Been Here All Along

I raced through the forest, looking for a light of some kind to show me that I was making at least some sort of progress. With my MK20 rifle hugged closely to my chest, I slowed my pace down until I was at a swift shuffle through the dry brush. I was too afraid of what could be out here while the sun was down so I never rested until the sun rised or until I at least discovered another village of some sort. I had been at this for months, living off the land and whatever mysterious food I could find. I kind of liked being away from my platoon, only because I knew in my heart that I didn’t belong in the military like all these other guys. So I wasn’t at a complete loss when they left me back at that village so many months ago. I thought that maybe if I could keep up this lost act for a few more months until my service was over, then they could send me home before I saw any real action. I was too young to die.

I could see in the distant horizon that the sun was getting ready to rise, so I slowed my walking and decided it was time for a break. I picked the thickest tree I could find, sitting down and making myself comfortable by the trunk. Taking my backpack off, I unzipped the top zipper with quick tug and began to routinely set out all the supplies I had gathered in front of me. Carefully pulling the strap over my head, I set my rifle beside my thigh and started to neatly organize my things.

In the past year, I had visited about dozen villages and each place brought me new findings but nothing compared to the first village that I stumbled upon. There, the village people quickly found sympathy in me and sheltered me in their homes for a little over three months. When the Iraqi soldiers came to visit the village weekly, the eldest woman who had been bedridden for years would allow me to hide under the cot she slept in. I could hear the soldiers come in frequently to check for any intruders, but they never found any because this woman was so clever. She had a granddaughter that took the liberty to take care of her, and even at the age of eleven she did her job well because she didn’t have anyone else besides her grandmother. I bonded well with this girl after a while and I called her Hailey because I couldn’t pronounce her actual name. Before I had decided that it was time for me to move on to my next destination, Hailey came to me with a big pack full of food and a newly woven blanket that her grandmother had made for me. She couldn't understand my words because they were so foreign to her, but she knew just as well as I did that it was my time to leave. To avoid any complications, I wrote her a letter that hopefully one day she could understand enough to read and gave her a soft kiss on the forehead while she was asleep, then silently slipped out during the night with my food and blanket, not a single goodbye said.

I unfolded this blanket now, wrapping it around my body as much as I could so that I could keep warm. The block of time before I fell asleep was really the only opportunity I ever had to actually think about my life and everything thing that had been going on in the past year. Never once did I ever forget about my life back at home in Oregon: my amazingly beautiful wife Andrea and my ten month old child who I had yet to meet. I sat there cuddled into the trunk of the tree, wondering what they were doing at that exact moment. Maybe Andrea was at home trying to feed our baby in the highchair I never got around to building, or maybe they were both cuddled in bed lying there peacefully and thinking of me while I was thinking of them. I couldn’t help but think that maybe they were happy without me, but shook away the thought just as quickly as it came and I closed my eyes. “I’ll be home soon, baby, I promise. Just one more year, Hailey, just one more year,” I whispered before dozing off into yet another peaceful sleep with nothing but my family on my mind.
________________________

There he was beautiful electric blue eyes and everything, staring right at me. Our lips were so close to touching that I could taste his sweet breath in my mouth. “I missed you so much,” I cried.

“Andrea...” he whispered.

“Yes?” I asked, never breaking our gaze for a second.

“It’s time to wake up,” he smiled, releasing his grip around me and letting me fall. I didn’t wake up until I almost hit the ground.

“Andrea!” someone shouted. I shot up suddenly; frightened from the same nightmare I’d been having for the past five years. “Andrea! If you don’t get up you’re going to miss the plane again,” Spencer shouted at me.

“I’m coming, I’m coming!” I yelled back, getting up quickly. I got myself ready, running my hands through my thick brown hair and wiping my face down with a warm wash cloth, not bothering to put any makeup on.

“We’re leaving!” Spencer sang from downstairs.

“I’m almost done, don’t rush me,” I yelled back, grabbing my leather jacket and purse. I left my bedroom, carefully walking down my treacherous staircase and racing out the front door.

“Oh look who decided to grace us with her presence,” Spencer laughed. “Hailey look, its mommy!”

“Momma!” my daughter cheered, clapping her hands together, her big electric blue eyes smiling at me.

“Hi my baby,” I smiled back, leaning down to kiss her forehead before getting into the passenger seat.

“Momma are we gonna see daddy today?” she asked me from the backseat.

“I hope so, baby girl,” I smiled as Spencer backed out of the driveway. Here we were again, headed back to the airport for the fifth time in the last five years. Every year, we went to see all the troops come home for the Christmas holiday’s and hope that if by some kind of miracle Justin would be one of them. But of course, year after year, my husband never showed.

We arrived at the airport and parked, making our way through the crowds of people surrounded around the terminal. I held Hailey on my hip as Spencer took my hand softly in hers so we could await the moment when everyone arrived. Soon enough, camouflage began to appear in front of our eyes and something inside my stomach told me that this visit was going to be a special one.

As the last of troops exited the plane, I felt Spencer softly squeeze my hand. I turned to her with a sigh of frustration. Maybe this was all just a big waste of time because year after year there was no Justin. I adjusted Hailey’s weight on my hip and got ready to leave, but the look on Spencer’s face made me freeze. I followed her gaze to a man that had stopped in his tracks just yards from where we were standing. Everything about this man was terrifying, from his darkened sun burnt skin to the stubble that was growing in patches around the scars formed from poor shaving. He was terrifying, but his electric blue eyes screamed Justin.

I handed Hailey over to Spencer and without another thought I ran into Justin’s welcoming arms. His hold around me was so tight I didn’t have a fear of ever falling like I had in my dreams. I could feel his hot breath on my flushed cheek and his smell was still the same for most part, it had just slightly been altered due to lack of proper hygiene for the past five years; but everything about him was still perfect. This moment was so real, and again it was nothing like my nightmares of endlessly falling. Here he was, totally alive and standing right here in front of me.

“I missed you,” I whispered quickly. “Please don’t ever leave me again.”

“I promise you, Dre. I’m here to stay as long as you want me,” he said, a smirk forming on his perfect face as he leaned down to kiss my slightly open lips.

When we pulled away, I looked into his deep eyes and smiled. “Would you like to meet our daughter?” I asked him, looking over to an emotional Spencer who clung to Hailey as though she were big enough to support her.

“Of course,” he breathed, releasing my waist but never letting my hand go. We walked over to Spencer as she placed a shy Hailey onto her feet. Justin crouched down to her height as he had a million times before when she was still inside my tummy, and he took her little hands in his. “Hello, pretty lady,” he started. “Do you know who I am?”

When Hailey finally built up the courage to look up and into his eyes, something inside her little brain clicked and the comparison to their beautiful bright blue irises made sense to her. “Are you my daddy?” she asked, the corners of her little lips tugging upward into a smile.

“Yes, baby, I’m your daddy. And I would like to thank you for keeping your mommy safe,” he said, leaning in to place a single kiss on the top of our daughter’s perfect little forehead for the very first time.