Dirtbag
FRIENDS APPLAUDED; THE COMEDY IS FINISHED
“Did you take that ass down?” Hanson asks. He’s been berating me ever since he found out I met with Casey. I’m asking myself if he is jealous or just a dick. It’s probably a combination of the two.
“No,” I sigh. “I don’t know if it was a date or anything like that. Maybe Casey just wants to be my friend. You wouldn't know anything about friends, though, would you?”
Hanson scoffs obnoxiously. “You’re letting it happen again.”
“Huh?”
“You always do this,” he says. “You always respect the girl way too much and get stuck in the hellish atmosphere that is the friend zone. Stop being such a pussy, Trenton.”
I snap, “Sorry that I don’t try to screw every vagina in a thirty-foot radius. Maybe you should just shut the fuck up.”
“Why have you been so pissy lately, man? She’s just another chick. Bros before ho’s, remember?”
“You’re such an idiot, Hanson,” I finally let out. “You don’t know what you’re talking about and you’re such a fucking idiot.”
“Well,” Hanson says, “if I’m such an idiot, then get out of my apartment. Don’t call and whine to me when the bitch doesn't suck your dick.”
Hanson is the idiot of all idiots.
“No,” I sigh. “I don’t know if it was a date or anything like that. Maybe Casey just wants to be my friend. You wouldn't know anything about friends, though, would you?”
Hanson scoffs obnoxiously. “You’re letting it happen again.”
“Huh?”
“You always do this,” he says. “You always respect the girl way too much and get stuck in the hellish atmosphere that is the friend zone. Stop being such a pussy, Trenton.”
I snap, “Sorry that I don’t try to screw every vagina in a thirty-foot radius. Maybe you should just shut the fuck up.”
“Why have you been so pissy lately, man? She’s just another chick. Bros before ho’s, remember?”
“You’re such an idiot, Hanson,” I finally let out. “You don’t know what you’re talking about and you’re such a fucking idiot.”
“Well,” Hanson says, “if I’m such an idiot, then get out of my apartment. Don’t call and whine to me when the bitch doesn't suck your dick.”
Hanson is the idiot of all idiots.