Last Chance

I pulled up to her apartment building, nervous. I looked on the directory and dialed her number.

"Hello?"

"Hey Kel, it's me."

"Alright, come up." she buzzed me in

I took the stairs instead of the elevator. Trying to buy my time and calm my nerves. When I reached her door I realized my palms were sweating. I gave a gentle knock on the door, three times. I heard her come to the door and open it half way, peeking her face out to make sure it was me.

"Hey" she said shyly.

"Hey Kel, can I come in?"

"I guess so." she replied as she opened the door the rest of the way to let me in. I stood in the foyer and took off my shoes and jacket. I was so nervous and I'm sure she could tell.

"Can I get you anything?" she asked as I walked towards the kitchen

"No, I'm good."

I figured we might as well jump right into it. I didn't want to waste my time with this, or hers. She must have been thinking the same thing because before I could even open my mouth she said, "So Sid, why of all days did you pick today to come walking back into my life?" Her tone was harsh, and until she knew the total story I didn't think she would be able to forgive me.

I took a deep breath.

"Because I'm proud of you Kelly. I really am."

"So." she asked, raising my eyebrows at me.

"I know what I did was wrong, and I know I hurt you. But it was the only way that I could make sure that you pursued your dreams."

"What the fuck does that mean?"

"It means I left because I had to."

"Enough with the bullshit Crosby, you make no sense. How could you possibly think that walking out of my life would be good for me? Are you fucking mental?"

I was starting to get pissed. She was hardly letting me get in two words. I took one final deep breath, breathing out slowly before I answered her.

"You were throwing it all away Kelly! After your dad died, you lost your focus. I knew that if I stayed around you wouldn't earn what was yours. You would get things handed to you! And I knew in the long run that you would resent me if you ever found out! I knew that as hard as it was for me to walk away, that it would make you so mad! So made that you would propel yourself back into hockey! That my leaving would bring back the drive you needed to be able to succeed! Damn it Kel, that was the hardest thing I ever had to do. Not only was I leaving my best friend behind to fend for herself, but I was walking away from the other half of my soul! Fuck Kel, I was a mess for months, I had to throw myself back into hockey. You have no idea how many times I wanted to pick up the phone and call you. Times I wish I could go running with you, or just hang out! I know that I was a complete asshole, but if I hadn't done what I did, I don't think you would be where you are today! You would still be lost and trying to figure things out! I realize now it was the wrong thing to do, but at the time I thought it was best thing for you!" I slammed my fist down on the kitchen counter when I was done.

I hadn't yelled like this in a long time. Except in the locker room but that was different. She stood there, wide eyed in front of me, speechless as I was beared the burdens of my soul to her.

-----Fall 2005-----

"Are you ready Sid?" My dad asked as I packed the last of my stuff into his truck.

"No, I mean yes. I mean, let's go before I change my mind." I climbed into the passenger seat and buckled my seatbelt. I put my feet on the dashboard as my dad pulled out of the driveway.

We drove in silence for the majority of the trip and when we finally arrived in Pittsburgh, I realized my life would never be the same. My dad helped me unload my stuff into my room at Mario's and then stayed for a few days to help me settle in. Before he left he came and knocked on the door of my room.

"Yeah." I said, knowing it would be him.

"I'm about to head back Sid. I just wanted to say bye, and I wanted to give you this." He said as he pulled an envelope out of his jacket pocket. "Don't open it until I leave okay?"

"Okay dad" I said as I pulled him into a hug. This was it, I was grown up now. I had a week to adjust before I started doing all of my promo for the season. I forced myself to keep the tears at bay when he walked out of my room and headed back towards Nova Scotia. When I saw his car drive to the end of the driveway I pulled out the envelope. It was a photo of me and Kelly. When were around eight I think. She had just played her first league game I had gone to watch. I remember her laughing and telling me how much fun she had playing against girls instead of boys. The sticky note attached the back of it said.
"Don't ever forget where you came from. Keep your roots and know your soul."
It was written in my mom's perfect handwriting. She was rather upset with the fact that I had told Kelly I didn't want to be part of her life anymore. She would understand one day why I did what I did. "I'm sorry Kel." I said as I put the photo on my bedside table.

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All of the sudden the tears came. Damn you stupid tears.

She saw this, and before I knew what hit me she flung her arms around my waist and whispered "Thank You" into my chest. The feeling of her against me made my soul complete.