Do Overs and Second Chances

When we got back to Stephanie's apartment Stephanie and I both walked off the bus, hand in hand, her fingers barely touching mine but they were holding them still. She let go of me and walked to her door, going up the steps and to the wooden plank. With every step I watched her hips as they seemed to shift and sway so naturally with her movements. I missed the way those hips moved.

I chuckled and walked to the trailer behind the bus, getting my duffel bag and skateboard from there they were lying among the other bags. As I got my stuff and closed the door, Jaime came up behind me and clapped a hand on my shoulder. I turned toward him and he smiled at me, taking my hand and giving me a kind of hug,

"Don't mess this one up." I backed away from him and nodded, squeezing his hand. He nodded and smiled back at me before walking to the bus. I turned and stared up at the balcony entrance to the apartment that had held so much tension and release. There was a loud hiss as the bus let out steam and drove off. I sighed as the hot exhaust fumes spilled out onto the sidewalk. My gaze dropped to the ground at the foot of the stairs. It was too dark to see if the stain from when Jaime got shot was still there but I guessed it was. When I got to the foot of the stairs I stopped and looked up at Stephanie at the top of them.

All I could see was Sicily. Her eyes wide and tears streaming down her face. My heart began to race as I stared up the stone steps. I closed my eyes and shook my head, bringing myself back to the present. Sicily was gone and in her place, Stephanie was standing at the top, unlocking the door. I shook my head and started up the stairs, my skateboard knocking every step as I went up.

When I got to the top Stephanie looked at me with that look that said 'really?' I smiled sheepishly and shrugged, "Sorry." She opened the door and stepped inside, dropping her keys in a bowl on a table to her right.

I let my eyes scan the room, which Stephanie had redone since moving in. The walls were decorated with more photos of her and her friends and the local San Diego scenery. There were letter going across one of them, spelling out a word I couldn't quite read. The old worn couch had been replaced by a newer version of the same couch.

I sniffed and the old, familiar scent of Stephanie filled my nose. That was something I had missed so dearly. That vanilla mixed with a hint of homeliness. It was everything that I had loved rolled into one smell. It was sleepless nights under the stars, hot coffees on long road trips. It was restless nights in the backs of cars. It was the feeling of her skin against mine. It was the way her voice said my name, said three words that scared me to death. The way her lips brushed mine and made me feel so alive.

I let my eyes drift closed as my mind slipped back into those memories, playing there for a moment or two before Stephanie shut the door behind me abruptly.

"You okay, Tone? That Vodka hasn't gone to your head has it?" She laughed at me and her heels clicked their way to the "master" bedroom.

"No, yeah I'm fine. Just remembering everything." I chuckled and walked to the couch, setting my bags down before looking around one last time, "I like what you've done with the place. It's really nice." A while back I'd stopped lying. The room really was nice. I can't lie. It was like Sicily had squeezed the last of my lying juice out of me.

I put my skateboard down next to the couch and walked over to Stephanie, slipping my arms around her waist and holding her close to me. Maybe I still had a little bit of a buzz from the club. My hands slipped from her back onto her hips, my thumbs rubbing over her hip bones the way I remember her loving as mu eyes stared into her's. They were just as dark as ever, sparkling so beautifully in the dim light of the living room. I leaned my face a little closer to her so our lips were mere inches from each other.

There wasn't any contact but I could feel her lips there and her breath as she breathed so raggedly against me. I couldn't stop my smile from overtaking my face.

"You want to kiss me." Was all I could say as Stephanie stood there, in complete silence so close to my lips. She licked her's and answered me, a soft 'mhm' blowing air through her nose and onto mine, "Then kiss me."

She seemed to pause herself as she contemplated if that was such a good idea, her breath catching in her throat and her eyes staying half open, studying my face. Before she could do anything I closed the gap between us, placing my lips so carefully against her's that one wouldn't think it were really a kiss. We both let our lips linger there for a moment as we felt each other's hearts beat on our chests.

After that brief exchange we separated and a soft blush crept onto Steph's face, nearly lost beneath her make up. I chuckled and moved my arms so they were hugging her close to my chest. She laughed and wrapped her arms under mine around my waist. I brought a hand to the back of her head and kissed her forehead so carefully, speaking against her skin,

"I've missed the taste of those lips." I could feel Stephanie hold me tighter, her arms squeezing me so carefully.

"I've missed you." It was three words, yes, but three words that have been haunting me through my years. Three words that I have wanted to hear for seven years. And now that I've heard them I don't know what to do with myself. All I can do right now is smile. Smile and hold her like this just the way I remember us being.

After a moment I let her go and we both kind of listed into the bedroom, neither of us really paying attention to what was happening. I felt like I was floating on cloud nine, my feet nowhere near the floor. When we got to the bedroom neither of us even knew what to do so we ended up just sitting on the bed, staring at each other. After a few minutes Stephanie yawned, noticeably and flopped back onto the bed. I chuckled and joined her, laying on my side and staring at her as she watched the ceiling. I had forgotten how beautiful she was. She turned on the bed so she was facing me, resting on her elbow as her vibrant eyes stared back at me.

"Why did I ever let you go?" I wasn't so much asking her as I was asking myself. I never fully understood why I had let go of such a beautiful gem. She was perfect. Well, as close to perfect as any human being could be. She was sweet, funny, caring. The only set back was her protective and suspicious personality. Otherwise she was amazing. She could dance amazingly and bends in ways I never thought a woman could.

"That's a tricky question." Her voice was soft as she scooted closer to me, wrapping her arm over my side and pulling herself even closer. "Please don't do it again."

My arms slipped around her and held her in her place.

"Never." The word came so easily to my lips. Like it had been resting on my tongue so gently, waiting for the moment when it could be let out. Like a bird that had been caged much too long, itching to be let out into the whirlwinds and clouds that scattered the earthly air. It had been sitting there, waiting to stretch it's wings and fly to Stephanie like it had. And it fell so softly upon the air it was like it had never even been there. But she knew it had been. And I knew it had been. That was all that had been needed to stretch that familiar smile over her face.

And we lay like that for what felt like an eternity, everything moving in slow motion. Her breathing on my chest, her eyelashes brushing my skin, my fingers tracing small circles into her back. Everything moved slow, seeming to merge with time itself.

Just like it used to.