happened the three would prefer to be alone, to keep secrets in their trio as they always did. “Yeah, I’ll be up in a moment.” I promised, Katie bidding a goodnight to Fred, George and Lee before making her way up.

“I’m going to go to bed,” I told him, flicking a misplaced bit of hair and glancing back at his brother and Hermione, “Yours or mine?”

“Mine.” I smirked, hands on his chests as his slid down my side.
I hated people who were overly touchy in public, permanently attached.

But, having been one of those people for nearly four months I was slowly changing my opinion.
Although at least we didn’t permanently snog like some couples, mouths glued together.
It was nauseating.

He whined and I giggled, pulling away, “Night Fred, night Lee.”

“Oh yeah, notice us now!” Our voices and comments were light but I knew we were all worried, waiting for news, I wasted another few minutes but we’d been back for twenty and there was still not Harry.

I was fearful Umbridge had had her way and just chucked him out.

After filling Leanne on with what had happened in more detail, Sarah was still hidden behind her curtains.
I hadn’t seen her in person in a couple of days, getting up before us, not spending any time in the common room. She ignored us completely in lessons, although we only shared a couple.

I felt guilty, Katie looking at her bed as well.

She’d tried, harder than any of us to talk to Sarah, to try and understand why she didn’t want to bother with us anymore but to no success.
I’d hoped we would at least be civil, but she still blanked us.

“No point trying when she clearly doesn’t give a fuck.” Leanne said bitingly, to make sure she would hear and pulling a face as I hushed her. “What, I don’t care anymore!Obviously she never did that much!”

There was movement and Sarah appeared, storming quickly to the bathroom and slamming the door.

“Leanne!” Katie scolded, moving to the doorway and knocking gently, “Sarah? Sarah we’re sorry are you okay?”

“No,” She removed herself eventually, “But...” She looked for a second like she was going to open up, she also looked terrible, her face puffy, large bags under her eyes. It was the swollen stomach that had been hidden by her robes that caught my attention, finally poking through in her thin pajamas.

“Sarah,” I said carefully, “Are you...p...pregnant?”

She nodded, bursting into tears.

And Harry disappeared from my mind.

I didn’t find out what had happened until the next morning, exhausted. Trying to comfort Sarah we had gotten the whole story, she’d been with her cousin a lot, who happened, somehow, to know and tolerate a few Slytherins.

One of whom had managed to somehow persuade Sarah into sleeping with him, being a complete dick in between to her, drawing her in and making her feel needed when it suited him.

And especially when she had worked out she was pregnant, but it had been too late for a potion, too late for her not to feel that motherly urge.

He'd threatened her to sort it out and dropped her.

“I’ve ruined my life.” She wailed, “And he won’t even look at me! He said I was muggle scum and I never meant anything and...”

Katie pulled her closer to her body, her eyes wide and confused at the two of us.

“You slept with Adrian Pucy?” Leanne asked, her voice full of disgust, but almost as bad was a hint that made her sound impressed. I glared, “Look, how far along are you?”

“It was before Christmas so I’m at least four and a half months.”

“I’d say more from how you’re showing.” Leanne said gently, shrugging at Katie who glared at her, “My sister used to moan all the time when she was pregnant about how big she got quickly and I read a few of the books.”

She broke into sobs again, “We’ll take you to Madam Pomfrey,” Katie promised, “Have you spoken to your mum?”

Sarah’s mum was extremely strict, her father had been a muggle but divorced her and vanished. She had made up for the lack of a father figure by being insanely overprotective of her little girl.

I’d never even thought of Sarah having sex, she had always been the most innocent, more so than even Katie and Hermione.

“No, she’s going to kill me, she’ll be so disappointed.”

“Look, there must be some brew that can...”

“Leanne.” Katie’s teeth were gritted, voice hard, “Enough, you’re not helping.”

“It’s not my fault they didn’t use anything!”

“Leanne!” I exclaimed, shoving her arm, “Shut the hell up!” She bit the inside of her cheek but fell silent, grinding her teeth.

“Madam Pomfrey is always on call.”

“I can’t go, I have to finish the year.”

“You can’t deal with Care of Magical Creatures seven months pregnant, and this year doesn’t matter much, you need to tell someone.”

“I don’t understand how nobody noticed!” I mused quietly.

“Why do you think I’ve been avoiding everyone?” She sniffed, “I’ve been living in the library.” Katie and myself offered her a smile.

“I think we should go to Madam Pomfrey tonight,” She nodded after a few seconds at my urging, “Okay, come on then, let’s get you a cloak so you don’t get cold.”

We moved down the stairs slowly, tears still dribbling down her face.

I couldn’t imagine it, being in that situation, I’d seen enough about teenage mothers on the television and it looked far from easy.

But she was foolish, Leanne was right, to use nothing. She still had links to the muggle world; she should be using condoms at the very least.

I’d started back on my pill again once we had arrived back at Hogwarts, and I was aware the school brewed a potion not dissimilar from the morning after pill for emergencies.

Not that I’d ever heard of anyone having it, but I suppose that wasn’t something you went around saying.

I felt a slight hit of relief as I saw a stressed looking Harry speaking to his friends.
So he was still here, thank God.

Hermione lifted her brow but I gave her a shrug, the four of us, Leanne included although she seemed the most irritated heading slowly to the Hospital Wing, Katie and I using ‘Lumos’ to lead the way.

“If we run into Umbridge we’re dead.” Leanne said, lowering her voice, “And if she hears about this.”

I hadn’t even thought of that, although Sarah must have.
Just another thing to add to her worries.

Thankfully we made it there safely, and Katie moved to wake the old healer up, explaining the situation, who in turn dragged a very forlorn Professor McGonagall.

Trying to persuade Sarah she had to let her mum know.

And McGonagall also told us Professor Dumbledore had left, vanished.

We didn’t leave the room until morning.

By then we already had a new headmaster.