Do Overs and Second Chances

"Hey." Stephanie's voice caught my ear as I stared out over the harbor. I turned around to see her adjusting her dress and playing with my jacket as it sat around her shoulders. Her brilliant blonde hair seemed to glow in the dark night, "Hime told me to get you, that you guys were going home soon." I nodded and just put my arm out, letting it hang out there as a way of asking Stephanie to join me on the ground. She chuckled and slipped down next to me, stretching her legs out next to mine. I put my arm around her shoulders and she leaned her head into me.

Without thinking I kissed her head. My lips lingered there for a second as I stared out at the spots of light on the horizon. This was so beautiful,

"This reminds me of high school when you would take me out here just to sit and stare at the city lights." Stephanie spoke in a low tone, her voice reminiscent and sweet like it had been those many years ago. I chuckled and nodded, letting my brain trail to different thoughts of her.

I missed days like those. When I would just go driving with her in the passenger's seat, her feet bare and out the window with the wind blowing in our faces and the summer sun beating through the sun roof on our faces.

I sighed and laughed to myself for thinking what I was about to say was completely stupid and irrational, "Wanna go back to those days?" It was so sudden and I took it in stride. And Stephanie did too,

"I don't know." Truth be told, it was a response I had expected, "You have a daughter, I don't know if I'm ready to take on being a mother." I chuckled and shook my head as she leaned her's against my shoulder,

"You won't have to worry about that." She picked her head up and looked at me, although she had just put it there,

"What do you mean?"She scrunched her eyebrows together and stared at me with that adorable little pout on her face. I chuckled and squeezed her waist before there was a loud honk coming from behind us. We both turned to see what had made the sound. On the other side of the fence the bus could be seen, towering over the small dead grass. Jaime was next to the fence waving at me to come back to the bus and Mike was on top of it, sitting there with a cigarette in his mouth.

When I stood I put my hand out to Stephanie, who gratefully took it and she and I walked to the bus with her leaning close to my body. We walked slowly, so we could carry on our conversation,

"Tony, what did you mean 'I won't have to worry about it' when I mentioned your daughter?" Stephanie slipped her arm around my waist and I squeezed her shoulders a little tighter, chuckling guiltily as I thought of how to answer,

"Uhm. Alexa isn't living with me anymore." I scratched the back of my head with my free hand and kicked a pebble that appeared under my foot,

"Oh. So she's with Sicily's family?" Stephanie was adorable. She didn't get the subtle hint I was trying to make. I chuckled and looked at her,

"Actually," I paused and sighed, "No. I put Alexa up for adoption." Stephanie seemed amazed again, "She's with better parents now. I wouldn't have been able to take care of her. The people who adopted her will give her a better life than I would have been able to." The dirt and grass crunched beneath our feet as we moved closer to the fence,

"But, Tone, she meant so much to you. Why would it even have crossed your mind?" I stopped and turned toward her shrugging and trying to keep myself from getting emotional as I told her,

"Sicily." One word that more than explained my reasons but didn't nearly come close to justifying them, "Every time I saw Alexa I saw Sicily. And I didn't want to let her go. But I knew that I needed to let go of the thought of Sicily. And with Alexa around that wasn't happening. I was beginning to see things, hear things." I sighed and shrugged, "I didn't want that to happen again." I recounted back to my deep dark past that nobody knew about.

Stephanie nodded and got close to me, wrapping both her arms around my middle. She always gave the best hugs. Not too hard, not too soft. So perfect,

"I'm sorry, Tony." She held me carefully and buried her nose into my chest as I hugged her back, my arms going around her head and shoulders. I leaned my head down a little bit and kissed her forehead softly,

"Don't apologize, it's not your fault." I mumbled into her skin as we stood there,

"Come on guys!" Jaime shouted to us from the other side of the fence, sounding kind of annoyed and impatient, "I wanna go home!" He started to whine at us, like a little kid. Stephanie rubbed my back and we both turned to walk the rest of the way to the gate,

"Hey do you maybe wanna crash at my place for a little while?" Stephanie suggested as I pushed her over the fence. Once she was off my hands and on the other side I put my hands on the fence and started to answer,

"If you don't mind that I do some laundry at your place." I smiled at her and she did the same, nodding and looking down at her feet. My grin grew as I hopped the fence, landing next to Stephanie in the dirt.

"Alright let's go. I'm tired." Jaime climbed onto the bus with that final phrase of sheer childishness. I shook my head and got on board, walking up the steps with Stephanie in tow, her fingers barely lingering on mine as we moved into the front lounge.

Maybe this will be worth it.